Healing Her Boss's Heart. Dianne Drake

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СКАЧАТЬ in the future. That’s what he needed. A strong leader. Not a bunch of rescuers who could get up and down the side of a mountain without any effort, but who had the drive to put everything on the line for each and every situation.

      And Carrie...he was positive she’d put it on the line. He had no doubts about that whatsoever.

      “Also, I disobeyed orders four times, to be exact. You need to know the truth about me. I’m a lot of things, but I don’t hide the truth. I disobeyed because I’m a trained police officer as well as a paramedic, and my job is—or was, if that turns out to be the case—taking care of people injured on a crime scene, including innocent bystanders and other cops, and sometimes I don’t think it’s best to wait until it’s secured to go in. I can’t help anybody if I’m being sidelined outside the crime scene until it’s declared safe or secured. So I’ve disobeyed orders and gone in when I didn’t have a direct order to do so.”

      Carrie shoved her hand through her short-cropped, almost white-blond hair and let out a frustrated breath. “If I’m entering a scene, it’s because someone is bleeding, or screaming. They’re in agony and their life is slipping away from them. My job is to save and rescue them any way I can.” She looked over at him and suddenly her eyes went soft. “When someone needs help, they shouldn’t have to wait for it. Because sometimes it comes too late. I couldn’t live with myself if I was the one who could help them, but didn’t, and they...”

      She shook her head, shook herself out of the emotion and back into the moment. “My training, both as a special weapons and tactics police officer, as well as a tactical paramedic, qualifies me to do things that most people aren’t able to do. But I must be let loose to do them. So sometimes I push the boundaries, but if a life is saved in the balance, that makes it worth the hassle I cause because I jumped in too fast.”

      “So you’re not a team player?”

      “On the contrary. I’m a great team player, but sometimes the team has to change.”

      “Meaning you’re not always willing to follow orders?”

      “I follow orders, Doctor. I can’t tell you how many field rescues I’ve done, and I’ve only been reprimanded four times.”

      “Because you knew better than your supervisor.” Yes, she was a challenge. But was she worth the challenge? Because despite her obvious problem, her supervisor had given her a strong recommendation. Full of passion. Perfect scores in her skill tests. Dedicated.

      He was seeing all that. But he was also seeing the cautions. She disobeys orders. She argues.

      “I’m not saying I knew better. I just saw things differently. His job was to secure the area and protect his officers, as well as innocent bystanders, on the scene. My job was to rescue injured people. We had different things to do, that’s all. Basically, he thought cop first, then everything else. I though paramedic first, then cop, then everything else. Sometimes you must make hard choices if a life is hanging in the balance. And I’m that balance, Doctor. For the person who’s dying in the middle of a crime scene I’m the only balance, and if I’m willing to take the risk, I should be the one to make the hard choice.”

      Well, she was right about that. He’d spent years doing makeshift rescues in the mountains with untrained volunteers, and if that had taught him anything, it was that life was full of hard choices. He’d had to make too many of them over time. “The hard choice, until they fire you.”

      “I haven’t been fired. They’re simply...” A broad smile spread across her face. “Who am I kidding? They’re not going to have me back. You know it, I know it and, most of all, they know it. This temporary suspension is their way of easing me out the door, keeping me on full benefits until I find a new position.”

      “But you don’t seem that upset about it.”

      “Life moves on. You either move with it or you get left behind. I’ve had a lot of experience with that, and the lesson I’ve learned is that I won’t get left behind. Never again.”

      Even with all his qualms, he liked her hang-tough attitude. She wasn’t a quitter. “So, can you yank a deadweight body out?”

      “Of course I can.” She flexed a very well-defined bicep muscle at him. “Part of doing what I do is the training and discipline it takes every day to stay in shape. I could yank your deadweight body out of any situation with no problem.” She grinned. “Want me to show you?”

      Jack chuckled. “I think I’ll pass on that but, tell me, can you put in more than your fair share of backbreaking hours? Because that’s part of this. Sometimes putting aside personal life and plans. Sometimes staying out in the field until you think you can’t take another step, but you know you can’t quit. Can you do this? Can you accept that it may consume parts or all of your life at times?” The way it had his, until Evangeline and Alice...

      “Yep,” she said, her smile growing wider. “That’s what I’m in it for—to do the work. Not the personal glory. I like being useful. Growing up, I never was. Never had a personal goal either, except putting myself in a position where I could make a difference.”

      She was so...engaging, so buoyant it was almost catching. Damn. The last thing he wanted was to be caught up by anybody’s cheerfulness, but she was catching him, nevertheless. Evangeline had been so laid-back. Good, dedicated, compassionate but never up front with her feelings. Part of her Salish background. But here was Carrie, and she was a ticking time bomb of enthusiasm, ready to explode. He wasn’t sure what to do about it, because it intrigued him. The women in his life were mostly from the reservation or surrounding areas—mostly like Evangeline. And while he himself wasn’t a Native American, he’d practically grown up in their ways. Normal society ways mixed in with the traditional.

      Ways that were not at all like Carrie’s. Admittedly, Carrie’s ways intrigued him. Maybe even made him a little bit nervous, because accepting Carrie would be a lot like playing with fire. And as he knew from the native ways he’d spent most of his life learning, fire was unpredictable. But it could be tamed. Yes, Carrie was fire. A basic element. And maybe fire was exactly what he needed right now...in his professional life, of course. Not in his personal. He didn’t allow himself one of those anymore. “So why not be a regular paramedic and keep yourself out of the line of fire, if saving lives is all you want?”

      “Somebody’s got to do what I do, so why not me? Besides, I like advancing myself. Thought about being a doctor or a nurse—didn’t have the time or resources to pursue any of that. But being a paramedic always intrigued me because when it’s on, it’s so fast-paced you must rely on your instincts, and I’ve always had good instincts. So when I found out there were specialties in the field...” She shrugged. “What can I say? I wanted to advance. That’s who I am.”

      “If I accept you into my program, and you do well with it, can I count on you to stay here? Because while your need might be advancement, my need is to train qualified rescuers who will take care of the basic needs in the area.”

      “My life is pretty open. No one to keep me anywhere. No one place that’s calling me to settle down. So I’m open to almost anything. If you think I’m good enough, and I think I’m good enough—and that’s a big thing because I have to feel good enough—then there’s no reason I can’t stay. I don’t have any ties anywhere, Doctor. So I can be tied to Marrell, Montana, as well as anywhere else.”

      “Well, the needs in Marrell are growing. Sinclair Hospital, the town, the population. We’re attracting all kinds of outsiders who either want to build a weekend cabin or retire here. Meaning we’re СКАЧАТЬ