60 Plays: The George Bernard Shaw Edition (Illustrated). GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

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СКАЧАТЬ I need to be warned now? (To Valentine.) You have tried to make me love you.

      VALENTINE. I have.

      GLORIA. Well, you have succeeded in making me hate you — passionately.

      VALENTINE (philosophically). It’s surprising how little difference there is between the two. (Gloria turns indignantly away from him. He continues, to Mrs. Clandon) I know men whose wives love them; and they go on exactly like that.

      MRS. CLANDON. Excuse me, Mr. Valentine; but had you not better go?

      GLORIA. You need not send him away on my account, mother. He is nothing to me now; and he will amuse Dolly and Phil. (She sits down with slighting indifference, at the end of the table nearest the window.)

      VALENTINE (gaily). Of course: that’s the sensible way of looking at it. Come, Mrs. Clandon: you can’t quarrel with a mere butterfly like me.

      MRS. CLANDON. I very greatly mistrust you, Mr. Valentine. But I do not like to think that your unfortunate levity of disposition is mere shamelessness and worthlessness; —

      GLORIA (to herself, but aloud). It is shameless; and it is worthless.

      MRS. CLANDON. — so perhaps we had better send for Phil and Dolly and allow you to end your visit in the ordinary way.

      VALENTINE (as if she had paid him the highest compliment). You overwhelm me, Mrs. Clandon. Thank you. (The waiter enters.)

      WAITER. Mr. McComas, ma’am.

      MRS. CLANDON. Oh, certainly. Bring him in.

      WAITER. He wishes to see you in the reception-room, ma’am.

      MRS. CLANDON. Why not here?

      WAITER. Well, if you will excuse my mentioning it, ma’am, I think Mr. McComas feels that he would get fairer play if he could speak to you away from the younger members of your family, ma’am.

      MRS. CLANDON. Tell him they are not here.

      WAITER. They are within sight of the door, ma’am; and very watchful, for some reason or other.

      MRS. CLANDON (going). Oh, very well: I’ll go to him.

      WAITER (holding the door open for her). Thank you, ma’am. (She goes out. He comes back into the room, and meets the eye of Valentine, who wants him to go.) All right, sir. Only the tea-things, sir. (Taking the tray.) Excuse me, sir. Thank you sir. (He goes out.)

      VALENTINE (to Gloria). Look here. You will forgive me, sooner or later. Forgive me now.

      GLORIA (rising to level the declaration more intensely at him). Never! While grass grows or water runs, never, never, never!!!

      VALENTINE (unabashed). Well, I don’t care. I can’t be unhappy about anything. I shall never be unhappy again, never, never, never, while grass grows or water runs. The thought of you will always make me wild with joy. (Some quick taunt is on her lips: he interposes swiftly.) No: I never said that before: that’s new.

      GLORIA. It will not be new when you say it to the next woman.

      VALENTINE. Oh, don’t, Gloria, don’t. (He kneels at her feet.)

      GLORIA. Get up. Get up! How dare you? (Phil and Dolly, racing, as usual, for first place, burst into the room. They check themselves on seeing what is passing. Valentine springs up.)

      PHILIP (discreetly). I beg your pardon. Come, Dolly. (He turns to go.)

      GLORIA (annoyed). Mother will be back in a moment, Phil. (Severely.) Please wait here for her. (She turns away to the window, where she stands looking out with her back to them.)

      PHILIP (significantly). Oh, indeed. Hmhm!

      DOLLY. Ahah!

      PHILIP. You seem in excellent spirits, Valentine.

      VALENTINE. I am. (Comes between them.) Now look here. You both know what’s going on, don’t you? (Gloria turns quickly, as if anticipating some fresh outrage.)

      DOLLY. Perfectly.

      VALENTINE. Well, it’s all over. I’ve been refused — scorned. I’m only here on sufferance. You understand: it’s all over. Your sister is in no sense entertaining my addresses, or condescending to interest herself in me in any way. (Gloria, satisfied, turns back contemptuously to the window.) Is that clear?

      DOLLY. Serve you right. You were in too great a hurry.

      PHILIP (patting him on the shoulder). Never mind: you’d never have been able to call your soul your own if she’d married you. You can now begin a new chapter in your life.

      DOLLY. Chapter seventeen or thereabouts, I should imagine.

      VALENTINE (much put out by this pleasantry). No: don’t say things like that. That’s just the sort of thoughtless remark that makes a lot of mischief.

      DOLLY. Oh, indeed. Hmhm!

      PHILIP. Ahah! (He goes to the hearth and plants himself there in his best head-of-the-family attitude.)

      McComas, looking very serious, comes in quickly with Mrs. Clandon, whose first anxiety is about Gloria. She looks round to see where she is, and is going to join her at the window when Gloria comes down to meet her with a marked air of trust and affection. Finally, Mrs. Clandon takes her former seat, and Gloria posts herself behind it. McComas, on his way to the ottoman, is hailed by Dolly.

      DOLLY. What cheer, Finch?

      McCOMAS (sternly). Very serious news from your father, Miss Clandon. Very serious news indeed. (He crosses to the ottoman, and sits down. Dolly, looking deeply impressed, follows him and sits beside him on his right.)

      VALENTINE. Perhaps I had better go.

      McCOMAS. By no means, Mr. Valentine. You are deeply concerned in this. (Valentine takes a chair from the table and sits astride of it, leaning over the back, near the ottoman.) Mrs. Clandon: your husband demands the custody of his two younger children, who are not of age. (Mrs. Clandon, in quick alarm, looks instinctively to see if Dolly is safe.)

      DOLLY (touched). Oh, how nice of him! He likes us, mamma.

      McCOMAS. I am sorry to have to disabuse you of any such idea, Miss Dorothea.

      DOLLY (cooing ecstatically). Dorothee-ee-ee-a! (Nestling against his shoulder, quite overcome.) Oh, Finch!

      McCOMAS (nervously, moving away). No, no, no, no!

      MRS. CLANDON (remonstrating). D e a r e s t Dolly! (To McComas.) The deed of separation gives me the custody of the children.

      McCOMAS. It also contains a covenant that you are not to approach or molest him in any way.

      MRS. CLANDON. Well, have I done so?

      McCOMAS. Whether the behavior of your younger children amounts to legal molestation is a question on which it may be necessary to take counsel’s opinion. At all events, Mr. Crampton not only claims to have been molested; but he believes that he was brought here by a plot СКАЧАТЬ