Carry The Light. Delia Parr

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СКАЧАТЬ from her criticisms. She slipped the chocolate kiss into her mouth and let it begin to melt slowly against the inside of her cheek.

      “I’m talking as loud as I can manage,” her mother replied. “I’m sick, which you would have known if you’d bothered to call me today.”

      Ellie straightened her back and swallowed the last of the chocolate kiss. “But I just talked to you last night. You were fine then. What—”

      “I know I was fine. Until this morning. I feel awful. My neck hurts and my jaw hurts and my chest hurts. I called Dr. Stafford’s office and told the receptionist that I think I have the flu. He can see me this afternoon at four o’clock, but I just don’t think I can make it there by myself. I’m feeling too weak. I need you to take me,” she whined.

      She went on before Ellie could respond. “Unless you’re too busy. Then I’ll have to take a cab. I’m sure the driver won’t mind helping me into the cab or waiting for me while I’m at the doctor’s office. Phyllis’s daughter always takes her to the doctor’s for her appointments, but then, her daughter has the sense to not be working anymore. She’s retired now, you know, so she can spend a lot of time with her mother, not that you would consider retiring—”

      “I’ll take you. Of course, I’ll take you,” Ellie insisted, interrupting before she was compared unfavorably, again, to her mother’s friend’s near-perfect daughter.

      Resigned, Ellie gave up any idea of taking a catnap this afternoon between the end of the school day at three and the start of parent conferences at six-thirty. Despite her contentious relationship with her mother, she did not resent her responsibilities as an only child. Taking her eighty-five-year-old mother to the doctor had become a frequent task in the past year.

      Assuming Dr. Stafford saw her mother on time, which he usually did, and assuming her mother prolonged her appointment for a good fifteen minutes by arguing with the doctor, which she usually did, Ellie would be able to take her mother home, pick up whatever prescription she might need at the pharmacy, bring it back to her mother’s home, and still be on time for parent conferences tonight.

      Unfortunately, dinner did not fit into this scheme, which meant Ellie would have to rely on the teachers’ traditional cookie tray for sustenance tonight—if someone in the administration had remembered to order it.

      “I’ll probably need you to stop at the store for ginger ale, too. I’ll have to drink lots of clear fluids if I have the flu,” her mother said.

      “I took you for your flu shot, Mother, remember?” Ellie asked, rather than point out that flu season was nearly over.

      “Certainly I remember. I’m old, Ellie, but I’m not senile. And just because I had a flu shot doesn’t mean I don’t have the flu. Last year, Alice Williams got the flu shot and she came down with the flu, if you’ll recall.”

      “I can pick you up at quarter to four,” Ellie replied choosing not to continue the argument. “Is that all right or do you need me to come over now?” she asked, with one eye on the mound of paperwork and the other on those two chocolate kisses sitting on top of her desk.

      “Quarter to four is fine, but only if you’re on time.”

      Ellie pursed her lips, cradled the telephone against her shoulder and slowly unwrapped another kiss. “I’ll be on time.”

      “Well, I certainly can’t do anything about it if you’re not. With all the responsibilities you’ve had at school for the past umpteen years, I can’t imagine how you’ve survived without learning to be more punctual. Unless it’s just because I’m not important enough—”

      “I’ll be there. Quarter to four,” Ellie interrupted again. She waited until she heard her mother hang up, then popped the kiss into her mouth.

      Enduring her mother’s criticism was nothing new for Ellie. She honestly could not remember a single moment in all of her sixty years when she had truly pleased her mother. Rose Hutchinson had already lived a long and full life, and Ellie reminded herself that each day her mother was here was a gift. Each day, however, was also one more day for Ellie to be reminded again of how she had disappointed the one person who mattered most: her mother.

      She bowed her head and knitted her hands together. She prayed for patience, for strength and guidance, so that she might find the path that would lead her to discovering the love and acceptance she still desperately wanted from her mother.

      At four o’clock, Ellie and her mother were sitting in Dr. Stafford’s office. Dressed conservatively in black slacks, a black top and a plaid blazer, Ellie was also still wearing the sensible, lace-up oxfords she wore to school every day. In contrast, her mother had chosen to wear a bright aqua dress, calf-length and ultra-feminine, which did little to complement her full figure, along with pumps, a matching handbag and costume jewelry that included a large turquoise brooch, bracelet and dangling earrings.

      Half an hour later, after Dr. Stafford had examined Rose Hutchinson and rendered a tentative diagnosis, Ellie fervently wished that her mother indeed had the flu. “Are you sure?” she asked the doctor. “Mother has absolutely no history of heart trouble, and her cholesterol level has been dropping since she started her new medication. When I talked to her earlier today, she wasn’t complaining about pain in her chest or arm. Aren’t those the signs that would have told us—”

      “Don’t argue with the man,” her mother interrupted, as if she reserved that right exclusively for herself. “He’s the doctor. If he thinks I had a heart attack and I need to go to the hospital, then it’s best if I go—even though I’m not convinced he’s right, mind you. If you’re worried about getting back to school in time for those conferences, you can drop me off at the emergency room. Or I can always go by ambulance, can’t I, Dr. Stafford?”

      “I do think getting you to the hospital as soon as possible would be best,” he said firmly, repeating his earlier recommendation, “although I don’t think it’s necessary to call for an ambulance.”

      “I’ll drive her to the hospital right away and stay with her,” Ellie replied, clarifying her intentions.

      “Good. I’ll call ahead so they’re waiting for you,” the doctor said. “Now remember, I’m sending you to the hospital as a precaution, Mrs. Hutchinson. I don’t want you or your daughter to jump to conclusions or to panic. The only way we’ll know for certain if you suffered a mild heart attack earlier today is to get you checked out thoroughly.” He looked at Ellie. “Not everyone has the classic symptoms you described, especially women, but based on what you’ve told me and what I’ve observed during my examination, I think we should be cautious and let the hospital run a few tests.”

      Ellie watched as he and her mother bantered back and forth for a few minutes. After treating her for nearly thirty years, Dr. Stafford knew exactly how to handle Rose Hutchinson, a skill Ellie sorely needed.

      He smiled at one of her mother’s heated rejoinders. “I suppose it’s possible you’ve got the flu. Let’s find out, shall we? If you’re right and I’m wrong, I’ll make it up to you,” he promised.

      Her mother’s eyes lit up. “How?”

      “I’ll make another donation to the Shawl Ministry at church.”

      “We do need the wool,” her mother replied, and looked at Ellie for confirmation.

      Ellie nodded. Working together СКАЧАТЬ