Dramas of a Teenage Heiress. Katy Birchall

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      SO, I walked up to Nancy Rose, with Fritz under my arm, and she was talking to someone about boring, non-evil, standard stuff, blah blah blah.

      ‘Flick Royale,’ she said as she noticed me, offering me her hand to shake. ‘I don’t think we’ve ever met. I’m Nancy Rose. I was just admiring this handbag – inspired by your dog, I believe.’

      ‘I overheard,’ I replied through gritted teeth, but shook her hand very politely because I have IMPECCABLE manners.

      ‘I was actually hoping to borrow it for this event I’m going to tomorrow. It’s for a dog charity and I —’

      ‘Actually, I was hoping to have it for an event FRITZ is going to tomorrow,’ I said quickly. ‘But Fritz is very glad you like it.’

      ‘Excuse me?’

      And that’s when she smiled at me, this really fake smile through her bright red lipstick as though she had stumbled upon something juicy for her column.

      ‘I said Fritz is very glad you like it.’

      ‘Before that, you said you would be using the bag tomorrow? Forgive me, but isn’t that up to the designer?’ she said, tilting her head as though talking to a baby. ‘Lewis often lends me first-off-the-line items for his collection, so that I can display them on my vlog, and I wouldn’t bother showing any item that has already been photographed on someone else. I don’t do sloppy seconds.’ She sniffed. ‘Especially after . . . a dog.’

      Fritz growled.

      ‘Fritz’s bag will be available for anyone to buy, it’s just that this particular handbag here on display was made especially for him because of the inscription,’ I explained, patiently. ‘I can show you if you —’

      ‘I don’t know if you know, Felicity, but my vlog is really very popular, so the things designers lend me get a lot of views and I doubt Lewis will want to miss that opportunity.’ She paused before doing that thin-lipped smile again. ‘Tell me, Flick, does Lewis Blume give you items for your vlog?’

      Then she picked up the handbag and let it hang daintily from her wrist, as though modelling it to the room.

      Which is when I kind of exploded. Because that comment about the vlog may have sounded fine to an innocent bystander BUT it was in fact a very pointed thing to say, because Nancy Rose knows full well that my vlog, launched earlier this year, hasn’t exactly had the attention I hoped it would.

      So, I did what anyone would do in that situation and I snatched the handbag from her and put it on my own wrist. Where it belongs. Next to Fritz.

      And you know what? She snatched it right back from me. Which was VERY childish.

      I obviously had to reach out and grab the handle to take it back again.

      Next thing I knew, I was having a tug of war with Nancy Rose over The Fritz handbag and everyone was staring and gasping, and Fritz started barking because he didn’t want her to ruin his special handbag with her pointy talons, AND THEN Nancy Rose LET GO of her side of the handle, causing her to go flying backwards.

      Seriously, hasn’t she ever played tug of war before?

      That’s how she ended up on the floor. It was her own stupid fault for not holding on to the bag properly. I did NOT tackle her. And Fritz didn’t go anywhere near her. He would never bite anyone.

      Which is exactly what I told the security man, Jeremy, as he led me out of the party. And Jeremy nodded along and offered me a Fruit Pastille while I waited for my driver, which I politely declined because I had no idea how long the packet had been in his pocket and it looked a bit squished.

      But still, it was a nice thing for him to do and you could tell he was totally on my side.