The Mentor. Ayres Alfred

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СКАЧАТЬ gum – the points where the tartar always begins to accumulate. The tooth-powder used must be soluble; if it is not, it gets between the gums and the neck of the tooth, remains there, and tends to inflame the periosteum. For this reason, neither pulverized charcoal nor cigar-ashes should be used. As a brush does not reach between the teeth, a sharpened stick should occasionally be used with a powder. At long intervals a little pumice-stone, if necessary, may also be used with a stick, but great care should be taken not to let it get under the edge of the gums. Dentists generally use orange wood.

      Men that do not have their hair frequently cut, keep their faces clean shaven, and their teeth clean are never welcome in the society of ladies, should they chance to know any. They may be well received by women of the lower orders, but women that are ladies are never drawn toward men that do not have the appearance of being neat in their persons. Ladies may and often do tolerate such men; in fact, they are often compelled to tolerate them, but they generally do it with ill-concealed reluctance.

      Men of taste that carry canes select those that are strong, plain, stiff, light, and small. Very large canes are in very bad taste, especially for young men.

      A few hints concerning the wearing of a man’s clothes should suffice.

      A full-dress suit consists of a swallow-tailed coat, a low white or black single-breasted vest, black trousers, a white necktie, a stand-up collar, (?) a high black hat, and, properly, of a pair of very light kid gloves.

      This dress should never be worn until evening, i. e., never previously to the dinner hour, no matter what the occasion. There are a few men, in the large cities, where they dine late – at six or seven o’clock – that put on their dress suits regularly every day before dinner and wear them for the rest of the day.

      A white necktie should never be worn except with a full-dress suit, save by clergymen and a few elderly men that never wear any other color.

      Black trousers should never be worn except with a dress coat, save at funerals.

      A high hat should not be worn with a sack coat, especially if the color is light.

      A low hat should not be worn with a long coat – a double-breasted frock, for example.

      Straw hats should be worn only with light summer suits.

      Dark suits are to be preferred for Sundays, especially in town, and light suits should never be worn to church anywhere.

      Double-breasted frock coats should always be of black or gray material.

      At small, informal gatherings most men consider themselves sufficiently dressed when they wear black frock coats and dark trousers. Indeed, there is no good reason why men should appear in full dress on any occasion where the ladies do not wear full dress. At public entertainments, for example, where the ladies wear their bonnets, the man that wears a black frock coat, dark trousers, and light kid gloves is better dressed – because more appropriately – than he that wears a full-dress suit. True, the practice of wearing such a suit on such occasions entails additional expense, as otherwise a business or walking suit and a dress suit may be made to serve for all occasions.

      At home, the first consideration with pretty nearly every man will always be comfort. No man, however, that has any regard for the proprieties will ever appear at the table, whether there are any strangers present or not, or will show himself to any one with whom he is not on a familiar footing, in his shirt-sleeves.

      AT THE DINNER-TABLE

      Good humor makes one dish a feast. – Washington.

      Animals feed, men eat; but only men of intelligence know how to eat. – Brillat-Savarin.

      Some philosopher has very truthfully said that he must be a very great man that can afford to ignore social observances. He might have added that of all places – in English-speaking countries at least – the one where a man can least afford to ignore social observances is the dinner-table. It is there that the well-bred man and the ill-bred man are the most strongly contrasted; and the man that does not there conform to those usages that constitute what is called manners is likely soon to find the doors of the better houses closed against him. Indeed, such men are not likely ever to find their way within them.

      “Dinner-parties rank first among all entertainments, being of more frequent occurrence, and having more social significance than any other form of entertainment. An invitation to dinner conveys a greater mark of esteem, or friendship and cordiality toward the guest invited, than is conveyed with an invitation to any other social gathering, it being the highest social compliment that is offered by one person to another. It is also a civility that can be easily interchanged, which in itself gives it an advantage over all other civilities.”

      An invitation to dine should be promptly replied to, whether you accept or decline. It may run thus:

      Mr. and Mrs. – request the favor [or pleasure] of Mr. – ’s company at dinner on – day, the – , at – o’clock.

      The reply, if an acceptance, may be worded thus:

      Mr. – has the pleasure to accept Mr. and Mrs. – ’s kind invitation to dinner on the – .

      If the invitation be declined, some good reason should be stated:

       Mr. – regrets that, owing to a previous engagement [or in consequence of leaving town, etc.] he cannot have the pleasure of accepting Mr. and Mrs. – ’s kind invitation for the —.

      The answer, whether affirmative or negative, should be addressed to the mistress of the house, and despatched within twenty-four hours, if possible, of the receipt of the invitation.

      Having accepted an invitation, be punctual. “To be too late is a crime, and to be too early a blunder.” You should not fail to arrive within a very few minutes after the time named, say within five, or ten at most. “Dinner,” somebody has said, “is the hope of the hungry, the occupation of the idle, the rest of the weary, and the consolation of the miserable!” It is certainly the event of the day that should be honored with punctuality. In general, well-bred people and people that dine out frequently, make a point of arriving in good time. It is not well to arrive before the hour named, as you might find no one in the drawing-room to receive you.

      “It is said that Beau Brummell had, among other follies, that of choosing to be always too late for dinner. Whenever he was invited he liked to be waited for. He considered it a proof of his fashion and consequence; and the higher the rank of his entertainer, the later was the arrival of this impudent parvenu. The Marquis of Abercorn had on several occasions submitted silently to this trial of his patience, but at length he resolved to bear it no longer. Accordingly, one day, when he had invited Brummell to dine, he desired to have the dinner on the table punctually at the appointed time. The servants obeyed, and Brummell and the cheese arrived together. The wondering Beau was desired by the master of the house to sit down. He vouchsafed no apology for what had happened, but coolly said, ‘I hope, Mr. Brummell, cheese is not disagreeable to you.’ The story runs that Brummell was never again late at that house.”

      On entering the drawing-room, without looking to the right or the left, you will go and pay your respects to the hostess, then to the other members of the family, and finally to any acquaintances you may recognize.

      Should you be stopped, on your way to the hostess, by an acquaintance ignorant of the proprieties, you will not refuse to respond to his greeting, but will make the response as brief as civility will permit.

      Take good care СКАЧАТЬ