The Collected Works of George Bernard Shaw: Plays, Novels, Articles, Letters and Essays. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
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СКАЧАТЬ angered at such extravagance.

      “Bless her innocence, she don’t know what is proper to give to a low sort like me! But I will not rob the young lady. ‘Arf-a-crown is no more nor is fair for the job, and arf-a-crown will I keep, if agreeable to your noble ladyship. But I give you back the five bob in trust for her. Have you ever noticed her expressive hi?”

      “Nonsense, sir. You had better keep the money now that you have got it.”

      “Wot! Sell for five bob the high opinion your ladyship has of me! No, dear lady; not likely. My father’s very last words to me was—”

      “You said just now that you were a foundling,” said Fairholme. “What are we to believe? Eh?”

      “So I were, sir; but by mother’s side alone. Her ladyship will please to take back the money, for keep it I will not. I am of the lower orders, and therefore not a man of my word; but when I do stick to it, I stick like wax.”

      “Take it,” said Fairholme to Miss Wilson. “Take it, of course. Seven and sixpence is a ridiculous sum to give him for what he has done. It would only set him drinking.”

      “His reverence says true, lady. The one ‘arfcrown will keep me comfortably tight until Sunday morning; and more I do not desire.”

      “Just a little less of your tongue, my man,” said Fairholme, taking the two coins from him and handing them to Miss Wilson, who bade the clergymen good afternoon, and went to the coach under the umbrella.

      “If your ladyship should want a handy man to do an odd job up at the college I hope you will remember me,” Smilash said as they went down the slope.

      “Oh, you know who I am, do you?” said Miss Wilson drily.

      “All the country knows you, Miss, and worships you. I have few equals as a coiner, and if you should require a medal struck to give away for good behavior or the like, I think I could strike one to your satisfaction. And if your ladyship should want a trifle of smuggled lace—”

      “You had better be careful or you will get into trouble, I think,” said Miss Wilson sternly. “Tell him to drive on.”

      The vehicles started, and Smilash took the liberty of waving his hat after them. Then he returned to the chalet, left the umbrella within, came out again, locked the door, put the key in his pocket, and walked off through the rain across the hill without taking the least notice of the astonished parsons.

      In the meantime Miss Wilson, unable to contain her annoyance at Agatha’s extravagance, spoke of it to the girls who shared the coach with her. But Jane declared that Agatha only possessed threepence in the world, and therefore could not possibly have given the man thirty times that sum. When they reached the college, Agatha, confronted with Miss Wilson, opened her eyes in wonder, and exclaimed, laughing: “I only gave him threepence. He has sent me a present of four and ninepence!”

      CHAPTER IV

       Table of Contents

      Saturday at Alton College, nominally a half holiday, was really a whole one. Classes in gymnastics, dancing, elocution, and drawing were held in the morning. The afternoon was spent at lawn tennis, to which lady guests resident in the neighborhood were allowed to bring their husbands, brothers, and fathers — Miss Wilson being anxious to send her pupils forth into the world free from the uncouth stiffness of schoolgirls unaccustomed to society.

      Late in October came a Saturday which proved anything but a holiday for Miss Wilson. At half-past one, luncheon being over, she went out of doors to a lawn that lay between the southern side of the college and a shrubbery. Here she found a group of girls watching Agatha and Jane, who were dragging a roller over the grass. One of them, tossing a ball about with her racket, happened to drive it into the shrubbery, whence, to the surprise of the company, Smilash presently emerged, carrying the ball, blinking, and proclaiming that, though a common man, he had his feelings like another, and that his eye was neither a stick nor a stone. He was dressed as before, but his garments, soiled with clay and lime, no longer looked new.

      “What brings you here, pray?” demanded Miss Wilson.

      “I was led into the belief that you sent for me, lady,” he replied. “The baker’s lad told me so as he passed my ‘umble cot this morning. I thought he were incapable of deceit.”

      “That is quite right; I did send for you. But why did you not go round to the servants’ hall?”

      “I am at present in search of it, lady. I were looking for it when this ball cotch me here” (touching his eye). “A cruel blow on the hi’ nat’rally spires its vision and expression and makes a honest man look like a thief.”

      “Agatha,” said Miss Wilson, “come here.”

      “My dooty to you, Miss,” said Smilash, pulling his forelock.

      “This is the man from whom I had the five shillings, which he said you had just given him. Did you do so?”

      “Certainly not. I only gave him threepence.”

      “But I showed the money to your ladyship,” said Smilash, twisting his hat agitatedly. “I gev it you. Where would the like of me get five shillings except by the bounty of the rich and noble? If the young lady thinks I hadn’t ort to have kep’ the tother ‘arfcrown, I would not object to its bein’ stopped from my wages if I were given a job of work here. But—”

      “But it’s nonsense,” said Agatha. “I never gave you three half-crowns.”

      “Perhaps you mout ‘a’ made a mistake. Pence is summat similar to ‘arfcrowns, and the day were very dark.”

      “I couldn’t have,” said Agatha. “Jane had my purse all the earlier part of the week, Miss Wilson, and she can tell you that there was only threepence in it. You know that I get my money on the first of every month. It never lasts longer than a week. The idea of my having seven and sixpence on the sixteenth is ridiculous.”

      “But I put it to you, Miss, ain’t it twice as ridiculous for me, a poor laborer, to give up money wot I never got?”

      Vague alarm crept upon Agatha as the testimony of her senses was contradicted. “All I know is,” she protested, “that I did not give it to you; so my pennies must have turned into half-crowns in your pocket.”

      “Mebbe so,” said Smilash gravely. “I’ve heard, and I know it for a fact, that money grows in the pockets of the rich. Why not in the pockets of the poor as well? Why should you be su’prised at wot ‘appens every day?”

      “Had you any money of your own about you at the time?”

      “Where could the like of me get money? — asking pardon for making so bold as to catechise your ladyship.”

      “I don’t know where you could get it,” said Miss Wilson testily; “I ask you, had you any?”

      “Well, lady, I disremember. I will not impose upon you. I disremember.”

      “Then you’ve made a mistake,” said Miss Wilson, handing him back his money. “Here. СКАЧАТЬ