Saint Abe and His Seven Wives. Buchanan Robert Williams
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Название: Saint Abe and His Seven Wives

Автор: Buchanan Robert Williams

Издательство: Public Domain

Жанр: Зарубежная классика

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СКАЧАТЬ long afore he heard full free

      About her larks and thet with me,

      And how 'twas quite the fam'ly plan

      To hev me for her second man.

      At fust thet old Apostle said

      Little, but only shook his head;

      But you may bet he'd no intent

      To let things go as things had went.

      Three nights he stayed, and every night

      He squeezed her hand a bit more tight;

      And every night he didn't miss

      To give a loving kiss to Ciss;

      And tho' his fust was on her brow,

      He ended with her mouth, somehow.

      O, but he was a knowing one,

      The Apostle Hiram Higginson!

      Grey as a badger's was his heer,

      His age was over sixty year

      (Her grandfather was little older),

      So short, his head just touch'd her shoulder;

      His face all grease, his voice all puff,

      His eyes two currants stuck in duff; —

      Call thet a man! – then look at me!

      Thretty year old and six foot three,

      Afear'd o' nothing morn nor night,

      The man don't walk I wouldn't fight!

      Women is women! Thet's their style —

      Talk reason to them and they'll bile;

      But baste'em soft as any pigeon,

      With lies and rubbish and religion;

      Don't talk of flesh and blood and feeling,

      But Holy Ghost and blessed healing;

      Don't name things in too plain a way.

      Look a heap warmer than you say,

      Make'em believe they're serving true

      The Holy Spirit and not you,

      Prove all the world but you's damnation,

      And call your kisses jest salvation;

      Do this, and press'em on the sly,

      You're safe to win'em. Jest you try!

      "Fust thing I heerd of all this game,

      One night when to the ranche I came,

      Jump'd down, ran in, saw Cissy theer,

      And thought her kind o' cool and queer;

      For when I caught her with a kiss,

      Twarn't that she took the thing amiss,

      But kept stone cool and gev a sigh,

      And wiped her mouth upon the sly

      On her white milkin'-apron. 'Waal,'

      Says I, 'you're out o' sorts, my gel!'

      And with a squeamish smile for me,

      Like folks hev when they're sick at sea,

      Says she, 'O, Joseph, ere too late,

      I am awaken'd to my state —

      How pleasant and how sweet it is

      To be in sech a state of bliss!'

      I stared and gaped, and turned to Jim

      Her brother, and cried out to him,

      'Hullo, mate, what's the matter here?

      What's come to Cissy? Is she queer?'

      Jim gev a grin and answered 'Yes,

      A trifle out o' sorts, I guess.'

      But Cissy here spoke up and said,

      'It ain't my stomach, nor my head,

      It ain't my flesh, it ain't my skin,

      It's holy spirits here within!'

      'Waal,' says I, meanin' to be kind,

      'I must be off, for I'm behind;

      But next time that I pass this way

      We'll fix ourselves without delay.

      I know what your complaint is, Ciss,

      I've seen the same in many a miss,

      Keep up your spirits, thet's your plan.

      You're lonely here without a man,

      And you shall hev as good a one

      As e'er druv hoss beneath the sun!'

      At that I buss'd her with a smack.

      Turn'd out, jump'd up, and took the track,

      And larfing druv along the pass.

      "Theer! Guess I was as green as grass!"

      IV – THE BOOK OF MORMON

      "'Twas jest a week after thet day

      When down I druv again this way.

      My heart was light; and 'neath the box

      I'd got a shawl and two fine frocks

      For Cissy. On in spanking style

      The hosses went mile arter mile;

      The sun was blazing golden bright,

      The sunflowers burning in the light,

      The cattle in the golden gleer

      Wading for coolness everywheer

      Among the shinin' ponds, with flies

      As thick as pepper round their eyes

      And on their heads. See! as I went

      Whistling like mad and waal content,

      Altho' 'twas broad bright day all round,

      A cock crow'd, and I thought the sound

      Seem'd pleasant. Twice or thrice he

      crow'd,'

      And then up to the ranche I rode.

      Since then I've often heerd folk say

      When a cock crows in open day

      It's a bad sign, announcin' clear

      Black luck or death to those thet hear.

      "When I drew up, all things were still.

      I saw the boys far up the hill

      Tossin' the hay; but at the door

      No Cissy stood as oft afore.

      No, not a soul there, left nor right,

      Her very chicks were out o' sight.

      So down I jump'd, and 'Ciss!' I cried,

      But not a sign of her outside.

      With thet into the house I ran,

      But found no sight of gel or man —

      All empty. Thinks I, 'this is queer!' —

      Look'd in the dairy – no one theer;

      Then loiter'd round the kitchen' track

      Into the orchard at the back:

      Under the fruit-trees' shade I pass'd…

      Thro' the green bushes… and at last

      Found, as the furthest path I trode,

      The gel I wanted. Ye… s! by – !

      The gel I wanted – ay, I found

      More than I wanted, you'll be bound!

      Theer, seated on a wooden cheer,

      With bows and ribbons in her heer,

      Her hat a-swinging on a twig

      Close СКАЧАТЬ