The Case of the Three-Toed Tree Sloth. John R. Erickson

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СКАЧАТЬ as its winkest lick.” He winked one eye and licked his chops. “Why did you do that?”

      “Well, you said something about winks and licks, and all at once...”

      “I said, ‘weakest link.’ We are a chain, Drover, and we’re only as strong as our weakest link. Please try to remember that.”

      “Okay, I’ve got it.”

      “Good. Now, let’s go see what kind of lies the cat is spreading around.”

      We turned out the lights and rode the elevator down to the ground floor, then went streaking away from the gas tanks and roared up to the gravel drive behind the ranch house. There, I went to Total Lockdown on all four paws and slid to a sliding slop...stop, that is. I slid to a sliding slop beside the yard gate.

      On the other side of the fence sat the cat. Mister Never Sweat. Pete.

      Have we discussed my Position on Cats? I don’t like ‘em, never have. As a group, they’re arrogant, lazy, and prone to sneaky behavior, and Pete is worse than most. I rarely do business with cats, but sometimes it can’t be avoided. This appeared to be one of those situations.

      The little pest was licking his front paw with long strokes of his tongue. He looked up and gave me his usual smirk. “My, my, it’s Hankie the Wonderdog! What brings you to my little corner of the world?”

      I swaggered over to him. “Never mind the small talk, Kitty. I’m on a tight schedule.”

      His eyes grew wide. “Really!”

      “That’s correct. Drover said you turned in a report.”

      “Did I? I wonder what it could have been.”

      My lips twitched into a snarl. “Hurry up, Pete. I know you love wasting my time but this isn’t the day for it.”

      He fluttered his eyes and grinned. “Oh, you mean the strange animal?”

      “Drover said it was a strange creature, not just an animal. Tell me about the so-called strange creature.”

      “Oh, that! Well, yes, I saw one.”

      “Go on and stick with the facts.”

      “Well, Hankie, with my own eyes, I saw…” He leaned toward me and lowered his voice. “…a Three-Toed Tree Sloth.”

      “That’s rubbish. Toads don’t live in trees.”

      He heaved a sigh. “Not a toad, Hankie. It’s a creature that has three toes and lives in trees. It’s called a sloth, a Three-Toed Tree Sloth. I’ll bet you can’t say it.”

      I laughed in his face. “Oh yeah? Check this out. Free-Toed Tree Toad.”

      “That’s wrong, Hankie. Three. Toed. Tree. Sloth.”

      “Pete, if I can’t pronounce it, I don’t believe in it.”

      He shrugged. “Well, I guess you’re not interested.”

      “I guess I’m not.” I whirled away from the little crook. “Come on, Drover, this cat is wasting our time.”

      As we marched away, I heard Pete’s voice behind me. “Maybe you don’t care that he’s eating trees.”

      A buzz of electricity leaped down my spine. I stopped in my tracks, whirled around, and marched back to the fence. There, I beamed the cat an icy glare. “He was doing what? Did you say the creature was eating my trees? Without permission?”

      “Um hm, that’s what Tree Sloths do, Hankie. They eat trees, chew them right down to the ground. But I’m sure you already knew that.”

      “Of course I did. If you knew it, I knew it, only I knew it first. Don’t forget who’s Head of Ranch Security.” I moved closer and lowered my voice. “Maybe it was a beaver, Pete. Beavers eat trees, you know.”

      The cat shook his head. “It wasn’t a beaver, Hankie. Beavers live in the water. Sloths climb trees. I saw him up in a tree.”

      I paced a few steps away and tried to sort things out. Did I dare trust the testimony of a cat? Cats are notorious for spreading lies and causing trouble, and they do it just for sport. They don’t have jobs, you know, and when time begins to drag, they plot mischief. It’s just the nature of a cat.

      But what bothered me most was that…how can I say this? What bothered me most was that I had never heard of a Tree-Toed Slip Slop, and I sure didn’t want Kitty to know what I didn’t know.

      Before I exchanged another word with the little scrounge, I needed to gather some more information about this mysterious creature, before something really bad happened to our ranch trees.

      Chapter Two: Barn Robbers

      We call it “research,” gathering background information for a case we have under investigation, and it’s a very important part of my work with the Security Division. See, a lot of dogs won’t take the time to do a proper job of researching a case, because…well, let’s face it. It’s too much trouble. It’s hard work. Ordinary mutts would rather chew a bone, snap at flies, or sleep.

      Show me a dog that sleeps his life away and I’ll show you a mutt that never solves a case.

      Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, I had just finished an interrogation of the local cat and had managed to extract an incredible pack of lies and half-truths about a mysterious creature called the Hammer-Toed Slip Slop.

      Wait. It was called Three-Footed Toad Frog.

      I don’t care what Pete called it, but he claimed that it had devoured and destroyed three hundred trees on my ranch.

      It was called the Three-Toed Tree Sloth. There we go.

      But regardless of what we called the thing, I was pretty sure it was nothing but a pack of lies, because…well, the story came from a cat, and cats would rather spin lies than eat ice cream. They are notorious twisters of the truth, and we never build a case around the testimony of a cat. Never.

      On the other hand, it was a pretty disturbing pack of lies, and a dog in my position must remain open to the possibility that, once in a great while, a cat will mess up and tell the truth. In other words, I had to do some more digging on the case, and that brings us back to that word we discussed before, “research.” I had to do my research on this deal.

      I left Drover with the cat, which tells you a lot about Drover. He was so bored with his own little life, he had nothing better to do than hang out with a cat, but let’s don’t get started on that.

      I hiked up the hill to the machine shed, doing Visual Sweeps for any sign of a mysterious creature. The VS turned up no leads, but then I began picking up signals of an unauthorized vehicle that was approaching headquarters from the north. It was moving СКАЧАТЬ