Название: Rocky Mountain Daddy
Автор: Lois Richer
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Короткие любовные романы
Серия: Mills & Boon Love Inspired
isbn: 9781474096232
isbn:
She’d fallen right into that. Olivia sighed.
“Fine. I’ll help you look for a place to live, Gabe. But that’s all. I won’t help you decorate it or buy furniture for it or any of that stuff.” As if she had any clue as to how to make a house into a home for a cowboy and a kid. Organizing systems, creating efficiency, that was her specialty. Not helping somebody belong.
“Okay,” the big cowboy agreed easily. “I can always ask salesclerks about furniture.”
Oh, brother.
“This home is for you and Eli. You should make the decisions about it together. You do know I’m leaving soon, probably next week, but for sure no later than the end of June.”
“When do you want to start looking? Tomorrow?” And she’d thought Gabe laid-back. “I’m off in the afternoon.” He looked very eager now.
After her first glance at Eli, Olivia had wanted to help him. But she didn’t do kids. Fear of the past happening again, of being responsible and failing, kept her from interacting with her own nieces and nephews. What was so different about Eli that he made her feel he needed her?
Olivia exhaled. She had no idea why this child tugged at her heart. All she knew was that she had to do what she could. And the sooner she helped Eli, the sooner she’d feel okay about leaving The Haven to get on with building her future. Alone. As usual.
Helping Gabe had nothing to do with it.
“Tomorrow afternoon is good,” she agreed.
* * *
Gabe,
First, I apologize. I should have told you about Eli years ago. But you had your dad and your ranch. Eli was all I had. I guess I wanted to punish you for not making me stay with you, so I kept the two of you apart. That was stupid and selfish. All I did was cheat my son of knowing his father, someone he’s asked about since he first learned to speak. I cheated you of knowing him, too, and I’m so sorry. He’s a wonderful boy, Gabe. So curious, so generous. His heart is so tender. Now he’s hurting, worried that I’m dying, and he’ll be left all alone.
I wish I’d eaten my pride ages ago, but now it’s too late. I’m too ill to come and find you. I’m in hospice and there are days I can hardly lift my head. I can barely hug Eli, so I tell him that I love him and that one day you’ll come for him. I don’t know where you are, Gabe, but I pray that somehow God will bring you and our child together. God is my best friend now. You’re the one who first introduced us, remember? My favorite Bible verse is, “He hath made everything beautiful in His time.” God will do that with you and Eli, I know it. Forget about me and how I ruined things between us and concentrate on this wonderful little boy who needs your love so badly. He needs a dad, too, and I know you’ll be a great father. Love him, Gabe.
While I’ve been ill I had to let my sister care for Eli, but please don’t leave our son with Kathy. He has a tender soul and she’ll crush him, just as she did me at that age. Contact the lawyer on the card I’ve included. On my death you’ll receive permanent custody of Eli. I so wish I would have told you this in person, but since I can’t, this is from my heart. Please, I beg you, love our son. Even if you never forgive me, Gabe, love Eli. He desperately needs you.
Eve
Sitting on his bed in his bunkhouse that evening, Gabe reread Eve’s letter several times. Every time he did, the knot of bitterness inside him wound tighter. Simple for Eve to say she was sorry. She was gone. She didn’t have to face him; she’d never answer for what she’d done. But he’d lost almost six years of his son’s life, six years when he could have watched Eli learn to walk, to talk, call him Daddy, share baby kisses and birthdays.
Forget the past. Focus on Eli, his logical brain ordered. Probably good advice, but Gabe doubted he could ever forget or forgive Eve for what she’d done.
So now what?
Lips pursed, he folded Eve’s letter and slid it back into its envelope. He selected a new envelope and wrote Kathy’s address on it. He filled out a check, signed it and slid it inside. Then he added a note. Use this for whatever you need. A father should be responsible for his kid’s expenses. Better late than never. He sealed the envelope and set it on a shelf, ready to mail.
Eve’s letter went into a small bronze box with a lid that Gabe snapped shut before shoving it into a drawer. Though the letter was hidden from his sight, it felt vividly alive in his seething brain.
Head and heart aching, Gabe went outside and sank onto the step, peering into the half-lit sky. Summer nights in the mountains never really got dark. Sunset and sunrise would meet soon. What would tomorrow hold?
“I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord. Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an unexpected end.” That verse had been Gabe’s life’s motto for years.
You’ve known about all of this for a long time, Lord. But I’m stunned, he prayed silently. I’ve tried to follow You as best I can, but—a son? I never imagined—show me the best way to win his heart. Show me how to be Eli’s father, Lord.
Gabe prayed until there were no more words left. But nervous worry, concern that he’d mess up and perhaps hurt this little boy he didn’t even know, plus uncertainty about his suddenly shifting world, did not abate.
His pastor’s Sunday-morning sermons last winter had been all about trusting God. Gabe had been so certain he’d been doing that. But Eli’s appearance today had rocked his world and shaken his faith. Almost six years—why had Eve done it? But more importantly, why had God let her? How could he trust God now?
Because a sense of futility hung over him, Gabe shifted his thoughts toward practicalities. How would he know what kind of a place to get for Eli?
Olivia’s image flickered through his brain. She didn’t seem to hesitate when making decisions. Maybe he could lean on her, let her take the lead in this house-hunting business. After all, she’d grown up at The Haven, certainly the best home in the area. She’d know all the things a good home should have.
The knot inside Gabe eased. Yeah, he’d follow Olivia’s lead. Could it be that’s why God had brought her back at this particular time? To be a friend? To help him?
Startled by awareness that he was allowing a pretty woman he barely knew to become so involved in his personal life, in direct opposition to everything he’d resolved after Eve’s departure and in the years since, Gabe’s brain whirled. He’d take Olivia’s help, he decided, but he would not allow anything more than friendship between them, because though she was very attractive, romance wasn’t for him. Never again would he let himself be that vulnerable.
When he finally retired, sleep was elusive because Gabe knew that no matter how great Olivia was at organizing things, the fact remained that Eli was not a ranch kid. He’d even shied away from Spot and Dot, the Spenser sisters’ mild-tempered dogs. What would happen when the kid met a horse?
Horses were Gabe’s world.
Were. But now he had a son. With whom he had nothing in common.
* * *
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