Single Life. Buckstone John Baldwin

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СКАЧАТЬ but now I am at an age to judge for myself, your interference in my affairs is very officious; and, in future, sir, I shall do as I like, marry if I like, drown myself if I like, and if I do the latter thing, sir, I shall consider it an act of impertinence if you jump into any pond, in any place, and under any circumstances, after me. There, sir.

[Exit at the back, in a violent passion.

      Miss Sky. His indignation is very suspicious.

      Miss Sna. Very indeed!

      Dam. He certainly is about to marry that woman.

      Boss. I should regret it exceedingly if he were.

       Miss Sna. We ought really to tell him what we have heard, and break off the match.

      Miss Sky. Let us first be assured that one is about to be made. Search the room, perhaps we may discover something that may confirm our suspicions. Miss Snare, you examine his books, and the drawers of his table; Boss peep about in the corners; Damper, go up stairs and cross-examine him; I’ll rummage the sideboard. (Opens sideboard cupboard.) Oh! what’s here?

      All. What?

      Miss Sky. Oho! a wedding-cake and cards. (Takes out cake and cards.)

      Dam. A wedding-cake!

      Miss Sna. And cards too!

      Miss Sky. (Holding them out and singing.)

      “A bridal wreath we weave for thee,

      Of every flower the fairest.”

      Dam. (Taking them from her.) Connubial cards linked together by little bits of silver cord. (Reading.) “Mr. John Niggle, Mrs. John Niggle.”

      Miss Sky. (Placing cake on sideboard and taking a packet of cards from the cupboard.) Here they are, dozens upon dozens of them; the lady’s card the largest, as a broad hint that she means to be paramount.

      Miss Sna. Can it be? Is it a fact? (Taking a pair of cards.) It is, indeed, true; and if he is not already married, he will be so very soon. I couldn’t have thought it, after – after —(Bursts into tears.)

      Miss Sky. Miss Snare, what’s the matter?

      Boss. It seems as if she had set her heart upon the gentleman herself.

      Dam. Hum! I am very happy to know that you, at least, are not the woman to whom he intends sacrificing himself; but I’ll discover the party, and if it should be Miss Coy, I’ll shoot him out of hand, rather than see him so duped. He sha’n’t marry I’m resolved. (Going out at the back and calling.) Niggle, Niggle, you fool, where are you?

[Exit.

      Miss Sky. Miss Snare, Miss Snare, pray don’t take the matter so much to heart.

      Miss Sna. Well, I hope he’ll be happy – I’m sure he will – such an excellent temper – such taste in all matters.

[BOSS comes down C.

      Boss. Except in dress. His coats seem to have been cut out with a knife and fork.

      Miss Sna. In elegance of costume, Mr. Boss, you completely bear away the palm.

      Boss. My taste in the matter, is, I flatter myself, perfect – indeed with me it is a furor.

       Miss Sky. Oh, sir, I am afraid you admire yourself too much, to bestow a thought of regard on one of us poor women.

      Boss. I shall never marry till I discover perfection.

      Miss Sky. You will find grey hairs hanging over your temples, before you obtain that object of your search.

      Boss. (C.) Then I’ll die a bachelor!

      Miss Sky. (C.) And, like the swan, sing your own elegy.

      Miss Sna. (L.) A young man of Mr. Boss’s figure, must in time strike those who would think it little trouble to conquer the faults of habit and nature, and make herself as near, what he may consider to be perfection, as possible.

      Boss. Why, yes, my figure I think is perfect – breadth of shoulders, smallness of waist, curve of back, flow of hip, and tolerable height, are the materiel that go towards forming a good figure, and which materiel, I flatter myself, I possess. (Crosses to L.)

      Miss Sna. (Ogling him.) In an eminent degree.

      Miss Sky. Oho! The old maid having been defeated in one matrimonial attack, is about to commence another.

      Boss. (Aside.) I’ll be hanged, but Miss Snare is a woman of taste.

[DAMPER and NIGGLE heard without, C.D.

      Nig. I will not allow such a liberty: let me go, sir, let me go.

      Dam. Not without me.

Enter NIGGLE and DAMPER, C.D

      Dam. It’s all true, he is going to be married; the lady is now waiting for him in a bye lane, in a post-chaise. One comfort, ’tis now ten minutes past his appointed time.

      Nig. I shall lose my temper. I will not be interfered with any longer – lies and slander I defy. I have lived fifty-five years in the world, longing since boyhood for the delights of matrimony; never before has my resolution been so fixed as it is now, and married I will be, in spite of the world. I will not be shut out from the cordialities of life.

      Dam. You shall not make a fool of yourself.

      Nig. I will. I will not trifle any longer with happiness now it is within my grasp. Let me go, sir, or I’ll knock you down. Let me go.

[Breaks from him and runs off, F.E.L.; DAMPER buttoning up his coat.

      Dam. He sha’n’t escape, I’ll follow him if it’s to Africa.

[Exit F.E.L.

       Miss Sky. Ha! ha! ha! the hunt is up – there they run – there (Looks from window.) they run. Now Niggle, now Damper. Look at the heart stirring-chase, (Singing.)

      “With a heigho! chevy;

      Hark! forward, hark! forward, tantivy.

      With a heigho! chevy;

      Hark! forward, hark! forward, tantivy.

      Hark! forward, hark! forward,

      Hark! forward, &c.

      Yoicks!

      Arise the burthen of my song;

      This day a stag must die!”

[Exit, F.E.L.

      Miss Sna. What a strange turn in affairs, and what a singular lady is that Miss Skylark.

      Boss. How does she get on with her bashful beau, Pinkey?

      Miss Sna. Nothing decided yet, she tells me. He still continues writing the most glowing letters that ever were penned. I am to see a few of them shortly; but when the poor fellow is in her presence, he can scarcely utter a word, and though he has СКАЧАТЬ