The Punster's Pocket-book. Westmacott Charles Molloy

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СКАЧАТЬ href="#n7" type="note">7, and there

      Give longer life in laughing, than in air."

      But to come nearer home, and our own times; we know that France, in the late reign, was the seat of learning and policy; and what made it so, but the great encouragement the king gave punners above any other men: for it is too notorious, to quote any author for it, that Lewis le Grand gave a hundred pistoles for one single pun-motto, made upon an abbot, who died in a field, having a lily growing out of his a – :

      "Habe mortem præ oculis.

      Abbé mort en prez au culiz."

      Nor was his bounty less to Monsieur de Ferry de Lageltre the painter (though the pun and the picture turned against himself), who drew his majesty shooting, and at some distance from him another man aiming at the same fowl, who was withheld by a third person, pointing at the king, with these words from his mouth,

      "Ne voyez vous le Roy tirant?"

      Having now, from the best authorities, plainly proved the antiquity and excellence of the art of punning, nothing remains but to give some general directions as to the manner how this science is to be taught.

      1. Let the husband teach his wife to read it.

      2. Let her be appointed to teach her children.

      3. Let the head servant of the family instruct all the rest, and that every morning before the master and mistress are up.

      4. The masters and misses are to repeat a rule every day, with the examples; and every visiting-day be brought up, to show the company what fine memories they have.

      5. They must go ten times through the book, before they be allowed to aim at a pun.

      6. They must every day of their lives repeat six synonymous words, or words like in sound, before they be allowed to sit down to dinner, – such as

      Assent, Ascent.

      A Lass, Alas.

      Bark, Barque.

      Alter, Altar.

      A Peer, Appear.

      Barbery, Barberrie.

      They are all to be found in metre, most laboriously compiled by the learned author of "The English School-master," printed anno 1641, London edit. p. 52.

      7. If any eldest son has not a capacity to attain to this science, let him be disinherited as non-compos, and the estate given to the next hopeful child.

      – Si quid novisti rectius istis,

      Candidus imperti: si non, his utere mecum8.

      "If any man can better rules impart,

      I'll give him leave to do't with all my heart!"

APARAGRAPH OF THE FIRST PREFACETHAT WAS OMITTED,WHICH THE READER (ACCORDING TO HIS JUDGMENT OR DISCRETION) MAY INSERT WHERE HE PLEASES

      There is a remarkable passage in Petronius Arbiter, which plainly proves, by a royal example, that punning was a necessary ingredient to make an entertainment agreeable. The words are these: "Ingerebat nihilominus Trimalchio lentissima voce, Carpe. Ego, suspicatus ad aliquam urbanitatem toties iteratam vocem pertinere, non erubui eum qui supra me accumbebat hoc ipsum interrogare. At ille qui sæpius ejusmodi ludos spectaverat, Vides, inquit, illum qui obsonium carpit, Carpus vocatur. Itaque quotiescunque dicit Carpe, eodem verbo et vocat et imperat." And it is further remarkable, that every day of his life he made the same pun at dinner and supper.

A SECOND PREFACE

      Lest my modesty should be called in question, for venturing to appear in print, in an age so famous for politeness and ingenuity, I think I am bound to say this in my own defence, that these few sheets were not designed to be made public, as being written for my own private use: but what will not the importunity of friends conquer? they were no sooner discovered in my study, but my merry friend George Rochfort, my learned acquaintance Patrick Delany, and my much honoured patron Jonathan Swift, all unanimously agreed, that I should do my own reputation and the world that justice, as to send "such a treasure of knowledge" (as they were pleased to express themselves) to the press. As for the work itself, I may venture to say, it is a work of time and experience, and entirely unattempted before. For which reason, I hope the candid reader will be favourable in his judgment upon it, and consider that all sciences in their infancy have been weak and feeble. The next age may supply where I have been defective; and the next perhaps may produce a Sir Isaac in punning. We know that logicians first spun out reason in categories, predicaments, and enunciations; and at last they came to wind up their bottoms in syllogisms, which is the completing of that science.

      The Chaldeans began the mathematics, in which the Egyptians flourished. Then these, crossing the sea by the means of Thales the Milesian, came into Greece, where they were improved very much by Pythagoras, Anaxagoras, and Œnopides of Chios. These were followed by Briso, Antipho, Hippocrates, &c. But the excellence of the algebraic art was begun by Geber, an Arabian astronomer (whence as is conceived the word algebra took its rise), and was much since improved by Cardanus, Tartaglia, Clavius, Stevinus, Ghetaldus, Herigenius, Fran. Van Schooten, Florida de Beaune, &c.

      But to return to the Art of Punning again; the progress and improvement of which, I hope, will be equal to the sciences I have mentioned; or to any superior to them, if there be such: reader, I must trespass a little longer on your patience, and tell you an old maxim, Bonum quo communius, eo melius, "Good, the more common, the better it is." You see, I have in imitation of the industrious bee gathered my honey from various flowers; but yet I cannot say, without some diminution and loss to the persons from whom I have taken the examples to my rules, who are likely never to use their puns again.

      And here to avoid the imputation of ingratitude, I must declare to the world, that my worthy friend Dr. R – , who is singularly remarkable for his unparalleled skill in punning, and a most industrious promoter of it, has been a very great instrument in bringing this work to light, as well by animating me to proceed in it, as by endeavouring to procure a good letter for the impression.

      The favourable acceptance that my puns have met with in some private companies, makes me flatter myself, that my labours therein will be candidly accepted, as they have been cordially intended to serve my native country.

Tom Pun-sibi.

      From my Study, up one Pair of

      Stairs, ill-contrived Streetwards,

      August 9th, 1719.

THE ART OF PUNNING

      "Punnata dicuntur, id ipsum, quod sunt, aliorum esse dicuntur, aut alio quovis modo ad aliud referuntur."

      Puns, in their very nature and constitution, have a relation to something else; or, if they have not, any other reason why will serve as well.

      The Physical Definition of Punning, according to Cardan.

      Punning is an art of harmonious jingling upon words, which, passing in at the ears, and falling upon the diaphragma, excites a titillary motion in those parts; and this being conveyed by the animal spirits into the muscles of the face, raises the cockles of the heart.

      The Moral Definition of Punning.

      Punning is a virtue that most effectually promotes the end of good fellowship, which is laughing.

      N.B. I design to make the most celebrated punners in these kingdoms examples to the following rules.

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