Coach to Coach. Martin Rooney

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4 Cup of Coffee

After practice, Brian needed somewhere to clear his head before going home. With all the long hours of coaching, there was rarely time to decompress before walking into his own house. As a result, Kelly and the kids would often take the brunt of the emotions that were reflected by the challenges of the day.

      To decompress, some of the other coaches would hit the bar. Brian, not being a big drinker, usually chose the Trackside Diner instead. Although Brian wasn't regularly taking in too many calories drinking, the patty melts at Trackside were starting to add up around his waistline.

      Brian pulled up, grabbed a seat in a booth and ordered without even looking at the menu. With his head in his hands, he realized aside from his associates at work and family at home, he was alone.

      “Is this seat taken?” asked a voice from above Brian.

      As he dragged his hands from his eyes and looked up, he saw the same old man from the tunnel standing in front of him.

      “Hey, it's you,” said Brian, surprised. “I mean, hello and I'm glad I ran into you. Before you say anything, I wanted to apologize for the way I kinda came at you the other night after the game.”

      “De nada, kid,” replied the old man. “It was actually my fault. I shouldn't have stirred you up like that. I know how emotional it can be after a loss. I should have known better. I'm just glad you didn't take a swing at me!” the old man said with a laugh.

      “Ha!” said Brian. “From the way you responded, I think for some reason you might have been ready for me. But please forgive me for that. And by all means have a seat. God knows I could use a little company right now.”

The old man sat down and said, “So tell me what's going on.”

      This simple question disarmed Brian and he let it all out. The team, Kelly and the kids, the confrontation with Marcus, everything. After patiently listening to Brian's whole story, the old man said, “Thanks for sharing all of that. It took courage to be so honest and open about your challenges. That's the first step toward working on them. Now that we have those out of the way, I think I have a few ideas that could help you if you want.”

      “Besides the company, I could sure use some help right now, too,” replied Brian.

      “Great,” said the old man. “Then it's time for the first of a number of big questions before I can teach you anything.”

      “Well, shoot, because I'm ready,” said Brian.

      “Where is it that you want to go?” said the old man.

      “Like to a place on vacation or something?” asked Brian.

      “No,” said the old man with a smile. “What is your ultimate goal in life? What do you want to achieve? What is it that you really want or want to be known for?”

      It had been a long time since Brian had thought about those questions. He had spent so much time working lately, he had forgotten to do any work on himself. Actually, he didn't even know what he wanted anymore. Maybe he never did.

      Recognizing he was stumped, the old man said, “Looks like you have a classic problem that affects men…You are afraid to ask for directions! Until you know where you want to go, it's really going to be impossible to help get you there.”

“Don't get me wrong,” Brian said. “There are things that I want. For instance, I want to make more money and be able to give my family the things they deserve.”

      “More money?” said the old man.

      “Yes,” replied Brian.

      “Well, how much?” countered the old man and again Brian was stuck with nothing to say. “I think this is a perfect time for an old story I heard that might help you. Would you like to hear it?”

      “Do I have a choice?” Brian asked with a smile.

      “No, wise guy,” said the old man with a wink, and he started in on his story as if he were a narrator of a play. “There was a group of successful alumni from an elite university who got together one day to meet with the professor who had taught them so much many years ago. When they were all assembled, the professor was proud to see many of his most successful students again, but was upset when many of them spent the whole time complaining about the current stress and demands of their high-class lifestyles. That was when the professor realized it was time for another lesson. He asked the students if they would like some of his famous brewed coffee and they all answered, ‘yes.’ He told them to go into the kitchen and pick one of the coffee cups from his cabinet and get some coffee.

“When the students opened the cabinet they saw a wide range of coffee mugs, from a simple plastic style to regular mugs with cities or quotes on them to vessels that seemed to have great value. Trying to outdo one another, the students started reaching for the best and most expensive mugs, and as they did, some even started arguing over getting a cheaper cup than their colleague. Then, while the smiling professor was watching all of this, he delivered the lesson.

      “‘My students,’ he said, ‘what was it that you came in here for again?’ Although the students thought it was the cups, one bright student smiled and answered, ‘Coffee.’ ‘Yes,’ said the old professor, ‘yet it seems you all have forgotten that and are stressing and fighting over the cup instead. Although right now at this stage of your life you may be measuring yourself by having the best things in life, I want you to recognize that this material desire is also creating your stress and unhappiness. The important things you really want from life are like coffee. The cup you select doesn't add to or subtract from the quality of the coffee. In fact, it only covers it up, just like the houses and cars and careers you try to surround yourself with. So, I'm not telling you not to chase the finer things in life. I'm just reminding you not to lose sight of enjoying the aspects of your life that you consider the coffee.'”

      “That's a powerful story there,” said Brian.

      “Ha, don't get me started,” said the old man. “I have a lot of those. Telling stories is a great way to get your point across. Speaking of points, you see,” said the old man, “you don't have direction. You are just like most people out there. They all have the same wishes and dreams for things that end up causing them stress while they miss out on the important things in life. News flash, kid. Everyone wants more money and to take care of their family. They all want a nice house and to travel and maybe to have some fame, too. In order for any of that to happen, you have to be crystal clear on the thing that is going to get you fired up to make it happen.”

      “Well, how do I do that?” asked Brian.

“With what I call a little enthusiasm СКАЧАТЬ