Flight of a Starling. Lisa Heathfield

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СКАЧАТЬ I regret it as soon as I say it. I don’t want them walking into our world.

      ‘I’m Dean,’ the boy nearest us says. He puts out his hand to shake mine, all formal. I have to take my fingers from the water and wipe the wet across my jeans.

      Dean. I take his name and wrap it and unwrap it in my head.

      ‘Lo,’ I say.

      ‘Is that your real name?’ he asks.

      ‘No. Laura is.’ He doesn’t speak, but he nods his head and has a smile that says he likes it. ‘This is Rita,’ I say and he shakes her hand too, staring right into her eyes in a way that makes my stomach flip with jealousy.

      ‘I’m Will,’ the boy next to him says, leaning across to shake Rita’s hand and then mine.

      ‘Paul,’ the boy with the earring says, tipping his finger to his forehead in a mini salute.

      ‘What’s it like then, this town?’ I ask, as Spider shuffles his feet and Ash steps even closer to Rita’s side.

      ‘It’s all right,’ Will says. ‘What’s it like in the circus?’

      ‘It’s all right.’ I mimic his words.

      ‘It’s everything,’ Rita says.

      Dean sort of squints at the pair of us.

      ‘Are you two sisters?’ he asks.

      ‘Rita’s the eldest,’ I say.

      ‘Only by eleven months,’ she reminds me.

      ‘And the sensibillist.’

      ‘Is that even a word, Lo?’ Rita laughs.

      Dean wears a denim jacket that looks battered by too many years. Underneath it, his white T-shirt is clean. His fingernails are cut properly and clean too. Ma would approve, if he wasn’t a flattie.

      ‘Are you brothers?’ I smile at all of them.

      ‘Nah,’ Will says. ‘I’m too good-looking to be related to them.’

      A group of girls walk past, their heels clicking on the concrete. I like their laughter. It almost swallows them whole.

      ‘What’s it really like?’ The look Dean gives me swoops down into my bones. ‘Travelling all the time?’

      ‘It’s what we know,’ I say. I won’t tell these strangers how sometimes I wonder if I want more. That maybe the circus isn’t always enough.

      ‘It’s home,’ Ash says.

      ‘But you’re always moving.’

      ‘The outside isn’t home. It’s the inside,’ Rita says. ‘Inside the vans and inside us.’

      ‘We like it,’ Ash says from next to her. He hovers like a crow.

      ‘I think you’re lucky,’ Paul says. He’s perched on the end, leaning far enough forwards so the conversation reaches him.

      ‘So do we,’ Rita says.

      ‘What’s it like staying in one place all the time?’ I ask.

      ‘Boring,’ chips in Will. ‘I wouldn’t mind coming with you.’ The way his eyes are on me makes me feel naked.

      ‘We don’t let just anybody in,’ Ash says.

      ‘Were you born into it then?’ Dean asks. I feel safer with him looking at me.

      ‘Yes,’ I say. ‘And our ma and da before us.’

      ‘They’re circus born and bred?’ Will asks.

      ‘And proud of it,’ Ash tells him.

      ‘Why wouldn’t they be?’ Dean looks up at him. ‘It sounds like a good way of life.’ Ash only pushes his hands back into his pockets and shrugs.

      I put my hand palm-down into the water. I turn to kneel on the edge and then tip myself over. I splash into the cold wet, my feet the last to disappear.

      Under here, I can’t see or hear anyone. In the blackness, I feel the grainy floor of the fountain, my fingers brushing past circles of coins. When I can no longer breathe, I go back, my head breaking through the bubbles on the surface.

      ‘I’ve got one,’ I say, holding my hand high in the air.

      ‘What are you doing?’ Paul sounds uncertain as he looks around. I wipe the water from my eyes.

      ‘I had to get a lucky coin,’ I say. I pull my slippery self back on to the ledge and squeeze more water from me, the dragon’s fiery tongue dripping icy wet from my sleeve.

      The coin in my palm is a one pence piece.

      ‘It’ll protect you from this spooky town,’ Rita says, as I close my fingers round it, feeling my jeans cling cold to me now.

      ‘You think it’s a spooky town?’ Dean asks her, but he’s looking at me.

      ‘I like it here,’ I say.

      ‘You must be freezing, Lo,’ Rita says, ignoring him. She links her arm through mine and immediately I feel the fountain’s water sinking through my top.

      ‘Best get home,’ Spider says and as Rita gets up she pulls me with her.

      ‘It was nice to meet you,’ Dean says. He’s smiling at me.

      ‘And you,’ Rita says.

      ‘Will we see you again?’ he asks. The boys I know aren’t like him and I want to pull him with us and keep him close to me as the sky turns light.

      ‘Come to the show,’ I say before we walk away, the fountain’s water dripping from me, my lucky coin curled into my palm.

RITA

      ‘Your hair is still wet,’ I tell Lo. ‘Ma would kill you if she saw you going to bed like that.’

      ‘Then it’s a bit of luck we’ve got our own van,’ she says, squeezing her fringe tight in her hand. ‘Look, no drips. I’ll be fine.’

      She puts her clothes in our tiny bathroom, hanging crooked over the toilet seat.

      ‘Are you cold?’ I ask.

      ‘You’re fussing,’ Lo says, jumping into her bed and running her legs quick under her duvet. ‘I’m toasty as toast.’

      ‘What imaginative words you have,’ I laugh, pulling myself over the bottom rungs of our ladder to get into the bunk above her.

      ‘All the better to eat you СКАЧАТЬ