I Am Not a Number. Lisa Heathfield

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СКАЧАТЬ instead. ‘I reckon if they could all vote again tomorrow, loads of women would change their mind. Because it’s not like the Trads were completely honest in their campaign, were they?’

      ‘No one ever is.’

      ‘They talked about strengthening the family unit, but there was no mention of banning new mums from work.’

      Luke doesn’t answer. There’s just the faint scratch of his pencil.

      ‘Sara chose a green band,’ I say.

      ‘I know.’

      ‘How could she? Her parents voted Trad, but she should know better. I thought she was stronger than that.’

      ‘People are scared.’

      ‘To stand up for what’s right?’

      ‘Yes. When there are guns involved. Definitely.’

      I take another biscuit. ‘These are disgusting.’

      ‘You need to stay still.’

      ‘I’ll keep my legs still. Draw them while I’m eating. Or better still,’ I say, hitching my skirt even higher. ‘Eat my legs while you draw.’

      ‘Rubes.’ Luke looks pained. ‘It’s difficult enough for me to focus as it is.’

      ‘Don’t then,’ I say. ‘Come and join me here.’

      ‘I will,’ Luke says. ‘When I’ve finished this.’

      I pout at him, but I know it won’t make any difference, so I settle myself as comfortable as I can to wait it out.

      ‘I feel bad that I didn’t go home with Lilli,’ I say. ‘If she didn’t go to a friend’s she’ll be at home worrying about what I think. Whether I’m going to tell Mum or Darren.’ I pick at the carpet in front of me.

      ‘Are they both at work?’

      The door to our hut suddenly slams open. I sit up and grab the Core band from my forehead as a soldier walks in.

      ‘What’s going on here?’ He doesn’t look at Luke, only at me, his eyes going from my face to my bare legs. Luke starts to get up. ‘Don’t move,’ the soldier shouts.

      ‘We’re just hanging out,’ Luke says, raising his hands with his palms facing out. I don’t know how he speaks. My voice has wound itself tight round the trigger of the soldier’s gun.

      ‘You’re indecent,’ the man says to me. My legs burn under his glare and I try to pull the skirt longer.

      ‘We weren’t doing anything,’ Luke says. I don’t look at him again, but I can hear fear flickering in his words.

      ‘Where’s your ID?’ the soldier asks.

      ‘In my bag,’ Luke tells him.

      ‘Get it.’

      Luke goes from his chair to the wall. He has to turn his back on the soldier as he picks up his bag. In the front pocket is his ID – the one everyone over the age of thirteen now has to carry. Luke walks the few steps across the hut floor and hands it over. The soldier scans it, before he throws it back.

      ‘Now yours.’ He uses his gun to point at me and my brain switches blank. All I can see is how close the trigger is. How I could blink and it will all be over.

      ‘Ruby,’ Luke says. ‘He needs your ID.’ He nods at me calmly, even though panic must be biting every cell in his body.

      ‘Fine,’ I say. I stand up and pull my skirt to its normal length, but even though it reaches my knees now, I feel completely exposed. I try to stop my hands shaking as I unzip my bag. I’m determined not to show the soldier that I’m afraid as I hand him my ID, looking him hard in the eyes. He stares at my card, then scans it before he hands it back.

      ‘I’ll escort you from here,’ the soldier says. ‘It’s clearly an unsuitable place for two young, unmarried people to be. You won’t be coming back.’

      If he didn’t have that gun I’d thump him. Or at least swear at him or something. Instead, like obedient lambs, Luke and I head towards the door.

      ‘You’ve forgotten something,’ the soldier says. He jerks his head towards Luke’s Core band on the floor. ‘Or you could put it in the bin and choose the option of a better future.’

      ‘No thanks,’ Luke says, as he bends down to pick it up and pulls it up his arm.

      ‘Put on yours,’ the soldier tells me. There’s a strong part of me that wants to hide it in my bag, to deny my beliefs and make my life easier, just for a moment. But I pull the Core band up my arm too.

      ‘I’ll follow you out,’ the soldier says.

      I hear him close the door to our hut. Luke and I walk side by side, our hands almost touching. The tunnel through the trees doesn’t feel safe any more. The air is cold. The soldier walks behind us, his boots heavy on the leaves. I don’t think he walks on the railway line, but I wish he would. I wish they’d suddenly turn it on and send a thousand volts through his Trad body.

      He’s close behind us, but I can feel his gun as though it’s pressing on my back. Pressing between my shoulder blades, the tip of it boring into my skin. The bullet released.

      ‘We’re okay,’ Luke whispers. I nod and look ahead.

      We reach the broken part of the fence and I crawl through it, knowing that the soldier watches every part of me. Luke follows and holds back the wire mesh for the soldier, who looks vulnerable as he crawls on his hands and knees. A little boy, just for a moment, before he stands up tall again.

      ‘I’ve got all your details now,’ he says, tapping the scanner at his side. ‘Both your names, where you live. Your families.’ He looks at each of us. ‘We’ll be watching you.’

      We walk up through the long grass.

      ‘Go straight home,’ Luke whispers to me.

      ‘You too.’

      I want to kiss him but daren’t even touch his hand. Instead, I turn and start to run, my feet hard on the pavement. I don’t stop until I’m home.

      Mum is already in the kitchen. My blood is still stumbling from that soldier’s close breath. She puts down the kettle when she sees me.

      ‘You’ve got one too,’ she says, touching the Core band on my arm. ‘They came into work.’ She takes off her coat and there’s a band of purple on top of her nurse’s uniform. ‘Apparently it’s just in our area, though.’

      ‘What do you mean?’

      ‘We’re being used as some sort of trial. If it works they’ll make the rest of the country wear them.’

      ‘Brilliant,’ I say.

      ‘Did they make Lilli choose?’ she asks, as she puts her coat over the СКАЧАТЬ