Ever After. William Wharton

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СКАЧАТЬ to argue. I have a headache and I’m beginning to feel faint. What kind of guy am I living with?

      After another half hour, I have my breath back. I’m ready to start down. Bert stands up, windmills his arms around in big circles, helps me wrestle my pack up on my back again.

      ‘Kate, try 200 more steps. I know you can do it. If you come this close to the top of Mount Olympus and turn back, you’ll never forgive yourself.’

      So we start trudging on, Bert practically dragging me along behind him. I begin to understand the meaning of the word ‘enthusiasm,’ one of Dad’s favorites. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard him say it meant ‘with the gods’ in Ancient Greek or something. Bert’s definitely with the gods, or, at least, wants to be.

      I’d been counting, trying to give my mind something to do, and once we reach 200 I stop. If it weren’t so cold, I’d be sweating down into my boots. The top looks closer, but not close enough. Neither of us says anything. Bert drops his pack and helps me off with mine again. We sit on the rocky side of that damned hill. Even Bert is puffing.

      ‘Well, we’re getting close, Honey. I’ll bet not many women have made it this far. I’m proud of you.’

      He’s being so slick, which isn’t like him. Maybe living together is a big mistake. What other goofy ideas does he have? Mount Everest? I feel I might be getting hysterical.

      ‘OK, Bert. I’ll try to reach the top of this goddamned mountain but when we come down, we’re finished. I don’t want to live with a madman.’

      ‘Oh, come on, Kate. You don’t mean that. If you feel that way, let’s just turn on back right now. I didn’t realize. I’m sorry.’

      I look at him and stand. He pushes the pack up on my back and then pulls on his. He starts on his way down the hill. I turn and start up. I’m determined to shame him, make him realize what he’s been doing. I’m sure I’m going to die of exhaustion or a heart attack and it will be his fault. He hurries after me.

      ‘You OK, Kate? Come on, let’s go back. Your face is white.’

      I don’t answer. I keep my eyes down and take one step at a time. If this is the last thing we ever do together, at least I’m going to do it right. He trudges along behind me. I don’t even think to worry about Wills. I’m that mad. Bert tries to take the pack off my back but I shrug him off. He doesn’t say anything.

      I don’t know how I do it, but we reach the top. I check to be sure there’s no higher place, then plop down. I’m sure I’m going to faint, but I don’t. I look out. It is beautiful. Bert’s on his knees beside me, looking into my face.

      ‘Please don’t be this way, Kate. I just got so excited by the whole idea I didn’t think. Come on, give me another chance.’

      I stare at him. Then I see tears in his eyes. I’d never even thought Bert could cry. He knows. He knows how close he’s come to losing me. More than anything else, I know how much he really loves me, not just romance or sex but love with a capital L-O-V-E. I fall over into him.

      We sit on top of that cold, uncomfortable hill through most of the afternoon.

      ‘Kate, we’d better start back down before sundown. I’m not sure I can find our way back to the camp in the dark.’

      I stand up. I look at him.

      ‘Bert, I know you can.’

      He looks me in the eyes carefully, gives me a hug, and we begin walking.

      It’s hard to believe how easy it is going down. Although my legs are like rubber and my big toe feels as if it’s going to push its way right out the front of that heavy boot, we make it just as the sun sets. Bert has both packs. I know he’s incredibly excited about having made it all the way to the top but he doesn’t want to say anything until I do. And I’m just too tired.

      When we arrive at the tent, I flop on the sleeping-bag. I hurt all over. Bert piles our packs in the corner, then kneels at my feet and unlaces my boots. I’m too tired to stop him. He gets off my boots and socks, then begins massaging my feet. Having my feet massaged is one of the things I like most in this world. How did he know? Immediately my headache starts to fade. I begin to be proud we’ve actually made it. He covers my feet and crawls up to my head. He looks into my eyes.

      ‘Kate, you did it. You climbed to the top of Mount Olympus. That makes you a goddess. I always knew you were one, but this proves it.’

      He reaches into his pack and pulls out, of all things, a bottle of champagne, a warm bottle. He’s toted it all the way up that mountain and then back again.

      ‘I hoped we could drink this up there, but it wasn’t the right time. Will you drink some with me now, before it explodes?’

      I smile and reach up for him. He comes down on me and gives me one of his most loving and enfolding bear hugs. Up there on that hill was the closest I came to losing the best man in the world. We drink the warm champagne slowly. Bert undresses and undresses me. We climb into the sleeping-bag. We haven’t even finished the bottle when I fall asleep with my head on his shoulder. I imagine he finishes the bottle himself, but I don’t remember a thing.

      We stay at the camp another day while I recover from my stiffness and my poor feet heal enough so I can walk on them again. It’s warm now and I spread out in the sun. I have to admit I keep looking up at that mountain, not believing I’ve really done it. I can’t think of any one thing, except having Wills, that was so hard or so worth doing.

      A few days later, we go to a monastery, which for centuries allowed only men inside. We’re hauled up a cliff in a wicker basket. I’m scared to death. They house us in neat, clean, small rooms that used to be cells for the monks. We eat at a big long table with the monks and a few other tourists. The food is simple but good. There’s no electricity so we go to bed early. Bert starts making his moves. Then I remember.

      ‘Bert, I left my diaphragm down in the car, and it’s the wrong time.’

      He doesn’t stop but keeps fondling, stroking, nuzzling me.

      ‘I’ll tell you, Honey, much as I love you, I’m not going down in that basket in the dark to get it.’

      I turn into him.

      ‘I’m not either.’

      We make love, simply, almost reverently, in a way somehow like the food and the whole place, simple and rewarding. Afterward, as I lie stretched out on my back, I look up at the ceiling and try to read what’s written out in gold and red in a ring around the wall. I can’t figure out much but there’s one word in that crazy complicated printing that looks to me like Dayiel.

      Three weeks after we’re back, I know I’m pregnant. I check with a kit and sure enough it’s so. This is the very last thing I want. I know abortion is out for me. It has nothing to do with religion or anything. I just don’t like the idea of anybody violating my body and then having nothing for it; it’s like a negative number somehow, something you can see, but less than zero: nothing. I tell Bert.

      It makes him crazy. He picks me up and swings me in the air. I think he’s going to drop me.

      ‘It was in that monastery, wasn’t it? Tell me.’

      ‘As СКАЧАТЬ