Modern Romance June 2016 Books 5-8. Tara Pammi

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СКАЧАТЬ he held her.

      ‘Do you know,’ Roman said. ‘When I was growing up I always thought you were rich because you had a parent, but you were as poor as us, maybe more so—at least we were fed regularly.’

      She felt better for his understanding and she thought of her mother and could see things through more forgiving eyes.

      It was nice to confide in him, to be held in his arms as she recalled those times.

      ‘I was always so hungry.’

      ‘I know you were. Which is why, the night I took you out for dinner, I thought that a meal before your audition would be such a good idea. We had no idea about the world then.’

      ‘They were still good times.’ Anya sighed, because she had so many happy memories of back then—as children, laughing and showing off how fit she was to Daniil and Roman as they did their boxing drills. She recalled Christmas dinners when the workers’ families could come in for the day. Then she would get to eat with the orphans and she would sit with the four boys rather than standing in the kitchen to watch.

      ‘They were the best,’ Roman told her.

      His response was unexpected.

      He held her tight into him so that she rested her head on his chest and she could hear the thump-thump of his heart.

      ‘I didn’t think that you would have any good memories of back then,’ Anya said.

      ‘I have many. For the first twelve years I had Daniil, as well as Sev and Nikolai, and I always looked forward to seeing you. Do you remember the time you brought supper to my room?’

      ‘I wanted to kiss you,’ Anya said.

      ‘I wanted to touch your breasts,’ Roman said, and she smiled.

      ‘Did you look forward to seeing me today?’ Anya asked.

      ‘No.’

      And his answer did not upset her.

      She knew why.

      ‘Because?’ she breathed.

      ‘Because of this.’

      This need, this desire, this craving that only the other could satisfy.

      Anya knew that if she looked up he would kiss her.

      And so she looked up.

      He kissed first her damp lashes, so that her eyes closed and the bliss of his kiss brought more tears. His mouth traced her cheeks and then went to her lips, where his kiss was soft, but never tentative.

      She loathed his tender kisses, for they were not how things used to be and he had not learnt that from her, yet she ached for them too.

      Their kiss deepened and his hands went to the thin cardigan she wore to cover her arms and slipped it off so that it dropped to the floor and his palms were now the warmth on her arms. ‘Stop covering yourself,’ he said.

      He knew her every move.

      Now he kissed her harder, a kiss that was familiar, and she felt herself sink into the intoxicating space that they found together. Their tongues told of the urgent quest for more and he pulled her tighter into him, and she stood on tiptoe just to feel more of him, fought not to climb onto him as she peeled her mouth from his and her direct words made him smile.

      ‘We are not having sex in the guest room at your niece’s christening.’

      ‘Then the uncouth relations really would have arrived,’ Roman said, and he smiled down at her because he had been determined to be a suave and suitable guest in Daniil’s home; he just hadn’t factored in having Anya there. ‘If we were caught that really would give them something to talk about.’

      Anya peered out from his chest and frowned. This was no guest room, Anya realised. They had been so focused on each other that they hadn’t even taken in their surroundings.

      ‘Roman!’

      He looked then too and realised that they were standing in a huge room. The floors were polished wood, and it was a vast exercise area, a gymnasium that had been set up for boxing. There were mirrors, weights, punching bags. Growing up, it would have been the stuff of his and Daniil’s dreams.

      ‘No boxing ring, though,’ Roman said.

      For now he and Daniil fought with their demons and they fought them alone.

      ‘One day, perhaps,’ Anya said.

      It was she now who soothed him. One day, perhaps he and Daniil might be able to speak properly. Libby couldn’t seem to understand why Daniil and Roman were not falling over each other in joy at being finally reunited.

      Anya did.

      There had been so much suffering and so much self-reliance to get to this point in their lives that it was hard to admit you might want to depend on someone else, or feel worthy of their love.

      ‘He has done so well,’ Roman said. ‘It is strange to see him grown up and now with a family...’

      ‘Are you jealous of him?’ Anya asked, but for her own reasons. There was something she needed to know. ‘I mean, he has a wife, a new baby—’

      ‘You don’t understand twins,’ Roman interrupted. ‘I’ve never been jealous of my brother. I’m happy that he has everything I ever wanted.’

      And if that was everything Roman had wanted, there was something she could never give him.

      A baby.

      His answer pained her and to avoid his eyes she walked over to a shelf set in a wall. It reminded her of her dressing table before a performance—it was like a little altar that displayed what she guessed were Daniil’s most precious things. There was a photo of Daniil and Libby on their wedding day and one of Nadia too, as well as an ultrasound image. Anya knew that she was looking at something very private, and Roman, who now stood beside her, knew it too. There was a pink porcelain ornament and a few other things. Within the collection, though, there were two objects that she recognised.

      ‘I remember these being taken,’ Anya said as she took down two photos. ‘Sergio brought in his camera that day.’

      One image was of Daniil and Roman in boxing shorts, holding their hands up in a fighting pose.

      Roman was scowling in the photo and today it made Anya smile. ‘You just wanted to get the picture over and done with.’

      ‘I did,’ Roman said. ‘But I am glad now that he took it.’

      ‘Why did you give them to Daniil?’

      ‘I didn’t give them to him. I put them into his case. I thought it might help him if he had some photos from home.’

      ‘But that left you with none,’ Anya said, and she looked at the other photo. It was of the four boys, now men, and today they were finally together again.

      ‘We’re СКАЧАТЬ