Dumps – A Plain Girl. Meade L. T.

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      “But tell me more about her,” he said.

      Then I related exactly what had happened. He was much amused, and after a time he said, with a laugh, “And so you got tea for her?”

      “Yes; she insisted on it. She wouldn’t let me off getting that tea for all the world. I didn’t mind it, of course – indeed, I quite enjoyed it – but what I did find hard was bringing up the hod of coal from the coal-cellar.”

      “Good practice, Dumps. Arms are made to be useful.”

      “So they are,” I answered. “And feet are made to run with.”

      “Of course, father.”

      “And a girl’s little brain is meant to keep a house comfortable.”

      “But, father, I haven’t such a little brain; and I think I could do something else.”

      “Could what?” said father, opening his eyes with horror. “What in the world is more necessary for a girl who is one day to be a woman than to know how to keep a house comfortable?”

      “Yes, yes,” I said; “I suppose so.”

      I was very easily stopped when father spoke in that high key.

      “And you have complained to me that you find life dull. Did you find Miss Grace Donnithorne dull?”

      “Oh no; she is very lively, father.”

      Father slowly crossed one large white hand over the other; then he rose.

      “Good-night, Dumps,” he said.

      “Have you nothing more to say?” I asked.

      “Good gracious, child! this is my night for school. I have to give two lectures to the boys of the First Form. Good-night – good-night.”

      He did not kiss me – he very seldom did that – but his voice had a very affectionate tone.

      After he had gone I sat for a long time by the fire. The neglected dinner-things remained on the table; the room was as shabby and as empty as possible, but not quite as cold as usual. Presently Hannah came in. She began to clear away the dinner-things.

      “Hannah,” I said, “I told father about Miss Grace Donnithorne’s visit.”

      “And who in the name of wonder may she be?” asked Hannah.

      “Oh, a lady. I let her in myself this afternoon.”

      “What call have you to be opening the hall door?”

      “Didn’t you hear a very sharp ring at the hall door about three o’clock?” I said.

      Hannah stood stock-still.

      “I did, and I didn’t,” she replied.

      “What do you mean by you did and you didn’t?”

      “Well, you see, child, I wasn’t in the humour to mount them stairs, so I turned my deaf ear to the bell and shut up my hearing one with cotton-wool; after that the bell might ring itself to death.”

      “Then, of course, Hannah, I had to go to the door.”

      “Had to? Young ladies don’t open hall doors.”

      “Anyhow, I did go to the door, and I let the lady in, and she sat by the fire. She’s a very nice lady indeed; she’s about your age, but not scraggy.”

      “I’ll thank you, Miss Dumps, not to call me names.”

      “But you are scraggy, for that means thin.”

      “I may be thin and genteel, and not fat and vulgar, but I won’t have it said of me that I’m scraggy,” said Hannah; “and by you too, Miss Dumps, of all people!”

      “Very well, Hannah. She was fat and vulgar, if you like, and you are thin and genteel. Anyhow, I liked her; she was very jolly. She was about your age.”

      “How d’you know what age I be?”

      “Didn’t I see father put it down at the time of the last census?”

      “My word! I never knew children were listening. I didn’t want my age known.”

      “Hannah, you are forty-five.”

      “And what if I be?”

      “That’s very old,” I said.

      “’Tain’t,” said Hannah.

      “It is,” I repeated. “I asked Alex one day, and he said it was the age when women began to drop off.”

      “Lawks! what does that mean?” said Hannah.

      “It’s the way he expressed it. I don’t want to frighten you, but he said lots of people died then.” Hannah now looked really scared.

      “And that’s why, Hannah,” I continued, “I don’t like to see you in your grandmother’s shawl, for I am so awfully afraid your bad cold will mean your dropping off.”

      “Master Alex talks nonsense,” said Hannah. “You give me a start for a minute with the sort of gibberish you talk. Forty-five, be I? Well, if I be, my grandmother lived to eighty, and my grandfather to ninety; and if I take after him – and they say I have a look of him – I have another good forty-five years to hang on, so there’s no fear of my dropping off for a bit longer.” As these remarks of Hannah’s were absolutely impossible for me to understand, I did not pursue the subject further, but I said, “Father made such a nice remark to-night!”

      “And whatever was that? The Professor is always chary of his talk.”

      “He said that it was very wrong to be cold, and that the fires ought to be large and good.”

      “He said that?”

      “Yes, he did. And then I said, ‘I thought you wanted us to be saving;’ and he said, ‘It’s not saving to catch cold and have doctors’ bills.’ So now, Hannah, you have your orders, and we must have a big, big fire in the parlour during the cold weather.”

      “Don’t bother me any longer,” said Hannah. “Your talk is beyond anything for childishness! What with trying to frighten a body in the prime of life about her deathbed, and then giving utterance to rubbish which you put into the lips of the Professor, it is beyond any sensible person to listen to. It’s cotton-wool I’ll put in my right ear the next time I come up to see you, Miss Dumps.”

      By this time Hannah had filled her tray. She raised it and walked towards the door. She then, with some skill and strength, placed the whole weight of the tray on her right arm, and with the left she opened the door. I have seen waiters in restaurants do that sort of trick, but I never could understand it. Even if Hannah was dropping off, she must have some strong muscles, was my reflection.

      The next day I went to school as usual. The fog had cleared and it was fairly bright – not very bright, for it never is in the city part of London in the winter months.

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