Damaged, A Baby’s Cry and The Night the Angels Came 3-in-1 Collection. Cathy Glass

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СКАЧАТЬ children, or even acknowledged they were there. This was hardly surprising, as she barely interacted with me. Instead, she would swing up and down, muttering or singing to herself, until it was time to leave. She was the same when we tried to play sociable games at home; she preferred to play by herself, in her own little world.

      On the few occasions she did initiate contact with other children, it was usually out of curiosity. She would see a smaller child doing something interesting, or wearing something that caught her eye, so she would walk over and stand in front of them, and stare at their chest; she still had a complete aversion to eye contact. Understandably, the other children would find this quite intimidating, although this didn’t seem to be Jodie’s intention. Nonetheless, it often led to a scene, with the child running to its mother to complain about ‘that girl’.

      On one occasion, we were in the playground, and a young father came in with his two daughters. There’s an area in the playground for very young children, as these two were, so that was where they went to play. For some reason, this piqued Jodie’s interest, so she followed them over and stood there watching as they clambered over the castle-shaped climbing frame. I was a few metres away, keeping an eye on her. At one point, one of the girls was coming down the slide, and Jodie went over to watch, and stood a bit too close to the bottom so that she was in the little girl’s way. The girls’ father marched across, put his hands on Jodie’s shoulders and said, ‘Come on now, out of the way.’

      I thought this was a little over the top, but I came over quickly and apologized to him. ‘Sorry about that. Come on Jodie, come and play on the swings.’

      We turned and walked away, and as we did the man shouted after us, ‘You want to learn to keep your daughter under control.’

      This was definitely uncalled for, but I didn’t respond, and Jodie and I carried on playing. A few minutes later a smartly dressed, middle-aged lady came into the playground, and headed purposefully towards us.

      ‘Excuse me,’ she said to me, ‘this is Jodie, isn’t it?’ She leaned down towards Jodie and smiled. ‘Hello, Jodie, it’s lovely to see you again.’ Jodie looked at her, and carried on swinging lazily. She held out her hand to me. ‘Hi, sorry, I’m Fiona. I used to be Jodie’s teacher.’

      I shook her hand. ‘Hello there, I’m Cathy. I’m Jodie’s foster carer.’ I usually wouldn’t mention that I was a foster carer, for fear of embarrassing the child, but in this case it seemed safe to assume that Jodie’s teacher would know she had been taken into care. ‘How long did you teach Jodie for?’

      ‘A year,’ Fiona replied. She smiled at Jodie. Jodie looked back at her, blankly. Did she even recognize her? I wondered.

      ‘I must say,’ Fiona continued, ‘it’s nice to see Jodie looking so well, and so clean. It looks like you’re doing an excellent job.’

      ‘Oh, thank you,’ I replied. ‘Yes, we’re plodding along, aren’t we, sweet?’

      Jodie nodded her head, not really understanding.

      ‘How long has she been with you?’ asked Fiona.

      ‘A few months now. She had a number of carers before me, but it looks like she’s settled now.’

      ‘Oh good. I’m sure that’s just what she needs. Well, I’ll let you get on and enjoy your afternoon. Jodie, it was really lovely to see you, and nice to meet you, Cathy.’

      She left, and I stood on the grass verge, watching Jodie play. The father of the young girls started walking towards me, and my anxiety level rose.

      ‘Excuse me,’ he said. ‘I don’t want to bother you. I just wanted to apologize for my tone.’

      ‘Oh, right,’ I said, relieved. ‘Well, it doesn’t matter.’

      ‘I overheard you say you were a foster carer, but I’d just assumed she was your daughter.’

      ‘Not to worry. Sorry we were in the way.’

      He smiled apologetically, and walked back to his girls.

      As we walked home, I marvelled at the double standards. As a foster parent, you often have to deal with strangers who are quick to blame you for a child’s difficult behaviour. If they find out you’re fostering, however, they suddenly take a very different view. But why do they feel the need to criticize in the first place? Being a parent of any kind is difficult enough, without having to deal with strangers’ condemnation.

      A few days later, I received a call from the headmaster of Elmacre: he said he was very sorry, but they couldn’t offer Jodie a place. My spirits sank, but he then explained that he had a colleague at a different school who might be able to offer a place. The colleague was Adam West, of Abbey Green School, and he had now been given my details and would shortly be in touch. I thanked him effusively, and with a grin on my face relayed the good news to Jodie.

      ‘Not going,’ she replied. ‘Hate school. Hate you. Hate everything.’ She stuck out her tongue, and stamped down the hall.

Chapter Fifteen Past and Present

      Iwas woken at around 2 a.m. by screams from Jodie’s room. I pulled on my dressing gown, and staggered along the corridor, feeling like I’d only just gone to sleep. I gave the door the usual quick knock, and went straight in. Jodie was lying in bed, holding the duvet over her head, clutching it tightly with her fingers. I sat on the edge of the bed, and Jodie stopped screaming. ‘What’s the matter, love?’ I asked.

      ‘It’s the eyes!’ she moaned, terrified.

      ‘What eyes, sweet? Come out from under there so I can give you a hug.’

      ‘No! They’re everywhere. The eyes in the walls, staring at me.’

      I put my hand on the duvet where her feet were, to try and comfort her. ‘Jodie, love, I know you’re scared, but it’s your imagination. There are no eyes here. No one’s watching you. Please give me a hug.’

      ‘They’re here!’ she shouted back. ‘I can see them, coming at me! I’m not stupid. Make them stop, Cathy!’

      ‘Jodie, shush,’ I said firmly. ‘Now come out from under there, and I’ll show you. There’s nothing there, I promise. I’m here with you, and I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, would I? I’m here to protect you, that’s my job, isn’t that right?’

      She fell silent for a second, and then loosened her grip on the duvet. I eased it down, and she clambered up and hugged me.

      ‘Now look, Jodie. You see, there’s nothing there.’ I walked over to the wall, and rubbed my hand across it. ‘See? There’s no one here.’ I sat back down on the bed. Jodie’s cheeks were red, and her forehead was hot and sweaty. She was genuinely scared; whatever these visions were, they were very real to her. What had started as straightforward nightmares had gradually developed into something closer to hallucinations. Increasingly now, when I went in to her room to comfort her, I would find her in a strange state that seemed somewhere between sleeping and waking; sometimes it would seem as if she were awake but still trapped inside her nightmare. I couldn’t tell if she was truly aware of what was happening but it seemed that whatever she was seeing was taking on a greater reality.

      ‘Will you СКАЧАТЬ