Название: A Regency Lord's Command
Автор: Anne Herries
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Историческая литература
Серия: Mills & Boon M&B
isbn: 9781474037877
isbn:
Lucinda held back the emotion that was building inside her. She still had the guest list she had used for their wedding. Most of those invited were Avonlea’s friends, some of whom she’d never met. It would be embarrassing to face them all at such a glittering occasion, but it must be done. She owed her husband this and more besides.
If he had taken her into his arms and kissed her, she could have borne it all so much easier. Indeed, she might have shed tears and confessed her secret had he been the gentle considerate man she’d fallen in love with, but he was a stranger, a man she did not recognise.
‘I shall do whatever you wish, Avonlea.’
‘I’m glad to hear that, Lucinda. Now, please go and change your gown. You look like a hoyden. Remember that you are a duchess now and try to behave in an appropriate manner.’
How his words stung her! Was he being deliberately cruel or did he not understand that she would have found it difficult enough to carry off her new social standing even if he had been loving and kind? As it was she felt alone and isolated.
Escaping to her rooms, she shut the door and stood with her back against it, fighting the tears. The burden of her secret was hard enough to bear, but Avonlea’s remote manner made it so much worse.
She brushed the tears from her eyes, refusing to break down as she had in the woods earlier. Her hus band had told her to behave like a duchess and she would find the strength to do it somehow.
Justin looked at his reflection in the dressing mirror and swore. He was such a fool. Why must he be angry again? Why could he not have given Lucinda the gift he’d purchased for her, kissed her and told her he cared deeply for her—that he wanted to make her happy? It was what he’d planned, but the sight of her with her hair tussled and her gown creased had alerted his suspicions. She looked as if she might just have come from the arms of a lover.
Her mention of Lord Lanchester had made him so angry—and jealous. Jealousy was an ugly emotion and one he did not like in himself. He had not realised that he could experience the emotion so sharply and his reaction to it was primeval and savage, not at all the behaviour of the gentleman he prided himself on being.
A gentleman was reasonable at all times, courteous to those around him and most of all, honourable. It was not honourable to feel as if he would like to murder his best friend.
Shaking his head, he felt his mouth curve in a wry smile. He must learn to curb his temper or he might not be answerable for his actions.
‘That is a pretty gown, Lucinda. It becomes you very well.’
‘Thank you, Avonlea.’ Lucinda inclined her head but did not smile. For the past two days they had managed to behave with civility towards one another. Her husband paid her compliments and appeared satisfied with the arrangements she was making for the ball, but he was still distant, a little cool in his manner, though at times she saw an expression in his eyes that puzzled her. ‘Do you have plans for this morning?’
‘I was thinking of riding into Thaxted to visit someone. Did you wish for the carriage? If you are going visiting, I could accompany you tomorrow.’
‘I know very few of your friends,’ Lucinda said. ‘I have not felt able to visit, though I believe one or two of your neighbours have called. I was unfortunately out at
the time—but perhaps tomorrow we could go visiting together?’
‘Yes, we shall do so. I was unaware that you had not troubled to make yourself at home to our friends.’
‘It…was remiss of me. I must settle on a day when I am always here,’ Lucinda replied, refusing to meet his eyes. ‘I have visited Jane Lanchester and she has been here on three occasions.’
‘That is all very well, but you must be aware of your position, Lucinda. As my duchess you are expected to keep a certain standard. You should be at home on at least one day a week and visit friends on another—and you must concern yourself with what is going on in the district. We hold various functions for the villagers during the year and my mother enjoyed opening the church fête. I believe the vicar used to call once a month to tell her what was needed for the poor of the locality.’
‘Forgive me. I did not know what was expected. You did not mention my duties, Avonlea.’
He looked at her for a moment in silence, then his expression softened. ‘No, I have not discussed these things as I ought and that was remiss of me. I have neglected my duty towards you, Lucinda. I beg your pardon. My visit this morning has been arranged for a while, but tomorrow I shall take you visiting—and this evening we shall discuss some of the things that are expected from the duchess. I shall give you my mother’s diaries. They will help you, I dare say.’
‘Yes, thank you,’ Lucinda replied. ‘I shall not keep you, Avonlea. I have things to do.’
He was standing very close to her, his eyes curiously intent as he looked down at her. His hand reached out and he touched her cheek, stroking his fingers down to her mouth, smoothing his thumb over the softness of her bottom lip. She trembled inwardly, thinking he might kiss her and wanting it, longing for the smile that would tell her the man she loved was back, but it did not happen.
‘You are very beautiful, Lucinda.’
‘Thank you. I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you, Justin.’
‘Nonsense. I am at fault. I am thoughtless and too demanding. There is plenty of time for you to learn your duties.’
He nodded to her and strode away. As soon as she was certain he had left, Lucinda ran upstairs and fetched her cloak. She had not been able to visit her daughter since her husband’s return. Angela would be upset and she must make the most of what time she had.
It was mid-afternoon when Lucinda left the cottage and began to walk home as fast as she could. Her daughter had wept when she saw her, clinging to her all day. Leaving her was very hard and Lucinda had delayed until the last moment, knowing that she would not have time to visit the next day.
‘Stay with me,’ Angela begged her. ‘Do not leave me, Mama. I promise to be good if you take me with you.’
‘I cannot take you yet,’ Lucinda said and kissed her, putting her into her nurse’s arms. ‘Be a good girl and I shall come as often as I can.’
‘Angela is always good,’ Nanny said. ‘She is learning her numbers and her letters—and to speak as she ought. She will do well enough when you have gone, Lucinda.’
Lucinda knew that her friend spoke wisely. Children always clung to their mothers. Had she been able to have her at Avonlea she could not have spent more than an hour or so with her each day, for she had many duties. The child must learn to be a young lady and with that came discipline. It was because she had to leave her in the cottage that she felt so guilty, she supposed, but there was nothing more she could do for the moment. She was finding it hard enough to do all the things that Justin seemed to expect of her.
Justin ought to have known when he asked her to marry him that she would not be accustomed to so many servants СКАЧАТЬ