Manhood is a Mindset. J. Colin Trisler

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СКАЧАТЬ to my preferences. Nor do they take my feelings into consideration. Reality is what it is and there’s no getting around it. As my father pointed out, the reality of the situation was this: No matter how badly I wanted the fight to be real, Hacksaw Duggan and Kamala weren’t really fighting. They were athletic actors putting on a show; and if I wanted to enjoy the show, I would be wise to accept that reality on its own terms.

      I also learned that my father actually knew what he was talking about. No matter how much I didn’t want to hear what he had to say, what he said proved true. And I realized that I would be wise to take his words more seriously from now on.

      Dads, This Book Is for You, Too

      Nearly four decades later, my father’s lessons still ring true.

      Now that I’m a father myself, I want to follow his lead and teach my children the truth about life, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. One thing I’ve learned about being a father is that telling the truth isn’t always easy. The truth can make you unpopular, especially with your children. But fatherhood is not a popularity contest. It’s a responsibility. And a responsible father stands firm in the truth, even when it’s inconvenient. Even when his children don’t appreciate it. He stands firm because he loves his children. He wants what’s best for them. And he knows it’s his job to give his children what they need—and not always what they want.

Any hands-on father will tell you that one of his biggest responsibilities is to provide for his children.2 We want to give our children good lives, so we buy them clothes and food, toys and games, computers and cars. But as every responsible father understands, material things don’t make for a good life—and the greatest gift any man can ever give his children is the truth.

      And that’s why I’ve written this collection of letters to my son: to better instruct him in the truth he needs to grow into a self-respecting man, one who’s prepared to go out into the real world and build a good life for himself. I’ve chosen to go public with these letters because I want to help other hard-working fathers do the same for their sons. I want to support them as they take on the tough responsibility of molding their young and inexperienced boys into strong and godly men.

      So to all the fathers (and father-figures) who are reading this right now, I want to make one thing clear: I may have written these letters to my son, but I’ve written them from a father’s perspective. With a father’s heart. That means I’ve designed this book to not only help teenage to twenty-something guys grow into manhood, but also to support you—the dads and mentors who are helping them get there.

      I’ve written these letters with you in mind. This book is for the men who are working hard every day to guide their sons in the right direction. Those proactive fathers who want to be something more meaningful to their sons than just a reactive disciplinarian or a human ATM. My hope is that this book will give all you hands-on dads the support you need to teach your sons how to apply practical biblical principles to the everyday life situations most young men face. My aim is to help you create a respectful and educational home environment, one in which your sons will grow into capable men who are ready to go out into the real world and meet their responsibilities to God, their families, their neighbors, and themselves.

      I want these letters to facilitate meaningful interactions between you and your sons, with the hope that it will inspire the two of you to work together as a team and put God’s word to work in your daily lives. Then, hopefully, you’ll see for yourselves how something as profound and as simple as the truth can make a lifetime of difference in the life of a family.

      vvv

      The truth is, any ol’ dude can bark at a boy and tell him to Grow up and act like a man! (as if becoming a man is as simple as flipping on a mental switch).

      But authentic manhood is not some random acquisition. It’s a mindset that must be learned. And it takes a special kind of man to be a good father—one who’s willing to put in the work necessary to help his young and inexperienced son learn how to be a successful man of God.

      So, naturally, the question arises: How exactly does a father help his immature boy transform into a mature and self-respecting man?

      As we’ll see in my first letter, I answer that question with just one word: Wisdom.

      Sincerely,

      A fellow father

      1. Fake was the word he used, but I refuse to use that word because it’s insulting. There’s nothing fake about a pro wrestler’s toughness and athleticism. Although their art involves a certain degree of showmanship, even the most casual fan can see the pain that accompanies many of the choreographed bumps and blows is very real.

      2. I discuss the responsibilities of a hands-on father in detail in letter 8.

      Letter 1

      Today is a Good Day to Make Wise Decisions

      Proverbs 1:1

      “Every day you will have decisions to make.

      Real-world decisions that your life depends on.”

      Son, think of all the decisions you’ve made so far today.

      Based on your own independent judgment, you chose what you were going to eat for breakfast (if you ate breakfast). You chose to take a shower (if you took a shower). You chose to brush your teeth (if you brushed your teeth). You chose the clothes you’re wearing (if you’re wearing clothes). And on and on and on.

      People face a multitude of choices and make hundreds of decisions every day of their lives. Some are too insignificant to even register as self-conscious thought. For example, those routine decisions that you hardly even know you’re making—like whether to open the carton of milk with your left or right hand, or in what order to put your socks on when you’re getting dressed. Those sorts of mundane choices tend to be inconsequential, and I don’t want to waste precious time micromanaging your microdecisions.

      Instead, I want us to concentrate on those everyday choices that can have real-world significance. The ones that have the potential to impact the trajectory of your entire life.

      Daily decisions, like:

       Will you choose to pursue God today? Or will you choose to stand in opposition to him?

       Will you walk in the upright way of wisdom? Or will you take the easy route like a fool and walk on the path of the wicked?

       Will you focus your romantic interests toward the right woman? Or will you blur the lines of your integrity with forbidden lusts?

       Will you make the effort to earn self-respect? Or will you waste your time chasing worthless pursuits?

      These are everyday choices that every man must make. And believe it or not, your overall success or failure in life depends on how you handle these daily decisions.

      A lifestyle that emphasizes good choices can lead to real success, while a series of bad choices can lead to untimely ruin. I learned this lesson early in life when I saw the movie Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. I was an eleven-year-old boy when this movie came to theaters in the summer of 1989. And to this day, the climactic scene involving Indy, the Nazi stooge, the beautiful-but-untrustworthy СКАЧАТЬ