Название: The Angel of Pain
Автор: Benson Edward Frederic
Издательство: Public Domain
Жанр: Зарубежная классика
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Evelyn got up, looking out over the heat-hazed green of the woods below them with his brilliant glance.
“Is that very shocking?” he asked, with perfectly unassumed naïvetê.
“I suppose it is. Personally, I am never shocked at anything. But it seems to me very dangerous. You ought to wear a semaphore with a red lamp burning at the end of it.”
Evelyn half shut his eyes and put his head on one side.
“I don’t think that would compose well,” he said.
“That is most consistently spoken,” said Tom. “But really, if you are ever in earnest about anything beside your art, you would be a public danger.”
Evelyn turned round on this.
“You call me a Pagan,” he said. “Well, what are you, pray, with your communings with nature and conjuring tricks with nightingales? You belong to quite as early a form of man.”
“I know. I am primeval. At least I hope to be before I die.”
“What’s the object?”
“In order to see Pan. I am getting on. Come down to the New Forest sometime, and you shall see very odd things, I promise you. Really, Evelyn, I wish you would come. It would do you no end of good.”
He got up, and taking the arm of the other man, walked with him down the terrace.
“You are brilliant, I grant you,” he said; “but you are like a mirror, only reflecting things. What you want is to be lit from within. Who is it who talks of the royalty of inward happiness? That is such a true phrase. All happiness from without is not happiness at all; it is only pleasure. And pleasure is always imperfect. It flickers and goes out, it has scratching nails – ”
Evelyn shook himself free.
“Ah, let me be,” he said. “I don’t want anything else. Besides, as you have told me before, you yourself dislike and detest suffering or pain. But how can you hope to understand Nature at all if you leave all that aside? Why, man, the whole of Nature is one groan, one continuous preying of creature on creature. In your life in the New Forest you leave all that out.”
Tom Merivale paused.
“I know I do,” he said, “because I want to grasp first, once and for all the huge joy that pervades Nature, which seems to me much more vital in itself than pain. It seems to me that pain may be much more rightly called absence of joy than joy be called absence of pain. What the whole thing starts from, the essential spring of the world is not pain and death, but joy and life.”
“Ah, there I am with you. But there is so much joy and life on the surface of things that I don’t wish to probe down. Ah, Tom, a day like this now; woven webs of blue heat, hot scents from the flower beds, the faces of our friends. Is that not enough? It is for me. And, talking of faces, Miss Ellington has the most perfectly modelled face I ever saw. The more I look at it, the more it amazes me. I stared at her all breakfast. And the charm of it is its consistent irregularity; not a feature is anything like perfect, but what a whole! I wish I could do her portrait.”
Tom laughed.
“There would not be the slightest difficulty about that, I should say,” he remarked, “if you promise to present it to her mother.”
“Why, of course, I would. How funny it must feel to be hard like that. She is very bruising; I feel that I am being hit in the eye when she talks to me. And she knows how many shillings go to a sovereign.”
“Twenty,” remarked Tom.
“Ah, that is where you are wrong. She gets twenty-one for each of her sovereigns. And thirteen pence for each of her shillings, and the portrait of her daughter for nothing at all. Oh, Tom, think of it – with a background of something blue, cornflower, forget-me-nots, or lilac, to show how really golden her hair is. There’s Mrs. Home.”
Evelyn whistled with peculiar shrillness on his fingers to the neat little figure on the croquet lawn below them. She started, not violently, for nothing she did was violent, but very completely.
“Ah, it is only you,” she said. “I thought it might be an express train loose. Are you not going on the river, dear Evelyn?”
“I was prevented,” he said, jumping down the steps in one flying leap. “Dear Philippina – ”
“What next? What next?” murmured Mrs. Home. “Oh, do behave, Evelyn.”
“Well, Philip is your son, so you are Philippina. But why have prize-fighters in your house?”
“Prize-fighters?”
“Yes. Lady Ellington had my head in Chancery for ten minutes just now. She delivered a series of quick-firing questions. I know why, too; it was to prevent my going on the river. She was perfectly successful – I should think she always was successful; she mowed me down. Now will you tell me the truth or not?”
“No, dear Evelyn,” said Mrs. Home rather hastily, guessing what was coming.
“Then you are a very wicked woman; but as I now know you are going to tell an untruth, it will do just as well for my purpose. Now, is Philip engaged to Miss Ellington?”
“No, dear; indeed he is not,” said Mrs. Home.
“Oh, why not lie better than that?” said Evelyn.
Mrs. Home clasped her white, delicate little hands together.
“Ah, but it is true,” she said. “It really is literally true, as far as I know.”
Evelyn shook his head at her.
“But they have been gone half an hour,” he said. “You mean – I tell you, you mean that they may be now, for all you know.”
Mrs. Home turned her pretty, china-blue eyes on to him, with a sort of diminutive air of dignity.
“Of course you are at liberty to put any construction you please on anything I say,” she remarked.
“I am,” said he, “and I put that. Now, are you pleased at it?”
“She is charming,” said Mrs. Home, hopelessly off her guard.
“That is all I wanted to know,” said Evelyn. “But what a tangled web you weave, without deceiving me in the least, you old darling.”
Tom Merivale had not joined Evelyn, but strolled along the upper walk through herbaceous borders. He had not stayed away from his home now for the past year, and delighted though he was to see these two old friends of his again, he confessed to himself that he found the call on sociability which a visit tacitly implied rather trying. More than that, he found even the presence of other people in the house with whom he was not on terms of intimacy a thing a little upsetting, for his year of solitude had given some justification to his nickname. For solitude is a habit of extraordinary fascination, and very quick to grow on anyone who has sufficient interest in things not to be bored by the absence of people. And with Tom Merivale, Nature, the unfolding of flowers, the lighting of the stars in the sky, the white splendour of the moon, the hiss of the rain on to cowering shrubs and СКАЧАТЬ