Work with Me. Dowling Simon

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      Do these scenarios sound familiar? Have you experienced something similar in your own organisation?

      In each of the above examples, what started out as an idea, ripe with potential, ended up becoming a problem that failed to achieve buy-in. And the cost? Large amounts of money being spent trying to bring projects to life that were doomed to failure – or to rescue them from the clutches of defeat. Add to that the lost value of the failed opportunity, and you already have a pretty hefty price tag.

      The costs continue to add up, including the strain on people's time, energy and relationships, as they battle into various stages of resistance. This dampens everyone's morale and causes disengagement, resulting in a learned helplessness that eventually has people shrugging their shoulders and saying, ‘What's the point? No one will listen, so I may as well just stop trying.’ People disengage, resign or – worse still – hang around giving off one hell of a bad vibe.

      Change doesn't happen in the executive boardroom, as all of these examples show. It happens on the frontline of an organisation and involves a number of people, from board members to employees. Without buy-in from all of those involved, you're hammering a round peg into a square hole.

      What is buy-in really?

      For those who can win buy-in to their ideas and initiatives, the world is their proverbial oyster. But to understand how to build buy-in you first have to look at what buy-in is and what it is not.

      The online Cambridge English Dictionary defines buy-in as ‘the fact of agreeing and accepting something that someone suggests’. But that's not enough.

      True buy-in requires willing and enthusiastic commitment. Creating buy-in is about building a genuinely voluntary choice, getting people to the place where they say ‘Yes!’ not because they have to, but because they want to.

      Real buy-in goes much further than achieving compliance or conformity. It's the ultimate form of influence. It creates intellectual and emotional alignment between two or more people. It wins a share of someone's devotion, of their passion and energy. If you want others' creativity, engagement, participation, advocacy and championship then you need to affect them under the surface, through their skin.

      To get to this holy place, there can be no tricks of the mind, no manipulation, no threats, no forced hands and no hypnosis. These moves may sometimes work to influence people to act in the way you want them to act, but if it's genuine buy-in you seek, then people will subscribe to that only when they choose to and feel it's safe to do so.

      Here's a simple example we can all relate to (whether parents or not):

      Dad: Sam, have you cleaned up your room yet?

      Sam: Yes.

      Dad: [After a quick look into his room] That's not clean, Sam. Please go and tidy up your room as I asked.

      Sam: After.

      Dad: No, now please. [Sam does nothing.] Sam, you've got five seconds to go in there and start cleaning up your room or you won't be going to the park with us after lunch. Five … four … three … two … [Sam runs to his room.]

      Do you think Dad is winning? Perhaps. Until a few minutes later, when he walks into Sam's room to discover him sitting on the floor playing with his toys.

      Dad: Sam, that's not tidying up! You're playing! That's it, no park for you!

      Sam starts crying.

      Consider what happens when Mum enters the room.

      Mum: Sam, why do you think Daddy wants you to tidy up your room?

      Sam: Because he's bossy.

      Mum: Yes, Daddy is bossy sometimes. But I don't think that's why he wants you to tidy up. Can you think why he thinks it's so important?

      Sam: So I don't step on my toys and break them?

      Mum: That's a great reason. Do you think that's important?

      Sam: Yes, but Mum I don't like tidying up.

      Mum: Me neither. But if we do it fast then maybe we can go to the park sooner. What do you reckon, should we see how fast you can tidy it up and how quickly we can get to the park?

      Sam: Okay. Can we take the soccer ball?

      Mum: That's a great idea. Let's get that room done first, shall we?

      Sam: I'm going to be fast … like the Flash …

      In this scenario, Dad could easily be a manager, and Sam his team member. Dad attempts to influence Sam by relying on his authority, his implicit right to call the shots, but let's call a spade a spade: it's coercion. Sam's not impressed.

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www.theaustralian.com.au/business/aviation/m-qantas-parts-system-flop/story-e6frg95x-1111113142401

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