Tony Butler. Lever Charles James

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      “Never at any public school?”

      “Never, except you call a village school a public one.”

      Brand’s eyes glistened, and Baynes’s returned the sparkle.

      “Are you a proficient in French?”

      “Far from it. I could spell out a fable, or a page of ‘Telemachus,’ and even that would push me hard.”

      “Do you write a good hand?”

      “It is legible, but it’s no beauty.”

      “And your arithmetic?”

      “Pretty much like my French, – the less said about it the better.”

      “I think that will do, Brand,” whispered Baynes.

      The other nodded, and muttered, “Of course; and it is the best way to do it.”

      “These are the points, Mr. Butler,” he continued, giving him a printed paper, “on which you will have to satisfy the Civil Service Commissioners; they are, as you see, not very numerous nor very difficult. A certificate as to general conduct and character – British subject – some knowledge of foreign languages – the first four rules of arithmetic – and that you are able to ride – ”

      “Thank Heaven, there is one thing I can do; and if you ask the Commissioners to take a cast ‘cross country, I ‘ll promise them a breather.”

      Tony never noticed – nor, had he noticed, had he cared for – the grave austerity of the heads of departments at this outburst of enthusiasm. He was too full of his own happiness, and too eager to share it with his mother.

      As he gained the street, Skeffington passed his arm through his, and walked along with him, offering him his cordial gratulations, and giving him many wise and prudent counsels, though unfortunately, from the state of ignorance of Tony’s mind, these latter were lamentably unprofitable. It was of “the Office” that he warned him, – of its tempers, its caprices, its rancors, and its jealousies, till, lost in the maze of his confusion, poor Tony began to regard it as a beast of ill-omened and savage passions, – a great monster, in fact, who lived on the bones and flesh of ardent and high-hearted youths, drying up the springs of their existence, and exhausting their brains out of mere malevolence. Out of all the farrago that he listened to, all that he could collect was, “that he was one of those fellows that the chiefs always hated and invariably crushed.” Why destiny should have marked him out for such odium – why he was born to be strangled by red tape, Tony could not guess, nor, to say truth, did he trouble himself to inquire; but, resisting a pressing invitation to dine with Skeffington at his club, he hastened to his room to write his good news to his mother.

      “Think of my good fortune, dearest little mother,” he wrote. “I have got a place, and such a place! You ‘d fancy it was made for me, for I have neither to talk nor to think nor to read nor to write, – all my requirements are joints that will bear bumping, and a head that will stand the racket of railroad and steamboat without any sense of confusion, beyond what nature implanted there. Was he not a wise Minister who named me to a post where bones are better than brains, and a good digestion superior to intellect? I am to be a messenger, – a Foreign Service Messenger is the grand title, – a creature to go over the whole globe with a white leather bag or two, full of mischief or gossip, as it may be, and whose whole care is to consist in keeping his time, and beins never out of health.

      “They say in America the bears were made for Colonel Crocket’s dog, and I ‘m sure these places were made for fellows of my stamp, – fellows to carry a message, and yet not intrusted with the telling it.

      “The pay is capital, the position good, – that is, three fourths of the men are as good or better than myself; and the life, all tell me, is rare fun, – you go everywhere, see everything, and think of nothing. In all your dreams for me, you never fancied the like of this. They talk of places for all sorts of capacities, but imagine a berth for one of no capacity at all! And yet, mother dear, they have made a blunder, – and a very absurd blunder too, and no small one! they have instituted a test – a sort of examination – for a career that ought to be tested by a round with the boxing-gloves, or a sharp canter over a course with some four-feet hurdles!

      “I am to be examined, in about six weeks from this, in some foreign tongues, multiplication, and the state of my muscles. I am to show proof that I was born of white parents, and am not too young or too old to go alone of a message. There’s the whole of it. It ain’t much, but it is quite enough to frighten one, and I go about with the verb avoir in my head, and the first four rules of arithmetic dance round me like so many furies. What a month of work and drudgery there is before you, little woman! You ‘ll have to coach me through my declensions and subtractions. If you don’t fag, you ‘ll be plucked, for, as for me, I’ll only be your representative whenever I go in. Look up your grammar, then, and your history too, for they plucked a man the other day that said Piccolomini was not a general, but a little girl that sang in the ‘Traviata’! I ‘d start by the mail this evening, but that I have to go up to the Office – no end of a chilling place – for my examination papers, and to be tested by the doctor that I am all right, thews and sinews; but I ‘ll get away by the afternoon, right glad to leave all this turmoil and confusion, the very noise of which makes me quarrelsome and ill-tempered.

      “There is such a good fellow here, Skeffington, – the Honorable Skeffington Darner, to speak of him more formally, – who has been most kind to me. He is private secretary to Sir Harry, and told me all manner of things about the Government offices, and the Dons that rule them. If I was a clever or a sharp fellow, I suppose this would have done me infinite service; but, as old Dr. Kinward says, it was only ‘putting the wine in a cracked bottle;’ and all I can remember is the kindness that dictated the attention.

      “Skeff is some relation – I forget what – to old Mrs. Maxwell of Tilney, and, like all the world, expects to be her heir. He talks of coming over to see her when he gets his leave, and said – God forgive him for it – that he ‘d run down and pass a day with us. I could n’t say ‘Don’t,’ and I had not heart to say ‘Do!’ I had not the courage to tell him frankly that we lived in a cabin with four rooms and a kitchen, and that butler, cook, footman, and housemaid were all represented by a barefooted lassie, who was far more at home drawing a fishing-net than in cooking its contents. I was just snob enough to say, ‘Tell us when we may look out for you;’ and without manliness to add, ‘And I ‘ll run away when I hear it.’ But he ‘s a rare good fellow, and teases me every day to dine with him at the Arthur, – a club where all the young swells of the Government offices assemble to talk of themselves, and sneer at their official superiors.

      “I ‘ll go out, if I can, and see Dolly before I leave, though she told me that the family did n’t like her having friends, – the flunkeys called them followers, – and of course I ought not to do what would make her uncomfortable; still, one minute or two would suffice to get me some message to bring the doctor, who ‘ll naturally expect it I’d like, besides, to tell Dolly of my good fortune, – though it is, perhaps, not a very graceful thing to be full of one’s own success to another, whose position is so painful as hers, poor girl. If you saw how pale she has grown, and how thin; even her voice has lost that jolly ring it had, and is now weak and poor. She seems so much afraid – of what or whom I can’t make out – but all about her bespeaks terror. You say very little of the Abbey, and I am always thinking of it. The great big world, and this great big city that is its capital, are very small things to me, compared to that little circle that could be swept by a compass, with a centre at the Burnside, and a leg of ten miles long, that would take in the Abbey and the salmon-weir, the rabbit-warren СКАЧАТЬ