Голубые ступени / Stepping into the blue. Михаил Садовский

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СКАЧАТЬ time to time to let out a wee little groan of self-pity. He had picked a fine time to get sick – outside the window spring had already arrived, and soon it would be his birthday, and the streamlets would be running their charming little courses, and the sun would be shining with its unrelenting warmth, and keep on shining and warming no matter how long you exposed your face and neck to its rays. Then all the little kids would go and sit in a row on the old damp log at the sand-lot, planting themselves on scraps of old leatherette handbags and dried-up newspapers.

      There was no anticipation for him. He dozed on through one unending day, momentarily waking from his dank drowsiness only to immerse himself in it once again, not daring to turn over or even move his fingers – actions which would only provoke acute pain. And he would put up with it – he would put up with it until the very last moment when it seemed his stomach would burst, and never mind the throbbing and spinning in his head, he would make his way across the cold floor, hanging on to the walls, to the bathroom, and stand for what seemed forever over the rusty toilet bowl with its steady trickle of water. Then, feeling a sudden chill, he would go lightly tripping with an inexplicable delight back to his now-cold bed, tuck in his feet, curl up and practically faint – now he had to pay the penalty. Pricks of pain came one after another with relentless cruelty, and his only defense was to lie completely still, and that was so hard when everything hurt. He would close his eyes, and again his hungry, exhausted little body would be swallowed up in a soft and pleasing drowsiness.

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      Примечания

      1

      Ten years with no outside communication permitted – a Soviet euphemism indicating execution by a firing squad.

      2

      It was a common occurrence for families of anyone imprisoned as an ’enemy of the state’ to be ostracized by most of their acquaintances.

      3

      Alexander Pushkin – a celebrated Russian poet of the early 19th century, considered by many to be the father of Russian literature.

      4

      The Doctors’ plot (in Russian: delo vrachej – literally, «the doctors’ case») – a supposed plot by a number of doctors (many of them Jewish) to kill Stalin, widely held to be a ruse perpetrated by Stalin himself. All the doctors were freed a few days following Stalin’s death in March 1953.

      5

      Both Irka and Irochka are diminutive forms of the name Irina, each befitting the respective context.

      6

      Чтоб оно всё сгорело… так я думала… ты понимаешь, ты всё понимаешь… и я решила тогда – это конец…

      7

      Бабушка, моя дорогая бабушка! Я прошу тебя, живи ещё сто лет!

      8

      Господи, ты не забыл про меня – я тут одна осталась? Господи, я прошу тебя… не забудь про меня… я только напоминаю тебе…

      9

      Сегодня я тут с тобой, Зяма! Ты не забыл, что за день сегодня? Нет, я верю, не забыл!

      10

      Спасибо тебе, Господи! Все здоровы!

      11

      Можешь уже подвинуться… я скоро буду… да… да…

      12

      During the Stalinist period it was considered a citizen’s duty to avoid all contact with relatives of a declared ’enemy of the people’.

      13

      Filippovich – a patronymic, or second name derived from his father’s first name. Its use here all by itself (without the first name) indicates that he enjoyed a high degree of trust and friendship on the part of the people he worked with.

      14

      Bauman – the name of a well-known technical institute in Moscow.

      15

      Wushu – a category of Chinese martial arts (popular in Russia) with emphasis on athletic and aesthetic performance, in contrast to the more combat-oriented kung fu.

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