The Soldier's Wife. Cheryl Reavis

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СКАЧАТЬ dirty backstreets of Lexington as he had. They looked up to him. He couldn’t let them deliberately go into harm’s way without his overseeing the effort. He gave a quiet sigh. So many of them dead now, despite his determination to keep them all safe and together, their faces coming to him whenever he was on the verge of sleep, faces of the boys who had too quickly become men and then were gone. A line of clouds moved across the moon. He lifted his head, trying to see in the darkness. He couldn’t detect any movement, couldn’t hear any sound. Most certainly the wounded man had died.

      His hands were steadier now, the tremors fading as they always eventually did. There was no reason for him to stay out here. He’d made what must at least seem like a humane gesture, and now he could go back. He could eat some hardtack and wish he had coffee to soften it. He could make Little Ike reread his letter. He could think about Miss Elrissa Barden standing in lantern light on a dark and windy railroad platform and try to remember her pretty face.

      “Wait,” a voice said distinctly when he began to move to what he hoped was a less conspicuous place. The voice was close by, and he turned sharply in that direction.

      “Will you...wait?” the man asked.

      Jack made no reply. He was still trying to get his bearings. Where—and how close—was he? And how close was his musket?

      “Please,” the voice said, feebler now. “I don’t...”

      The moon appeared from behind the clouds, and Jack could just make him out in the semidarkness. Surprisingly, he was sitting upright, leaning against the wheel of a broken caisson. And he was farther out into the open field than Jack was willing to go.

      “Wait!” the man said sharply when Jack was about to move away again. “I’m shot. Don’t leave me...out here. Please...”

      Jack hesitated, his head bowed. This man was nothing to him. Nothing. For all he knew, he was the one who had shot him.

      The soldier was weeping now, his sobs carrying eerily into the night. Jack waited, knowing if he waited long enough, he wouldn’t have to make the choice.

      “Have...mercy...” the man said, the words suddenly lost in a near animal-like moan.

      Jack clenched his fists. How many times had he been in this kind of situation no matter where he found himself? The orphanage. Mr. Barden’s dry goods store. The army. Always when he least expected it, a sudden choice between right and wrong would be staring him right in the face. It was as if his life were some kind of classroom, one where he was supposed to learn the principles of moral rectitude—and he was always getting called on.

      Here’s another one, Jack, old boy. Let’s see what you do with this one.

      And this one could get him killed.

      The man grew quiet, but he was still alive. Jack had no doubt about that, just as he knew what Father Bartholomew would say:

      It’s not that we don’t know what is right, Jeremiah. We always know. It’s that we don’t want to do it.

      Jack exhaled sharply. All right, then.

      He began to crawl again, making a wide circle to get to the wounded soldier without being seen from the far side of the open field. Whatever happened, however it turned out, Father Bartholomew and the Sisters, at least, would be happy. The Golden Rule and the parable of the Good Samaritan all rolled into one.

      But he wasn’t about to take any chances. He made his way slowly. The closer he got, the more he could tell about the uniform—or what was left of it.

      “Here, Reb,” Jack said when he had moved to where he thought—hoped—he’d be out of sight and could sit up. He pulled the cork from his canteen despite the color of the uniform, and he tried to get the man to drink from it. Most of the water ran down his neck. The smell of death rose from his body.

      “Much...obliged,” Jack thought the man said. He couldn’t be sure because the soldier had suddenly hunched forward in agony.

      “What...are you doing...out here, Yank?” he said when he could, his voice barely audible.

      “Came to see what all the fuss was about,” Jack said, and the man actually laughed, a pain-racked laugh that immediately died away.

      “Just to...keep me company, I...guess.”

      “Or rob your pockets.”

      “You’re out of...luck...there, Yank. I’m...going to ask you...to do...something for me.”

      “I doubt I’ll do it.”

      “I’m going to ask...anyway. You...got a...wife?”

      “No.”

      “Sweetheart?”

      “Yes,” Jack said, despite the dearth of letters from Elrissa.

      “You should have...married her before you...left...lest you end up...like me. My wife...she’s not going to know...what happened to me...if you don’t...tell her.”

      “I can’t do that, Reb.”

      “Take my...blanket roll,” the soldier said in spite of Jack’s refusal. “My letters...I couldn’t mail them. Take them—take everything. Her name is...Sayer Garth. She’s in...Ashe County...North Carolina side of...the Tennessee border. Anybody can tell you...where the Garth place is. Get them to her...tell her...Thomas Henry gave them...to you. Say I know how...hard she’s...prayed for me. I know...she wanted me...to be...ready if I fell. Say her prayers were answered...and I wasn’t afraid to die. Tell her...I don’t want her...to grieve. My little sisters...they’ll cry when they know...I’m not coming home, but...you tell them...I don’t want that. I don’t want any...sad faces. You say I went...easy. Don’t...don’t tell them about...the pain.”

      The soldier was quiet for a time. Jack could see the rise and fall of his chest, but he couldn’t tell if he was conscious.

      “I can’t save...her,” the man said abruptly. “Marrying her won’t be enough...if I’m dead.” He gave a heavy sigh. “I’m afraid...for her. I don’t know...what...to do. I swear...I don’t. I don’t know if it...was the right thing. I don’t know what to do!” He threw back his head suddenly and began to moan, overwhelmed by the agony of his wounds. “End...this...” he whispered.

      “No,” Jack said. He knew exactly what the man meant.

      “You were...ready enough...to take my life...this morning...”

      “I’ll leave you my canteen—”

      “It’s your revolver...I need.”

      The man gave a long shuddering sigh. His head dropped forward for a moment, but then he lifted it and looked in Jack’s direction.

      “First time...I saw her I was...eight years old,” the man said. “She was six...living...with her daddy’s kin. Rich people, they were. They came...to the mountains every summer. Came all the...way from...I can’t...no. No...I remember. Town on the Yadkin River. It was...bad there in the...in summer. They...always stayed in the...high country till...first...frost. Her people didn’t want her. Why didn’t they...want her? I never did...know. She tried so hard not to...vex СКАЧАТЬ