500 of the Best Cockney War Stories. Various

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СКАЧАТЬ his determination and Cockney courage, my pal throws himself into a position in which he can work the gun. Crack! and Crack! again: the remaining Germans are brought down.

      I am weak with loss of blood, but I am still able to drag my pal with me, and, aided by his determination, we get through. It seems we are at peace with the world. But, alas, when only five yards from our trenches a shell bursts beside us; I have a stinging pain in my shoulder and cannot move! Machine-guns and rifles are playing hell.

      My pal, though mortally wounded, still tries to drag me to our trench. He reaches the parapet … Zip … Zip. The first has missed, but the second gets him. It is a fatal shot, and, though in the greatest agony, he manages to give me a message to his folks. …

      He died at my side, unrewarded by man. The stretcher-bearer told me that he had five bullet-holes in him. He lies in France to-day, and I owe my life to him, and again I pay homage to his memory and to him as one of England's greatest heroes—a Valiant Son of London.—John Batten (late Rifleman, 13 Bn., K.R.R.C.), 50 Sussex Gardens, Hyde Park, W.2.

A Hint to the Brigadier

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      Alec Lancaster was a showman at the White City in pre-war days. Short in stature, he possessed a mighty heart, and in the ghastly days in front of Poelcapelle he made history as the sergeant who took command of a brigadier.

      The brigadier had been on a visit to the front line to inspect a new belt of wire and, passing the—— headquarters, paused to look around.

      Just then a few shells came over in quick succession and things looked nasty.

      Alec Lancaster took command and guided the brigadier somewhat forcibly into a dug-out with the laconic, "Nah, then. We don't want any dead brigadiers rahnd 'ere."—Geo. B. Fuller, 146 Rye Road, Hoddesdon, Herts.

"Salvage? Yus, Me!"

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      On the third day of the German offensive in March 1918 a certain brigade of the R.F.A. was retiring on Péronne.

      A driver, hailing from London town, was in charge of the cook's cart, which contained officers' kits belonging to the headquarters' staff.

      As he was making his way along a "pip-squeak" came over and burst practically beneath the vehicle and blew the whole issue to pieces. The driver had a miraculous escape.

      When he recovered from the shock he ruefully surveyed the debris, and after deciding that nothing could be done, continued his journey on foot into Péronne.

      Just outside that town he was met by the Adjutant, who said, "Hullo, driver, what's happened—where's cook's cart with the kits?"

      Driver: Blown up, sir.

      Adjutant (anxiously): Anything salved?

      Driver: Yus, sir, me!—F. H. Seabright, 12 Broomhill Road, Goodmayes, Essex.

Almost Self-inflicted

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      The London (47th) Division, after a strenuous time on the Somme in September 1916, were sent to Ypres for a quiet (?) spell, the depleted ranks being made up by reserves from home who joined us en route.

      The 18th Battalion (London Irish), were informed on taking the line that their opponents were men of the very same German regiment as they had opposed and vanquished at High Wood.

      Soon after "stand down" the following morning Rifleman S—— mounted the fire-step and, cupping his hands to his mouth, shouted, "Compree 'Igh Wood, Fritz?"

      The words had hardly left his lips when zip, a sniper's bullet knocked his tin hat off his head and Rifleman S—— found himself lying on the duckboards with blood running down his face.

      Picking himself up, he calmly gathered his souvenirs together and said as he made his way out, "Cheerio, boys, I've got a Blighty one, but don't tell the colonel it was self-inflicted."—A. C. B., Ilford, Essex.

Nobby's 1,000 to 1 Chance

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      Our division (the Third) was on its way from the line for the long-looked-for rest. We were doing it by road in easy stages.

      During a halt a pack animal (with its load of two boxes of "·303") became restive and bolted. One box fell off and was being dragged by the lashing. Poor old Nobby Clarke, who had been out since Mons, stopped the box with his leg, which was broken below the knee.

      As he was being carried away one of the stretcher-bearers said, "Well, Nobby, you've got a Blighty one at last."

      "Yus," said Nobby; "but it took a fousand rahnds to knock me over."—H. Krepper (late 5th Fusiliers), 62 Anerley Road, Upper Norwood, S.E. 19.

That Derby Scheme

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      The Commanding Officer of a Territorial battalion was wounded in both hands during the third battle of Gaza in 1917. He had much service to his credit, was a lieutenant-colonel of over two years' standing, had been wounded twice before, and held the D.S.O.

      He pluckily remained with his unit for thirty-six hours. Then, worn out with lack of sleep, pain, and loss of blood, and filled with disappointment at having to leave his battalion still in the fight, he trudged back to the field ambulance.

      His sufferings, which had aged his appearance, and the Tommy's tunic which he wore in action, apparently misled a party of 10th London men whom he passed. They looked sympathetically at him, and one said, "Poor old blighter, 'e ought never to 'ave been called up."—Captain J. Finn, M.C., Constitutional Club, W.C.2.

"Shoo-Shoo-Shooting"

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      There were no proper trenches in front of Armentières in early December 1914, and a machine gun section was doing its best to build an emplacement and cover. It was in the charge of a young Londoner who in times of excitement stuttered badly.

      Not being satisfied with the position of one sandbag, he hopped over those already in place, and in full view of Jerry (it was daylight too), began to adjust the sandbag that displeased him.

      Jerry immediately turned a machine gun on him, but the young officer finished his work, and then stood up.

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