A Mother For His Children. Jan Drexler

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      “Ne, I don’t. But at least I’m not walking around barefoot on a freezing night.”

      Her face blanched as she looked down at her bare toes below the hem of her nightgown. She reached her hand up to where her kapp should be and blood rushed to her cheeks. “Ach, I forgot... You must think... I’m so sorry...” She dropped the spoon on the counter and fled through the door to the Dawdi Haus.

      Levi stared at the door she slammed behind her, his mind filled with the image of her flowing white gown and that trailing braid. Taking a deep breath, he rubbed his hands over his eyes then smoothed his beard. This wasn’t what he had bargained for when he set out to hire a housekeeper.

Chapter Three

      Levi reached out with one hand to turn off the alarm before it could ring. Four o’clock and time to get up.

      He pushed himself to the edge of the half-empty bed with a groan. Nights were short enough when he slept through them, but he had fought to get even a few hours’ sleep last night. Every time he closed his eyes, the sight of that tall, willowy form with the golden braid taunted him. He rubbed his face with both hands and paused with his eyes covered, capturing the vision again before the day’s work stole it from him.

      Would it be wrong to think she might welcome his attention?

      Levi combed his fingers through his beard. The last time he approached a woman... His face grew hot when he remembered how Ellie Miller, in front of everyone at the barn raising last summer, had refused his request to court her. He should never have mentioned it in the middle of a crowd of onlookers, but Eliza had cornered him that very morning and insisted he either marry or send Nellie and Nancy to live with her in Middlebury. He had been desperate.

      He still was. But desperate enough to risk a rejection from his housekeeper?

      Making a marriage wasn’t what he had intended when he set out to hire a housekeeper, but then, he also hadn’t intended to hire someone so eligible. He was crazy to think she’d even look at an old man like him.

      Or maybe it wasn’t so crazy. A lot of men married girls younger than they were, and made good marriages, too. His own grossdawdi had two wives, marrying his grossmutti only months after his first wife had died in childbirth.

      And then he had gone on to have twelve more children with his second wife.

      At this thought Levi pushed himself out of bed. He paused to check the weather, pulling up the shade to look through the window at the bright stars and white fields, ghostly gray in the moonlight. His farm, his dat’s farm, his grossdawdi’s farm. The cabin his grossdawdi built in 1845 was just out of sight in the woodlot. But this farm meant nothing compared to his family. He’d do anything to keep them together.

      Anything, including keeping Ruth Mummert on as his housekeeper. Would Eliza think her too young and inexperienced to take over the housekeeping? From the way supper went last night, she seemed competent enough.

      But could he keep her around, having her become part of the family and a substitute mother for the younger ones? What would the other church members think of such a young woman in his home?

      He should send her back to Lancaster County. He could spend ten minutes listing all the reasons why she wasn’t right for the job. She was too young, too outspoken, too bossy....

      He let the shade fall back in place and turned to his dresser. Ruth Mummert...what was he going to do with her? He couldn’t let her go home. Not now. He had to make her fit in, become part of the family. A hired hand, a helper. Eliza and everyone else would see how wonderful-gut she was with the children and how well she handled herself in the kitchen.

      And when it came right down to it, he didn’t want to send her away.

      Picking up his razor, he paused, and then turned to the small chest at the foot of his bed. Salome’s chest. What would she think of Ruth Mummert? They’d get along fine, wouldn’t they? Salome would welcome her as a sister, a helper. He turned back to the mirror, ready to shave his upper lip, when he saw the scowl on his face. Why did he think of Salome at a time like this?

      Ach, when didn’t he think of her?

      He gave his upper lip a quick shave, the tiny shaving mirror reflecting his tired eyes. Old eyes. Levi swished the razor in the cold water and wiped it on the towel. Turning away from the mirror, he pulled on his work clothes, stretching his suspenders up over his shoulders and padding out of his bedroom.

      The big house had been built before Dat was born, and the upper floor had been added to the house several years later to accommodate the growing family. Levi often thought of Grossdawdi in these quiet mornings as he climbed the worn treads of the stairway. His only memory of him was a blurred image, and he was surprised he remembered that much since Dawdi had died while Levi was still in dresses.

      He stopped at the first bedroom and knocked on the door frame. “Elias, Nathan, it’s time to get up.” Then crossing the hall, he knocked on the opposite room. “James, David, it’s morning.” He waited until he heard them stirring before heading back down the stairs.

      The kitchen was warm even though the fire lay quiet and dormant in the stove. He shook down the ashes and laid kindling on the glowing coals, each movement automatic. He blew the fire to life, fed it with more kindling and then set two split logs on top to keep it going. Waneta would be down soon. She always woke when she heard him in the kitchen.

      What would he have done without Waneta when Salome died? Even though she was only fifteen at the time, his oldest daughter had stepped into her mother’s role without hesitation.

      There were a few burned biscuits at first, for sure, but she learned quickly. Too quickly. She acted too much like an old married woman at times. He rarely saw her smile as she went about her work, and she was often short-tempered with her brothers and sisters.

      Well, with Ruth Mummert here now, Waneta would be able to join the other youth at the Singings and enjoy herself for once. Maybe she’d even notice Reuben Stoltzfus trying to catch her eye at Sunday meetings.

      “Mornin’, Dat.” Elias mumbled the greeting, but the other boys were silent as they jostled their sleepy way out to the back porch for their boots and coats. As crisp and clear as the stars were this morning, they’d all be wide-awake and half-frozen by the time they reached the barn.

      Levi glanced at the Dawdi Haus door as he followed the boys. It was just an accident that he had seen Ruth in her night clothes. It was a mistake, nothing more, and he’d make sure it was never repeated.

      * * *

      Ruthy stood at the door of the Dawdi Haus.

      “It was just a mistake. A terrible, horrible mistake.” For the third time since she had woken up, she repeated the words to herself, but she still didn’t want to touch the doorknob.

      The look on Levi Zook’s face the night before made her cheeks burn. He had been amused by her shameful appearance, without her kapp or even stockings. Every time she looked at him she would remember those brown eyes and the laughing crinkles around them. She could kick herself for being so careless.

      But how could she face him—how could she face the children after this?

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