Lakeside Romance. Lisa Jordan

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      Sarah shot them a quick, apologetic smile. “Again, so sorry. Have a good night.” She jogged barefoot across the grass and disappeared into the house.

      Billy chuckled and shook his head. “You’re going to have your hands full with that one.”

      “I don’t have the time, or the inclination, to deal with anyone.”

      Billy’s lips thinned as he scrubbed a hand over his buzzed head. “You know, Alec, Christy’s been gone four years today.”

      Alec held up a hand. “Stop, okay? I know exactly how long she’s been gone.”

      He didn’t need a calendar to know what day it was.

      “My sister wouldn’t want to see you like this.” Billy crossed his arms over his chest, emphasizing his wrestler’s build.

      “Yeah, well, she’s not here anymore.” And he had no one to blame but himself.

      “No. No, she isn’t.” Billy heaved a sigh and moved his helmet to his other arm. “Listen, since I’m already poking the bear...we have an opening in the department, if you’d like to come back.”

      Alec shook his head and scoffed. “You’re in rare form tonight, aren’t you?”

      Billy shrugged. “What can I say? Haven’t seen you in a while, so I figured why not get it all in while I can?”

      Alec waved a hand over the yard. “Dude, you know where I live.”

      “Yeah, I know, buddy.”

      “I appreciate the offer, but that part of my life is in the past, where it needs to stay.” The fire department didn’t need a crew member who still battled nightmares or freaked out over smoke alarms.

      “Don’t even go there, man.” Billy’s voice snapped like a whip. “You threw away your career because of one house.”

      Alec’s heart smashed against his ribs. “Go there? Dude, I never left. And it wasn’t just any house, Billy. You know that. It was my house. The one I shared with my wife. The one where we were going to raise our family.” His chest tightened as he chugged in ragged breaths. He jammed his fingers through his hair, then locked his hands behind his head.

      Billy’s shoulders sagged. “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean to get you riled up. I just hate seeing you merely existing.”

      “I don’t think I’ve had a decent night’s sleep in four years.” He mumbled the words mostly to himself. He didn’t need to close his eyes to feel flames from the past searing his skin or smell the choking grasp of the thick smoke. Or hear his wife’s frantic screams, begging him to save her... He ground the heels of his hands into his eye sockets. “I have a responsibility to my grandparents now.”

      “It wasn’t your fault, Alec.” Billy gripped his shoulder.

      “Tell that to your mom.” Jane Lynn’s grief-stricken screams echoed inside the dark chambers of his mind.

      You should have saved her! My daughter is dead because of you!

      Squeezing his eyes shut, he forced the accusation back behind the locked door of his memory. He glanced longingly toward his front door. “I appreciate your concern. I do, but I’m running on empty. I need to catch some z’s.”

      Billy gave him a long look. “I’m serious, man. Would you want Christy to live like this if she had lost you?”

      Of course not, but how could he explain the deep hole in his heart that couldn’t be filled by anyone else?

      “I know it’s been tough. I miss my baby sister every day,” Billy continued. “You know, I used to watch you two together and think you were the perfect couple. You’d cook these fantastic meals together, and anytime Etta James came on the radio, you’d pull Christy away from the sink and dance with her. That’s what you need—to find another dance partner...someone who makes you laugh and brings back the joy in your life.”

      Billy stated the impossible. No one could fill his arms...or his heart...the way Christy had. She had been a perfect fit.

      He shot a mischievous look at Alec. “If you don’t start living—I mean really living instead of going through the motions—then I’m going to pass out your number to every single chick I know...and I know plenty.”

      Alec’s eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t dare.”

      “Try me.”

      Alec dropped his chin to his chest a moment, then glared at Billy. “Fine, you win.”

      The teasing tone dropped out of Billy’s voice. “It’s not about winning, Alec.”

      “Yeah.” Alec rubbed his thumb and forefinger over eyelids made of burlap. “I really need to hit the hay.”

      Billy clapped him on the shoulder. “Yeah, okay. We’ll talk soon.”

      “Later.” Alec strode across the lawn, his feet and the frayed hems of his jeans dampened by the night dew. He entered his apartment, locking the door behind him.

      Instead of heading for his bed, he dropped into the oversize leather chair in the corner of the living room. Swinging a foot onto the matching ottoman, he rested his head against the cushioned back.

      The minute the fire alarm had screamed through the stillness of the night, his adrenaline had yanked him out of his sleep. He had thrown on clothes and rushed upstairs. All he could think about was saving the new tenant. He couldn’t handle another death on his conscience.

      Sitting up, he opened the drawer in the side table and reached for a handful of photos, smudged with fingerprints and creased from being handled. He leafed through them quickly, not really needing the visual reminder of Christy’s smile or the way her blue eyes sparkled when she laughed. But, for a moment, he needed to flip through them to remind himself why he couldn’t respond differently to Billy’s offer.

      He paused on the one photo that nearly mangled his gut each time he looked at it—a candid shot of him and Christy slow dancing in his grandparents’ kitchen. They had celebrated their first Christmas together as a married couple with his family. While doing dishes, their wedding song had come on the radio. He asked Christy to dance with him. She’d fit perfectly into his arms. He hadn’t minded the way she teased him playfully about his missteps. His sister, Chloe, had taken the picture as he dropped a kiss on the tip of his wife’s nose.

      The memory only served to hurt him more deeply. Because, as he continued to gaze at the image, a thought invaded his mind. He hadn’t just lost his wife and everything they owned in the fire—he’d also lost his unborn son.

      Alec dropped the pictures back in the drawer and slammed it shut. He pushed himself out of the chair and wandered down the darkened hall to his bedroom.

      More than anything, he wanted to bring back the family he’d lost and have the life he was meant to live. But that was impossible.

      If he could turn back the clock, he’d make different choices—choices that would’ve protected Christy and his baby. As long as the trauma from his past continued to plague СКАЧАТЬ