The Younger Set. Chambers Robert William

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ style="font-size:15px;">      "Don't you think it best for you to go to bed?"

      "No. But you may go."

      And, as he did not stir: "I mean that you are not to sit here because I do." And she looked around at him.

      "What has gone wrong, Eileen?" he said quietly.

      He had never before used her given name, and she flushed up.

      "There is nothing the matter, Captain Selwyn. Why do you ask?"

      "Yes, there is," he said.

      "There is not, I tell you—"

      "—And, if it is something you cannot understand," he continued pleasantly, "perhaps it might be well to ask Nina to explain it to you."

      "There is nothing to explain."

      "—Because," he went on, very gently, "one is sometimes led by malicious suggestion to draw false and unpleasant inferences from harmless facts—"

      "Captain Selwyn—"

      "Yes, Eileen."

      But she could not go on; speech and thought itself remained sealed; only a confused consciousness of being hurt remained—somehow to be remedied by something he might say—might deny. Yet how could it help her for him to deny what she herself refused to believe?—refused through sheer instinct while ignorant of its meaning.

      Even if he had done what she heard Rosamund Fane say he had done, it had remained meaningless to her save for the manner of the telling. But now—but now! Why had they laughed—why had their attitudes and manner and the disconnected phrases in French left her flushed and rigid among the idle group at supper? Why had they suddenly seemed to remember her presence—and express their abrupt consciousness of it in such furtive signals and silence?

      It was false, anyway—whatever it meant. And, anyway, it was false that he had driven away in Mrs. Ruthven's brougham. But, oh, if he had only stayed—if he had only remained!—this friend of hers who had been so nice to her from the moment he came into her life—so generous, so considerate, so lovely to her—and to Gerald!

      For a moment the glow remained, then a chill doubt crept in; would he have remained had he known she was to be there? Where did he go after the dinner? As for what they said, it was absurd. And yet—and yet—

      He sat, savagely intent upon the waning fire; she turned restlessly again, elbows close together on her knees, face framed in her hands.

      "You ask me if I am tired," she said. "I am—of the froth of life."

      His face changed instantly. "What?" he exclaimed, laughing.

      But she, very young and seriously intent, was now wrestling with the mighty platitudes of youth. First of all she desired to know what meaning life held for humanity. Then she expressed a doubt as to the necessity for human happiness; duty being her discovery as sufficient substitute.

      But he heard in her childish babble the minor murmur of an undercurrent quickening for the first time; and he listened patiently and answered gravely, touched by her irremediable loneliness.

      For Nina must remain but a substitute at best; what was wanting must remain wanting; and race and blood must interpret for itself the subtler and unasked questions of an innocence slowly awaking to a wisdom which makes us all less wise.

      So when she said that she was tired of gaiety, that she would like to study, he said that he would take up anything she chose with her. And when she spoke vaguely of a life devoted to good works—of the wiser charity, of being morally equipped to aid those who required material aid, he was very serious, but ventured to suggest that she dance her first season through as a sort of flesh-mortifying penance preliminary to her spiritual novitiate.

      "Yes," she admitted thoughtfully; "you are right. Nina would feel dreadfully if I did not go on—or if she imagined I cared so little for it all. But one season is enough to waste. Don't you think so?"

      "Quite enough," he assured her.

      "—And—why should I ever marry?" she demanded, lifting her clear, sweet eyes to his.

      "Why indeed?" he repeated with conviction. "I can see no reason."

      "I am glad you understand me," she said. "I am not a marrying woman."

      "Not at all," he assured her.

      "No, I am not; and Nina—the darling—doesn't understand. Why, what do you suppose!—but would it be a breach of confidence to anybody if I told you?"

      "I doubt it," he said; "what is it you have to tell me?"

      "Only—it's very, very silly—only several men—and one nice enough to know better—Sudbury Gray—"

      "Asked you to marry them?" he finished, nodding his head at the cat.

      "Yes," she admitted, frankly astonished; "but how did you know?"

      "Inferred it. Go on."

      "There is nothing more," she said, without embarrassment. "I told Nina each time; but she confused me by asking for details; and the details were too foolish and too annoying to repeat. . . . I do not wish to marry anybody. I think I made that very plain to—everybody."

      "Right as usual," he said cheerfully; "you are too intelligent to consider that sort of thing just now."

      "You do understand me, don't you?" she said gratefully. "There are so many serious things in life to learn and to think of, and that is the very last thing I should ever consider. . . . I am very, very glad I had this talk with you. Now I am rested and I shall retire for a good long sleep."

      With which paradox she stood up, stifling a tiny yawn, and looked smilingly at him, all the old sweet confidence in her eyes. Then, suddenly mocking:

      "Who suggested that you call me by my first name?" she asked.

      "Some good angel or other. May I?"

      "If you please; I rather like it. But I couldn't very well call you anything except 'Captain Selwyn.'"

      "On account of my age?"

      "Your age!"—contemptuous in her confident equality.

      "Oh, my wisdom, then? You probably reverence me too deeply."

      "Probably not. I don't know; I couldn't do it—somehow—"

      "Try it—unless you're afraid."

      "I'm not afraid!"

      "Yes, you are, if you don't take a dare."

      "You dare me?"

      "I do."

      "Philip," she said, hesitating, adorable in her embarrassment. "No! No! No! I can't do it that way in cold blood. It's got to be 'Captain Selwyn'. . . for a while, anyway. . . . Good-night."

      He took her outstretched hand, laughing; the usual little friendly shake followed; then she turned gaily away, leaving him standing before the whitening ashes.

      He thought the fire was dead; but when he turned out the lamp an hour СКАЧАТЬ