Fritz to the Front, or, the Ventriloquist Scamp-Hunter. Wheeler Edward Lytton

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СКАЧАТЬ ven a veller vas hungry."

      "What! how dare you, sir! I'll have you arrested for carrying concealed weapons, you scamp!"

      "Den I haff you arrested vor causing cannibalism, py not giffin' a veller somedings to eat. Come, now, mister; yoost set oud der vittles und der von't pe no droubles; otherwise, der may be an exposure off somedings!"

      The farmer started at Fritz's unmeaning declaration, and giving him a swift, startled glance, arose and entered the house.

      Fritz noticed what effect his thoughtless shot had had, and gave vent to a low, peculiar whistle, denotive of surprise.

      "Hello! vot ish dose I've done?" he mused. "I give der old chap a sour grape, dot time, all of which proves dot he is 'fraid off der exposure off somedings, und don'd vas got a clear conscience. Vel, dot ish purdy goot, too. Von t'ing leads to anodder – mebbe I vil discover somedings else. Anyhow, I'm going to stay right here undil I gets somedings to eat, und I reckon der old man vil fetch or send id."

      Nor was he wrong in his reckoning, for shortly afterward a plump and pretty maid brought him out a tray of victuals that looked most tempting.

      There was bread and butter, cold meat, cake, pie, apples, and a bowl of rich milk. No wonder Fritz's eyes sparkled with satisfaction, as he sat down upon the carriage-block, and received the offering.

      "I thank you more ash a t'ousand times," he said. "Der old man didn't vas goin' to give me somedings, but I told him I would expose him, und dot fixed him. Vot's der old crab's name, young lady?"

      The girl stared.

      "Mr. Sample, do you mean?" she asked, in surprise.

      "Yes, I reckon dot's der one – der old vinegar-barrel vot yoost sot on der veranda. So his name vas Sample, eh? If he vas a sample off der neighbors around here, I dinks I stop no more. He vas got a segret, don'd he?"

      "How should I know, sir?"

      "Oh! vel, I didn't know but you might haff heard somedings."

      "If I had, I don't believe I should confess it to you," the maid retorted. "When you get through eating leave the server on the block."

      "But, hold on – you ain'd going?"

      "Yes."

      "But vait aw'ile! I say no. I vant to ask you some questions."

      "What?"

      "Vel, one t'ing – ish der a town somevere's near, on der coast?"

      "Yes, several."

      "Vot one is der nearest?"

      "Forsyth Landing."

      "Vot is der population?"

      "Four people."

      "Shimminy dunder! So mooch ash dot? Any old maids among der lot?"

      "Nary a maid!"

      "Vel, dot's all. Much obliged."

      After she had departed, Fritz finished his meal, and then resumed his tramp along the lonely beach.

      Half an hour brought him to the landing, but he did not pause.

      Two rough-looking old sea-dogs were lounging outside a sort of a hut, but their appearance did not inspire Fritz with any desire to cultivate their acquaintance.

      About sunset he arrived at a far prettier spot than he had yet encountered.

      A great bluff of land rolled up to an abrupt and precipitous ending at the ocean's edge.

      In high tide it would be impossible to walk along the beach at the base of the bluff, owing to the depth of water, while at low tide the beach was quite bare.

      The evening tide was rolling in close to the base of the cliff, when Fritz reached it, and so he paused and took a reconnoissance.

      Far up on the top of the bluff he saw a large, rambling, old house, in a grove of trees, but whether it was deserted or not, he could not tell.

      It looked so grim in the weird sunset light, and so isolated in its lone watch by the sea that one might easily have fancied it an abode of spooks, and their like.

      "I s'pect dot I'll haff to climb up und go around that bluff," Fritz muttered, not at all liking the idea. "Uff a veller vas to try und wade along der front, he'd like ash not get drowned, und dot vould pe a duyfel off a fix. I wonder ef der folks who lif up yonder ar' samples off dot Sample I met dis morning? Looks like ash uff it might be a ghost factory."

      He was considering what was best to do, when he felt a tap upon his shoulder, and wheeled about with a nervous start.

      Before him stood a ragged, frowsy-haired, bare-footed girl, some sixteen or seventeen years of age – a girl with a well-rounded figure of but medium stature, and a face at once peculiar and attractive, from the sparkle of its eyes, the broad grin of its mouth, and the amount of dirt gathered about it.

      She had evidently but recently emerged from the water, for her long black hair as well as her wet garments were dripping with drops which the dying sunlight transformed into diamonds.

      "Ha! ha! ha!" she laughed, putting her pretty arms akimbo, and staring hard at Fritz. "Don't I look silly, though?"

      "Vel, I don'd know apoud dot. I dink der abblication uff some water mit your face vould make you look petter ash vot you are now!" Fritz answered, somewhat puzzled.

      "Water! ha! ha! I just came out of the water. But oh! I'm so silly – that's what everybody says, and I guess it must be so; anyhow, they call me Silly Sue. Was you ever silly, boss?"

      "Vel, I don'd vas know so mooch apoud dot, vedder I vas or not," Fritz replied, with a doubtful grin. "Do I look silly?"

      "Oh! lordy! you are the silliest-looking goose I ever saw. I never saw a Yankee but what he was silly."

      "But I don'd vas be a Yankee!"

      "Get out! Don't dispute me! I know just who and what you are. You are Neptune, come up from the bottom of the sea."

      "You lie like dunder!" Fritz retorted, backing up, and beginning to get considerably alarmed, for he began to suspect that she was crazy. "I vasn't no Neptune at all – no von but Fritz Snyder. Id's a vonder you don'd call me Joner, vot swallered de valebone."

      "Nop! you're Neptune. Do you see the house up yonder?"

      "Vel, yes; vot off it?"

      "Oh! that's a high old roost. Ghosts and skeletons perch up there after dark and grin and rattle their bones at you. They don't do it to me, because I feed 'em snuff. Ha! ha! can you snuff the silly part of that outrageous gag? Say, boss, where you going, ef it ain't askin' too much?"

      "Vel, I don'd know dot myself."

      "Don't know where you're going?"

      "No; I vas huntin' vor somebody."

      "Oho! so am I! I was huntin' for some one, when I discovered something, and they called me silly because I refused to tell what. Well, good-day; swim over to England when you want to see me again."

      Then, СКАЧАТЬ