The Life She Wants. Robyn Carr

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      Emma’s home life wasn’t nearly so happy. Rosemary wasn’t abusive in any obvious way but she was emotionally flat where Emma was concerned.

      Rosemary complained about how hard she had to work at the DMV, how much stress she had in her life, how messy and lazy Emma’s father was, her weight, her friends and a variety of issues. Aside from Anna and Lauren, there didn’t seem to be much she enjoyed. Although Rosemary always referred to Emma and Lauren as her daughters, there was little doubt that Anna was her favorite. It wasn’t long before Emma was happier at Riley’s house than at her own. And hardly surprisingly, Rosemary didn’t mind her absence at home much.

      We were going to be each other’s maid of honor. We were going to have children at the same time so they could be best friends, too.

      From the day Sister Judith forced them together until high school graduation, Emma and Riley were inseparable. Riley’s grandpa called them conjoined twins. They stuck together through thick and thin, through the sudden death of Emma’s father when she was sixteen, Rosemary’s third marriage to Vince Kingston, and every issue that plagued teenagedom. Their friendship was cast in iron and they had very few tiffs. Until they fell out over a boy. One Jock Curry. Yes, it was his given name. He was named for a grandfather.

      They’d both crushed on him in high school. They thought he was smart, sexy, athletic, funny. Every girl wanted him and he apparently wanted every girl, but once he settled on Emma during their senior year, that was it for him. He said his roaming days were over. Of course, he was all of seventeen at the time. He tried to talk Emma into going to the same community college he’d chosen or at least staying close to home, but she had a scholarship and was going to Seattle Pacific University, known for its interior-design program. Of the two girls, she was the least likely to get a scholarship, but even with one, Riley’s family couldn’t afford any part of the expense of living away from home or attending an out-of-state university. Emma could manage with working part-time, taking out loans, and Rosemary was able to send a little money—fifty here, fifty there. And she had big dreams; she was going to design the interiors of five-star hotels and luxurious mansions!

      Riley enrolled in the same community college as Jock, lived at home and began cleaning houses just like her mom always had.

      Jock had no specific plans except to get the minimum education, work part time, play a little baseball and enjoy himself.

      Emma didn’t suspect anything was going on in her absence until right before Christmas break. Riley was acting strangely. Jock and Riley were hanging out together a lot, but shouldn’t that be expected? Her guy and her best friend, going to school together and everything? She trusted them, after all. Then she had this nagging feeling it wasn’t all right, that it was a betrayal. Riley was different toward her; Jock was a little too much himself—jovial and confident and relaxed. He’d gone from ragging on her about taking more time to talk to him on the phone to not noticing how long it had been since they’d had one of those long, whispery, late-night conversations.

      She suspected her best friend was too close to her boyfriend. When Emma confronted her, Riley burst into tears, admitted it, swore it wasn’t entirely her fault, that Jock had taken advantage of the fact that she’d always liked him a lot, that she had been so lonely without her best friend.

      Jock had said, “Hey, grow up. It didn’t really mean anything. Besides, what did you expect? You didn’t have time for either one of us.”

      Emma never really did understand how something like that just happens, especially when both Riley and Jock insisted they hadn’t meant it to, that it was all a terrible mistake. Then they both turned it back on her, as if it was her fault for going away to school. All she knew was that she was devastated and had lost the two most important people in her life. She could never trust either one of them again and the feeling was so painful it doubled her over. She went back to Seattle after Christmas break completely decimated by the hurt. She tried to date and that didn’t go well. Riley wrote her a couple of letters, left her a few messages, but Emma was too hurt to respond. And she didn’t go back to Santa Rosa until summer break. Even then, she hadn’t wanted to—there was nothing there for her anymore. Her father was dead, her stepmother was a cold fish who clearly hated her, her stepmother’s new husband was an old lecher, her sisters didn’t care about her...

      She didn’t stay in Santa Rosa long. She learned what no one wanted to tell her. Oh, but Emma’s stepsister Anna couldn’t wait to tell her—Riley was pregnant. While Emma was at school, those two had been knocking boots like mad and now they were having a baby. Emma bid a tearful goodbye to Lyle, cleared everything out of her father’s house, the house she grew up in, and headed back to Seattle as fast as she could. She got herself a job, joined a sorority, visited Santa Rosa very rarely and very briefly. When she did go, she stayed with Lyle.

      Even Seattle wasn’t far enough away. Upon her graduation, she secured a job in New York and moved to the other coast. Within three years she was a buyer for one of the largest independent department stores in the US and traveled all over the world for her household wares. She was a specialist in interiors and had fantasies about starting her own design firm.

      But then she met Richard...

      If there was one thing Emma had learned from the experience it was that she could hold a grudge. The fact that Riley’s relationship with Jock hadn’t lasted, proving that he wasn’t exactly a good catch, didn’t lessen her feelings of being betrayed. The undeniable truth that she’d dodged a bullet when her relationship with Jock fell apart didn’t give her much comfort. The further fact that she’d gone on to marry a handsome, rich, successful man also hadn’t induced her to forgive and forget.

      But then what she went through with Richard—his fraud, deceit, demise—taught her something else. There were bigger things to worry about than a fifteen-year-old feud with a childhood friend.

      There was no going back, Emma reminded herself. She was moving forward.

      * * *

      Emma hadn’t worked outside her home and marriage for nine years but boy, had she worked in it. She visited several employment agencies with her résumé, her degree, even details of her experience volunteering at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, working on gigantic fund-raisers, massive decorating projects and entertaining on an enormous scale, but that simply wouldn’t do it after the interview. She felt it was in her best interest to be honest, then immediately doubted her wisdom in that. If they didn’t want to take her on as a client because they feared trusting her, then they didn’t want her because of the potential negative press attention it might draw to them. Clients might leave businesses that employed her because of her notoriety. Of course, they didn’t say that. They said they were sorry, there didn’t seem to be anything available, but if she’d leave a number...

      She had to throw her net wider. She had a list of businesses to apply to that ranged from galleries and stores to convention centers, wineries and even political parties. She stopped explaining that her late husband had been the Richard Compton and instead said that after a bad marriage, she was reentering the workforce. After two weeks with zero success, she went to several smaller employment agencies, not the ones that specialized in decorating, customer service, event planning and those things that were ideal for her. After all, she could always type and file. She could operate a computer. She thought the reception she received was positive...until they looked into her background, which was a simple matter nowadays with a computer search. Even though she wasn’t up-front about her history, they obviously Googled her and she was politely informed there was nothing available that might suit her.

      After four weeks, she was inconsolable.

      “Isn’t this some СКАЧАТЬ