Ship's Company, the Entire Collection. William Wymark Jacobs

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ did. I talked to that man for an hour and a’arf, and when I ‘ad finished he said he didn’t want that kind of advice at all. Wot ‘e wanted was for me to tell ‘im ‘ow to get rid of Miss Lamb and marry Mrs. Plimmer without anybody being offended or having their feelings hurt.

      “Mrs. Plimmer came down to the ship the very next evening. Fine-looking woman she was, and, wot with ‘er watch and chain and di’mond rings and brooches and such-like, I should think she must ‘ave ‘ad five or six pounds’ worth of jewell’ry on ‘er. She gave me a very pleasant smile, and I gave ‘er one back, and we stood chatting there like old friends till at last she tore ‘erself away and went on board the ship.

      “She came off by and by hanging on Cap’n Tarbell’s arm. The cap’n was dressed up in ‘is Sunday clothes, with one of the cleanest collars on I ‘ave ever seen in my life, and smoking a cigar that smelt like an escape of gas. He came back alone at ha’past eleven that night, and ‘e told me that if it wasn’t for the other one down Shoremouth way he should be the ‘appiest man on earth.

      “‘Mrs. Plimmer’s only got one fault,’ he ses, shaking his ‘cad, ‘and that’s jealousy. If she got to know of Laura Lamb, it would be all U.P. It makes me go cold all over when I think of it. The only thing is to get married as quick as I can; then she can’t help ‘erself.’

      “‘It wouldn’t prevent the other one making a fuss, though,’ I ses.

      “‘No,’ he ses, very thoughtfully, ‘it wouldn’t. I shall ‘ave to do something there, but wot, I don’t know.’

      “He climbed on board like a man with a load on his mind, and arter a look at the sky went below and forgot both ‘is troubles in sleep.

      “Mrs. Plimmer came down to the wharf every time the ship was up, arter that. Sometimes she’d spend the evening aboard, and sometimes they’d go off and spend it somewhere else. She ‘ad a fancy for the cabin, I think, and the cap’n told me that she ‘ad said when they were married she was going to sail with ‘im sometimes.

      “‘But it ain’t for six months yet,’ he ses, ‘and a lot o’ things might ‘appen to the other one in that time, with luck.’

      “It was just about a month arter that that ‘e came to me one evening trembling all over. I ‘ad just come on dooty, and afore I could ask ‘im wot was the matter he ‘ad got me in the ‘Bull’s Head’ and stood me three ‘arf-pints, one arter the other.

      “‘I’m ruined,’ he ses in a ‘usky whisper; ‘I’m done for. Why was wimmen made? Wot good are they? Fancy ‘ow bright and ‘appy we should all be without ‘em.’

      “‘I started to p’int out one or two things to ‘im that he seemed to ‘ave forgot, but ‘e wouldn’t listen. He was so excited that he didn’t seem to know wot ‘e was doing, and arter he ‘ad got three more ‘arf-pints waiting for me, all in a row on the counter, I ‘ad to ask ‘im whether he thought I was there to do conjuring tricks, or wot?’

      “‘There was a letter waiting for me in the office,’ he ses. ‘From Miss Lamb—she’s in London. She’s coming to pay me a surprise visit this evening—I know who’ll get the surprise. Mrs. Plimmer’s coming too.’

      “I gave ‘im one of my ‘arf-pints and made ‘im drink it. He chucked the pot on the floor when he ‘ad done, in a desprit sort o’ way, and ‘im and the landlord ‘ad a little breeze then that did ‘im more good than wot the beer ‘ad. When we came outside ‘e seemed more contented with ‘imself, but he shook his ‘ead and got miserable as soon as we got to the wharf agin.

      “‘S’pose they both come along at the same time,’ he ses. ‘Wot’s to be done?’

      “I shut the gate with a bang and fastened the wicket. Then I turned to ‘im with a smile.

      “‘I’m watchman ‘ere,’ I ses, ‘and I lets in who I thinks I will. This ain’t a public ‘ighway,’ I ses; ‘it’s a wharf.’

      “‘Bill,’ he ses, ‘you’re a genius.’

      “‘If Miss Lamb comes ‘ere asking arter you,’ I ses, ‘I shall say you’ve gone out for the evening.’

      “‘Wot about her letter?’ he ses.

      “‘You didn’t ‘ave it,’ I ses, winking at ‘im.

      “‘And suppose she waits about outside for me, and Mrs. Plimmer wants me to take ‘er out?’ he ses, shivering. ‘She’s a fearful obstinate woman; and she’d wait a week for me.’

      “He kept peeping up the road while we talked it over, and then we both see Mrs. Plimmer coming along. He backed on to the wharf and pulled out ‘is purse.

      “‘Bill,’ he ses, gabbling as fast as ‘e could gabble, ‘here’s five or six shillings. If the other one comes and won’t go away tell ‘er I’ve gone to the Pagoda Music-’all and you’ll take ‘er to me, keep ‘er out all the evening some’ow, if you can, if she comes back too soon keep ‘er in the office.’

      “‘And wot about leaving the wharf and my dooty?’ I ses, staring.

      “‘I’ll put Joe on to keep watch for you,’ he ses, pressing the money in my ‘and. ‘I rely on you, Bill, and I’ll never forget you. You won’t lose by it, trust me.’

      “He nipped off and tumbled aboard the ship afore I could say a word. I just stood there staring arter ‘im and feeling the money, and afore I could make up my mind Mrs. Plimmer came up.

      “I thought I should never ha’ got rid of ‘er. She stood there chatting and smiling, and seemed to forget all about the cap’n, and every moment I was afraid that the other one might come up. At last she went off, looking behind ‘er, to the ship, and then I went outside and put my back up agin the gate and waited.

      “I ‘ad hardly been there ten minutes afore the other one came along. I saw ‘er stop and speak to a policeman, and then she came straight over to me.

      “‘I want to see Cap’n Tarbell,’ she ses.

      “‘Cap’n Tarbell?’ I ses, very slow; ‘Cap’n Tarbell ‘as gone off for the evening.’

      “‘Gone off!’ she ses, staring. ‘But he can’t ‘ave. Are you sure?’

      “‘Sartain,’ I ses. Then I ‘ad a bright idea. ‘And there’s a letter come for ‘im,’ I ses.

      “‘Oh, dear!’ she ses. ‘And I thought it would be in plenty of time. Well, I must go on the ship and wait for ‘im, I suppose.’

      “If I ‘ad only let ‘er go I should ha’ saved myself a lot o’ trouble, and the man wot deserved it would ha’ got it. Instead o’ that I told ‘er about the music-’all, and arter carrying on like a silly gal o’ seventeen and saying she couldn’t think of it, she gave way and said she’d go with me to find ‘im. I was all right so far as clothes went as it happened. Mrs. Plimmer said once that I got more and more dressy every time she saw me, and my missis ‘ad said the same thing only in a different way. I just took a peep through the wicket and saw that Joe ‘ad taken up my dooty, and then we set off.

      “I said I wasn’t quite sure which one he’d gone to, but we’d try the Pagoda Music-’all СКАЧАТЬ