Strange Bedpersons. Jennifer Crusie

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СКАЧАТЬ to offer him food instead. Then she took the box into the apartment and opened it.

      Nick had sent her a black crepe dress. It came below her knee and laced at the sides with black crepe laces that blended so well with the fabric that they were practically invisible. The dress was beautifully if conservatively cut, and Tess hated it on sight. When she tried it on, she hated it even more. It fit perfectly when the laces were loosened, and it made her look respectable and successful. She wanted to kill Nick, but she called Gina to come over instead.

      “Stop bitching,” Gina told her when she got to Tess’s apartment. “He probably knew you didn’t have anything for this kind of shindig. He was being thoughtful.”

      “Wait’ll you see this thing,” Tess said, dragging her into the bedroom.

      But all Gina said when she saw the dress was, “It’s beautiful. It really was thoughtful, Tess.”

      “Thoughtful, my hat. He’s being patronizing. He thinks I don’t have anything decent.”

      Gina looked around Tess’s bedroom, which was furnished with a creaky bed, a dozen thrift-store pillows and Angela, and raised an eyebrow at her.

      Tess grinned and flapped a hand. “That’s not what I meant. I meant he’s assuming I didn’t have anything decent to wear.”

      “You don’t.” Gina dropped onto the bed and looked at the dress wistfully before she returned to her attack. “Look, Tess, he did his laundry with you. He knows what your clothes look like. He knows what you dress like. He did you a favor. What’d the card say?”

      “What card?”

      “There must have been a card.” Gina sounded exasperated as she reached for the box and pawed through the tissue paper until she found it. “Got it. It says…” She hesitated while she pulled it out. “It says, ‘I saw this and knew you’d look great in it. Thank you for saving my life. Nick.”’ Gina frowned at Tess. “And you’re not planning on hanging on to him? You’re nuts. I’d kill to have somebody write me cards like this.”

      “That’s because you don’t know him like I do,” Tess grumbled. “I mean, look at this dress. Nancy Reagan would love this dress. He’s trying to make me a Republican for the weekend.”

      “Nancy Reagan dressed great,” Gina said. “You’re such a bigot. If it’s Republican, you want to burn a cross in the yard. Shape up.” She looked at the dress wistfully again. “It would be nice to have clothes like that, you know? Real clothes, not just cheap stuff.”

      Tess looked at the dress dubiously. “I suppose so.” She pulled at it a little, growing more cheerful as she studied it. “It’s just one night. And then maybe I can change the laces to red and lower the neckline.”

      “And put a slit up the side and pretend you’re Suzie Wong,” Gina added. “Why don’t you just give respectability a try?”

      “Never,” Tess said. “You’ll know I’m dead when I start acting respectable.”

      “Somehow I’m not worried,” Gina said. “Listen, all I’ve got for this thing is my black jersey dress. You know, the one with the belt? Is that gonna be okay?”

      “Sure.” Tess shrugged. “You look great in everything.”

      “It’s not like this,” Gina said, fingering the material of Tess’s dress one more time before she let go. “It’s not the kinda dress that people just look at and know it’s a good dress.”

      “Gina, you look so darling in everything you put on that people don’t care what you’re wearing.” Tess hung the dress on the back of the closet door. “Forget about your dress. You’ll look great. Nick’s picking me up at four. You’re riding with Park, right?”

      “You’re not going to be late, are you?” Gina said, sudden panic making her voice sharp. “Please.”

      “You’re not even riding down with us,” Tess said. “What difference does it make to you whether I’m late or not?”

      “All those people.” Gina clutched her hands together. “I want them to think I’m classy. I need you near me.”

      “Not if you want people to think you’re classy,” Tess said, and shut the closet door on the Nancy Reagan dress.

      NICK WAS NOT at all surprised that Tess wasn’t home when he came to pick her up on Friday afternoon. He put his suitcase by the door and rang the bell, and when there was no answer, he leaned against the wall to wait. Tess was always late because she always got caught up in the drama of the moment wherever she was. Time was relative to Einstein and Tess alike.

      While he waited, he thought about Tess and all the ways she could screw up his life, particularly this weekend. The more he thought about Tess and her cheerful bluntness, the more tense he got. He closed his eyes and thought about calling the whole thing off, and then he thought about Tess and spending the weekend with Tess and—if he laid his plans carefully—spending the night with Tess. The careercomes first, he reminded himself, but then he also reminded himself that man did not live by career alone. At least she’d be dressed well for the party, and as long as he never left her side maybe he could stop her from actually ruining his life, and besides, he wanted to be with her. He missed her. Okay, the weekend with Welch was probably not the best place to renew Tess’s acquaintance, but it was all he had. There was no point in obsessing over her unpredictability. That was the penalty for being with Tess. Tess would stop being spontaneous when she stopped being sloppy and late, and that would be never. Sometimes he thought that was one of the reasons he missed having her around—her chaos had been a sort of relief from his carefully mapped-out life. Not that there was anything wrong with a carefully mapped-out life. He’d spent twenty years weighing his every option and it had gotten him everything he’d ever wanted.

      Except partner.

      Well, he’d have that soon, too. If it took getting the Welch account, he’d get it, even if he had to bind and gag Tess to do it. And then he’d have everything he’d ever wanted.

      And then what?

      Nick considered his future.

      He’d been thinking about Park’s father’s theory that unmarried men over thirty-five were pathetic. Park’s father was wrong, of course, but he might have a point if he changed the age limit to forty. That was two years away for Nick. It might actually be time to start thinking marriage. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t wanted to get married. He had. Eventually. When his career was in place. When he found the right woman.

      But now he might make partner. And if he did, he’d need somebody to be a hostess, somebody to open the door of his house and welcome people in, somebody to call the caterers. It occurred to him that if Christine could develop some expression, it would probably be easiest just to upgrade her status to wife. God knew, she was undemanding and efficient. Unfortunately she was also Morticia Addams without the enthusiasm.

      What he needed was a cross between Christine and Tess.

      He thought about being married to Tess and grinned. Of course, she’d have to get different clothes, and he’d have to get his housekeeper to come every day to pick up after her, and she’d have to learn to shut up when it was politically necessary, but she’d also be around all the time, laughing, warming his life, warming his bed…

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