More Short Stories to Read on a Bus, a Car, a Train, a Plane (or a comfy chair anywhere). Colin Palmer
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СКАЧАТЬ nose runs. The Larp arrived before they finished their soups, LarB Larb, Larb they chorused loudly to other non-amused customers. Larp is served in a lettuce leaf and smells like heaven, even after the addictive aroma of the Tom Yum, it was something else again. They all plunged in, eating with their hands and even Jerry had to admit, it was firey-hot, but no-way was he going to admit it to the other pair. Firey-hot yes, delicious, a big yes! Tom’s sweat was making it hard to see as it ran down over his eyes, Eve felt like she was swimming in her nose runs. But oh, this food was so delectable.

      Tom advised them to enjoy because next up was just a salad, which would naturally cool their palettes. The Thai Beef Salad arrived. This dish topped the first two, the aroma so tantalising they forgot their burning mouths, their beer filled heaving stomachs, their sweat and runny noses and they enthusiastically dove in, the sweet, salty, spicy beef melting on their tongues and even though none were hungry anymore, driving them on to eat more, more, more! They ate the salad, slammed it down followed by more beer and Eve was the first to go. She tipped the last of her beer down her throat, looked at Tom and Jerry and her eyes seemed to pop out of her head like a cartoon character, then her head fell face first straight into the plate in front of her. Jerry laughed out loud, he too suffering the sweats and a burning mouth but nothing more. He looked at Tom expecting to see him guffawing at the unfortunate Eve but instead, Tom’s head was wobbling like a dashboard mascot. The sweat running off him had soaked his shirt and created a sheen over his face that looked like varnish. His head too plummeted face first into the table but without the bellylaughing eye pops! Jerry did laugh though, what a night it had been and they would all be able to laugh together tomorrow and evermore about their calamitous day.

      The waitress approached, she looked concerned. She had been concerned from the beginning when they began heavily drinking and now it was even worse. She looked at the laughing man, his face red and sweaty but he just looked drunk. She went to the woman first and gently touched her neck, feeling, hoping, praying for a pulse. There was none. The man beside her looked white and sickly but she thought she could see some slight movement but a similar check also discovered no pulse. She looked at the laughing man again, her eyes full of grief and anger.

      “Why you tell me on telephone you all love very hot food, why you do this, why, you stupid, stupid man?” She ran off toward the phone and Jerry just kept laughing.

      ============== THE END ================

      W157 You or your best friend will survive – but not both

      BACHELOR PARTY

      “Fool.”

      “Asshole.”

      “Dickwad.”

      “Moron.”

      “Fu.. God’s sake, stop it!”

      “Sure, pussy!”

      Brandon and Lee. Friends since, well since God was a boy! They were virtually inseparable after first meeting at kindergarten a million years ago it seemed to their long suffering parents and respective siblings. Never had the boys, now men, ever done an individual thing without the other, except for the obligatory responsibilities as members of different families but even then, on many occasions one or the other had managed to accompany his mate and their family to a boring visit at Aunt Edith’s (she of the unknown and spectacularly bad culinary ability) or a picnic in the field adjacent to the retirement home where Great Uncle Fred was pining away the last of his days. Friends for life. They even established their own business together, now a successful construction company, B&L Enterprises. The success in business, long term comradeship and life in general they both put down to the rock solid foundation of their love and support for each other as friends.

      Lee had a steady girlfriend, Brandon was into experiencing life and every opportunity that came knocking, especially when it came to girls. It came as a surprise when Lee announced he had proposed to Leigh, his girlfriend, surprise to family and friends but more like shock for Brandon. He accepted that Lee and Leigh were made for each other and she even accepted that Lee spent almost more time with Brandon than he did at home with her. Brandon firmly believed that marriage or not, he and Lee would continue to live their lives as they always had. Friends, inseparable, together, forever.

      Everybody knew Lee was the intelligent one of the duo, Brandon the knock-about, the handyman, the jack-of-all-trades and the one most likely to do something impulsive. Another surprise for all was when Lee further announced that he and Brandon would be going away for a camping weekend to a remote mountain lake, just the two of them, and he saw it as being his Bachelor Party. Everybody looked at Brandon believing this was his idea, had to be, but it was plain to even the ardent believer from the look of complete and utter shock on his face that Brandon had known nothing about the idea until this very moment. Surprise was replaced with awe, then exhilaration as he jumped up and grabbed his friend in a savage bear hug. All the guests smiled, happy for the two of them, even Leigh.

      Brandon’s family had been concerned about him after the wedding announcement but as Brandon himself had demonstrated and voiced on numerous occasions, he was just happy for his friend, and as long as Lee was happy then so was Brandon. At times though, his brother and sister had seen the long face when Brandon had been sitting by himself believing he was not being observed. The pair worried about this and brought it to the attention of firstly Brandon who dismissed them as being “silly-billys”, then to their parents who advised them to leave well enough alone.

      The big weekend finally arrived, faster than Brandon thought but they had been very busy with the wedding arrangement for the following weekend so the camping bachelor party weekend had crept up on him. After Lee had missed the turn-off, an ensuing and very normal and natural war of words had followed which, as usual, Brandon won.

      “Sure pussy!” He repeated.

      Lee ignored him. “You got cell coverage?” He reached and tapped at his dash mounted phone.

      “Nope. Do we need it?”

      “Nah, just told Leigh I would call when we arrived safely is all.”

      “No worries, should get some kind of service as we climb, as long as this lake of yours isn’t tucked into some little valley or something.”

      “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

      “How’d you know about this place anyhow?” Brandon was frowning and thinking whatever Lee knew, he knew too. Until now anyway.

      Lee threw him a glance. “Remember Rogers, that idjut contract to build a bunch of cabins in the woods?” He saw Brandon nod and went on. “This is it.”

      “Hey? But we didn’t take that contract.”

      “No, I palmed it off sideways to Jeffrey’s, they did it, finished it up about a month ago and Jeff himself came around one night and gave me a key to the place. As a thank you for the job you know. Told me the official handover was at the end of the month and we should duck up here for a look before then … outstanding he described it.”

      “Cool, can’t wait then. How far now?”

      “Should only be a few more minutes, the road turns into a bit of a forest track but Jeff says it’s good all the way to the camp.”

      “Cool,” Brandon repeated and reclined a little more in his seat, relaxed and more than looking forward to this little adventure.

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