Odd Numbers. Ford Sewell

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СКАЧАТЬ Daggett tiptoes up she’s pattin’ down some of the red puffs that makes the back of her head look like a burnin’ oil tank, and she swings around languid and scornful to see who it is that dares butt in on her presence. All the way she recognizes him is by a little lift of the eyebrows.

      I don’t need to hear the dialogue. I can tell by her expression what Daggett is saying. First there’s a kind of condescendin’ curiosity as he begins, then she looks bored and turns back to the mirror, and pretty soon she sings out, “What’s that?” so you could hear her all over the shop. Then Daggett springs his proposition flat.

      “Sir!” says she, jumpin’ up and glarin’ at him.

      Daggett tries to soothe her down; but it’s no go.

      “Mr. Heinmuller!” she calls out, and the boss barber comes steppin’ over, leavin’ a customer with his face muffled in a hot towel. “This person,” she goes on, “is insulting!”

      “Hey?” says Heinmuller, puffin’ out his cheeks. “Vos iss dot?”

      And for a minute it looked like I’d have to jump in and save Daggett from being chucked through the window. I was just preparin’ to grab the boss by the collar, too, when Daggett gets in his fine work. Slippin’ a ten off his roll, he passes it to Heinmuller, while he explains that all he asked of the lady was to try on a hat he was thinkin’ of gettin’ for his wife.

      “That’s all,” says he. “No insult intended. And of course I expect to make it worth while for the young lady.”

      I don’t know whether it was the smooth “young lady” business, or the sight of the fat roll that turned the trick; but the tragedy is declared off. Inside of three minutes the boss tells Daggett that Miss Rooney accepts his apology and consents to go if he’ll call a cab.

      “Why, surely,” says he. “You’ll come along, too, won’t you, McCabe? Honest, now, I wouldn’t dare do this alone.”

      “Too bad about that shy, retirin’ disposition of yours!” says I. “Afraid she’ll steal you, eh?”

      But he hangs onto my sleeve and coaxes me until I give in. And we sure made a fine trio ridin’ up Fifth-ave. in a taxi! But you should have seen ’em in the millinery shop as we sails in with Miss Rooney, and Daggett says how he’d like a view of that heliotrope lid in the window. We had ’em guessin’, all right.

      Then they gets Miss Rooney in a chair before the mirror, and fits the monstrosity on top of her red hair. Well, say, what a diff’rence it does make in them freak bonnets whether they’re in a box or on the right head! For Miss Rooney has got just the right kind of a face that hat was built to go with. It’s a bit giddy, I’ll admit; but she’s a stunner in it. And does she notice it any herself? Well, some!

      “A triumph!” gurgles the saleslady, lookin’ from one to the other of us, tryin’ to figure out who she ought to play to.

      “It’s a game combination, all right,” says I, lookin’ wise.

      “I only wish – ” begins Daggett, and then swallows the rest of it. In a minute he steps up and says it’ll do, and that the young lady is to pick out one for herself now.

      “Oh, how perfectly sweet of you!” says Miss Rooney, slippin’ him a smile that should have had him clear through the ropes. “But if I am to have any, why not this?” and she balances the heliotrope lid on her fingers, lookin’ it over yearnin’ and tender. “It just suits me, doesn’t it?”

      Then there’s more of the coy business, aimed straight at Daggett. But Miss Rooney don’t quite put it across.

      “That’s going out to Iowy with me,” says he, prompt and decided.

      “Oh!” says Miss Rooney, and she proceeds to pick out a white straw with a green ostrich feather a yard long. She was still lookin’ puzzled, though, as we put her into the cab and started her back to the barber shop.

      “Must have set you back near a hundred, didn’t they?” says I, as Daggett and I parts on the corner.

      “Almost,” says he. “But it’s worth it. Marthy would have looked mighty stylish in that purple one. Yes, yes! And when I get back to South Forks, the first thing I do will be to carry it up on the knoll, box and all, and leave it there. I wonder if she’ll know, eh?”

      There wa’n’t any use in my tellin’ him what I thought, though. He wa’n’t talkin’ to me, anyway. There was a kind of a far off, batty look in his eyes as he stood there on the corner, and a drop of brine was tricklin’ down one side of his nose. So we never says a word, but just shakes hands, him goin’ his way, and me mine.

      “Chee!” says Swifty Joe, when I shows up, along about three o’clock, “you must have been puttin’ away a hearty lunch!”

      “It wa’n’t that kept me,” says I. “I was helpin’ hand a late one to Marthy.”

      CHAPTER II

      HOW MAIZIE CAME THROUGH

      Then again, there’s other kinds from other States, and no two of ’em alike. They float in from all quarters, some on ten-day excursions, and some with no return ticket. And, of course, they’re all jokes to us at first, while we never suspicion that all along we may be jokes to them.

      And say, between you and me, we’re apt to think, ain’t we, that all the rapid motion in the world gets its start right here in New York? Well, that’s the wrong dope. For instance, once I got next to a super-energized specimen that come in from the north end of nowhere, and before I was through the experience had left me out of breath.

      It was while Sadie and me was livin’ at the Perzazzer hotel, before we moved out to Rockhurst-on-the-Sound. Early one evenin’ we was sittin’, as quiet and domestic as you please, in our twelve by fourteen cabinet finished dinin’ room on the seventh floor. We was gazin’ out of the open windows watchin’ a thunder storm meander over towards Long Island, and Tidson was just servin’ the demitasses, when there’s a ring on the ’phone. Tidson, he puts down the tray and answers the call.

      “It’s from the office, sir,” says he. “Some one to see you, sir.”

      “Me?” says I. “Get a description, Tidson, so I’ll know what to expect.”

      At that he asks the room clerk for details, and reports that it’s two young ladies by the name of Blickens.

      “What!” says Sadie, prickin’ up her ears. “You don’t know any young women of that name; do you, Shorty?”

      “Why not?” says I. “How can I tell until I’ve looked ’em over?”

      “Humph!” says she. “Blickens!”

      “Sounds nice, don’t it?” says I. “Kind of snappy and interestin’. Maybe I’d better go down and – ”

      “Tidson,” says Sadie, “tell them to send those young persons up here!”

      “That’s right, Tidson,” says I. “Don’t mind anything I say.”

      “Blickens, indeed!” says Sadie, eyin’ me sharp, to see if I’m blushin’ or gettin’ nervous. “I never heard you mention any such name.”

      “There’s a few СКАЧАТЬ