Solstices. Crisalis .

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СКАЧАТЬ looked at her in doubt and disbelief.

      'It’s true,' she repeated. 'If I didn’t have any income, it would be a different kettle of fish altogether.'

      'But I can’t accept it for free, just like that,' argued Christiane.

      'Well, if you can’t then you could decide to use two hours, the amount of time I spent with you, to do some good deed, something that will bring healing and love into the world.'

      'But how am I supposed to do that? What should I do? I can’t do anything like that.'

      'Hmm. You could start by being tender and loving to your dog for two hours.'

      Christiane frowned angrily. 'I really mean that,' Charlotte urged. 'It’s about opening your heart. You’ll feel a lot better if you do that and you’ll learn what you have to do to reach be healed. And your dog will feel a lot better, too.'

      As if she wanted to prove Charlotte right, the Doberman now crossed over to them, sat down near Christiane and lightly touched her knee with her nose. She didn’t lean against Christiane, as she had done with Charlotte; it was more like a tentative question.

      Christiane’s face smoothed out and she suddenly had tears in her eyes. 'Anona…', she whispered, and to Charlotte she said, 'She’s never done that before.' For a moment something like happiness shimmered in Christiane’s eyes and the dog swallowed. Woman and dog kept completely still.

      But the moment passed. Christiane’s body jerked, her mouth turned down and her face became hard again. Quickly, Anona got up and fled to the corner of the room. Christiane snorted.

      'Well, she can’t stand my presence very long, can she?'

      'Practise,' Charlotte said softly. 'Practise opening you heart and Anona will not only put up with you, she'll come to love you.'

      Christiane looked up at the word 'love'. Her eyes had such a searching and clueless expression, as if Christiane wasn’t familiar with the meaning of the word. She seemed confused and astonished and was searching for answers in Charlotte’s eyes.

      Charlotte smiled and got up. 'I’ll go now. Just stay where you are, I’ll find my own way out.' She looked back before she left the room, to see Christiane sitting motionless on the chaise-longue, gazing at the old oak in the park, lost in thought. Anona was standing off to one side and seemed to be looking back and forth between Christiane and Charlotte, with a silent question in her eyes.

      Samhain

      31 October

      Remembering our ancestors….New Year for witches and sorcerers……

      ∞ Transitions ∞

      ∞ going into the dark season ∞

      ∞ remembering the dead ∞

      ∞ looking deep into ourselves, deep into the earth ∞

      If we aren’t able to shed our fear of death, we won’t be able to enjoy our life – that’s what we’ve been told. If we can’t lose our fear of death, we’ll waste most of our life running from old age, disease and death, and we won’t be able to live the life that was our original destination. Buddhist teachers recommend we contemplate death once a day. Otherwise, each day will be in vain, because we are caught in our illusions. Only by looking back from the point of death we will be able to understand how relative our reality. This knowledge opens the door to freedom, freedom of determination and narrow-mindedness.

      At Samhain the veil between the worlds is very thin, only matched by that on Beltane. We can try to get in contact with our ancestors. By contacting them it might become easier to understand the inconceivability of death. By feeling the presence of our ancestors, we can overcome some of our fears. Even if the goddess might never answer our questions about why we have to suffer, fall ill, get old and die, we might perhaps be able to develop some kind of understanding, beyond all words and thoughts. Feeling the presence of our ancestors – those who have suffered, lived and loved before us – might inspire our awareness of an eternal life, might reassure us that this life is not in vain, and not without aim.

      Suggestion for a ritual for Samhain: The best place for Samhain is a cave. We start our walk at dusk. If we are sure-footed we might go without a light, carefully, slowly, feeling our way through the darkness. Once we reach the cave, we sit down in silence and feel the earth surrounding us. The direction of Samhain is north, and the element of north is earth and the rocks which surround us.

      Once everyone has settled down, we try to contact our ancestors. We remember them and honour them. We remember the losses of the current year, the illnesses, pain, disappointments, loss of loved ones or pets. Where are they now? Can we feel them beside us? If we feel like it, we can share our pain with those present in the cave. It is very important to speak thoughtfully and listen carefully, opening our heart and sending sympathy when others tell their tale. If we manage to share our mourning and our pain, this on its own will bring comfort and healing. When everyone who is willing to speak has spoken, we light the candles we brought along. Afterwards we place our gifts for the ancestors in the northern part of the cave and leave the cave in silence.

      After the ritual we hold a feast with the food we have brought. If we decide to hold the feast outside, we light a warming fire.

      Place of the ritual in the annual cycle: At the beginning of autumn we gave thanks for the harvest and for the abundance of that year. After Samhain, the dark season begins. Autumn is almost over and the days are short, cold and often very wet. It is the time for indoor activities, time to get some inner calm. In this dark time of the year, which is ahead now, we should consciously think about the darkness, retreat into ourselves, meet our fear head on, in order to be cleansed and able to light the light for the New Year at solstice.

      During the following days Charlotte felt peaceful and filled with a quiet joy. She was thankful for meeting Christiane and for the fact that Christiane had healed a little. And she was really enjoying Cleo’s presence. She liked it very much when Cleo snuggled against her in the evenings, and softly stroked her face with her paw in the mornings when the alarm clock went off, as if to make sure Charlotte was awake. Often, when the cat cuddled against her, she felt her heart open and this alone caused parts of her to heal. Charlotte also had the impression that Cleo always settled down on parts of her body that were tense and where the energy flow was blocked or something seemed to be jammed. It was obvious to Charlotte that it was not only the warmth of the cat’s body that started to flow but also healing energy.

      Also during those days Charlotte worked on some strenuous projects. She had published the announcement of the 'Origin and Function of Sexual Abuse in our Society' seminar series at Synergia. The text of the announcement alone had inspired heated discussions. The board of directors, who considered their company as progressive and a leader of society, had announced their participation and announced their attendance, without exception.

      One night Charlotte went to bed late, dead tired from several days’ exhausting work. She slid into a terrible nightmare, which she wasn’t able to shake off. She felt herself breaking into a sweat, and helplessly tried to wake up, but she couldn’t free herself from being pulled into the nightmare. She saw herself standing, quite lost, in a yard she didn’t know. She felt as if she had been in shock for weeks. One part of her was sailing up there with the fluffy white clouds in the dark blue sky. That part seemed calm and relaxed, looking down on her, Sarah, as she stood there. The long black СКАЧАТЬ