Miracle Christmas. Shirley Jump

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СКАЧАТЬ to witness her vomiting, now he was being treated to a fit of self-pity.

      ‘Hush,’ he crooned softly as he rose to wet a washcloth and then gently wipe her blotchy face.

      Rilla felt the reviving effects of the cool cloth instantly and her sobs soon died to the odd hiccoughy breath. ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered, almost falling into his soft velvet gaze.

      ‘Hey, it’s OK,’ Luca whispered, and drew her head onto his shoulder while he continued to rub her back.

      Rilla became conscious then of what he was wearing. Or rather what he wasn’t wearing. He had on a pair of boxers and that was it. Her head lay against his bare shoulder and she had a bird’s-eye view of his magnificent chest and flat abs. His powerful thighs thrust out before him were a pleasure to look at and she knew what lay beneath those boxers was just as enticing.

      ‘Finished?’ Luca asked.

      Rilla’s gaze pulled away from his crotch guiltily, before she realised he was asking her if she was done with the toilet. Her heart slammed in her chest and she felt like her entire body was bounding to its beat. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

      ‘Come on, then,’ Luca said, helping her to her feet. ‘Go back to bed. I’ll bring you something to eat.’

      ‘Oh, no, Luca, I’m not sure I can eat anything,’ she protested as she leaned heavily against him.

      ‘Hey,’ Luca said looking down at her. ‘Tea and dry toast. Pregnant women swear by it.’

      Rilla saw the look of determination in his gaze and was mesmerised by the old Luca she saw there. The one she’d fallen in love with. Before he’d withdrawn. Before the distance.

      She nodded. It wouldn’t hurt to try, would it? And if it helped the morning sickness, she was willing to give anything a go.

      Rilla crawled into bed and shut her eyes, letting the glorious ecstasy of feeling normal swamp her. She was still a bit shaky but the nausea was gone.

      ‘Here you are,’ Luca announced ten minutes later.

      Rilla opened her eyes to find him bearing a tray. He’d put a shirt on, for which she was both pleased and perversely disappointed. He placed it on the bed and sat down beside it.

      She eyed the dry toast dubiously but took a nibble at Luca’s insistent nod. She took a sip of the sweet milky tea and was surprised to feel the fine trembling of her hands settle almost immediately.

      ‘You’re not going to work today,’ Luca said, eyeing her as he bit into a crumbly croissant.

      Rilla coveted the divine-smelling pastry but doubted whether her delicate system was up to it. ‘Of course I am,’ she said, taking another nibble of toast. ‘I feel better already.’

      ‘You don’t want to overdo it,’ Luca lectured.

      ‘Luca, I could very well be sick the entire pregnancy.’ Rilla paused, horrified at the prospect. ‘I can’t take every day off work because of it. Plenty of women have to manage morning sickness with their work responsibilities. And now the NUM position is mine, I have to lead by example.’

      Luca stopped chewing. ‘You got the job?’

      Rilla grinned at him and nodded. ‘Yesterday was a big-news day.’

      ‘Oh, that’s fantastic, Rilla,’ Luca enthused. He placed the croissant back on the plate and pulled her towards him for a quick congratulatory peck on each cheek. He knew how long she’d been after that job. After the miscarriage, after they’d drifted apart, it had become her sole focus. ‘Why didn’t you say something?’

      Rilla lost the thread of the conversation for a moment as her senses took leave, due to his European-style, completely asexual kiss. She blinked and picked up the thread again.

      ‘To be perfectly honest, I felt so rough and then with everything else that happened last night, it completely slipped my mind.’

      Luca grinned back. ‘Fair enough.’

      They munched at their breakfast for a few more moments. ‘Will being pregnant make a difference to getting the job?’ he asked.

      Rilla shrugged. She wouldn’t have thought so but, then, she hadn’t really had a chance to consider it. ‘They’ve offered it to me. They can’t un-offer it because I’m having a baby.’

      Luca nodded. He thought about how hard she’d been working the last month and felt a niggle of worry.

      ‘You will take it easy, wont you? The NUM job is going to be really stressful. I don’t want … I’d hate for …’ Luca struggled to find the right words without apportioning blame or placing guilt. They’d both done more than enough of that last time.

      He ran a hand through his hair. ‘I don’t think I could go through another miscarriage.’

      And she could? She looked into his worried gaze. ‘Working had nothing to do with last time, Luca,’ she said gently.

      Neither had her insistence that she was perfectly capable of filling the car with petrol or persuading a reluctant Luca to make love just hours before she’d started cramping. But in the aftermath they’d dissected every little thing they had done and not done, searching for a meaning to it all.

      And when they hadn’t been able to find one, their individual guilt had driven them apart and they’d sought solace in their work instead of each other. Maybe seven years down the track it would be possible to forgive themselves and start anew.

      Rilla placed her hand over his. ‘I think it’s time we both acknowledged it was something that happened that was beyond our control. That one in four pregnancies ends that way.’

      Luca looked down at her hand on his. Of course she was right. Medically, he couldn’t fault her. But a part of him, the Latin male part of him, would always feel he’d been tardy in his job to protect her. To protect his child.

      He’d sworn as a boy growing up with an absent father that he would always be there for his child. And yet, when it had mattered, he hadn’t been able to protect them. He had failed.

      ‘I know. I was wrong to pull away from you. It was hard … harder than I ever thought. I didn’t know what to do or say to you. Work was easier,’ he admitted.

      Rilla blinked, not expecting such frankness. Why hadn’t he been able to say this to her back then? When their love had still been salvageable. Seven years of silence had inflicted more damage on their relationship than frosty communication or outright war.

      ‘We both made mistakes, Luca,’ she sighed, releasing his hand. ‘We rushed into everything. Sex, living together, marriage. We didn’t spend time getting to know each other, building a foundation that could take such a big hit so early in the piece.’

      She picked up her toast and took a few nibbles. Luca watched her as she sipped at her tea. He picked his croissant up too and then put it down uneaten, wiping the flakes off his fingers.

      He cleared his throat nervously. He’d lain awake most of the night, going over and over the situation. He’d forged a plan. It was crazy and he had no idea if she’d СКАЧАТЬ