Название: Australia: Handsome Heroes
Автор: Alison Roberts
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Короткие любовные романы
Серия: Mills & Boon M&B
isbn: 9781472017161
isbn:
‘I don’t have a clue,’ she told him honestly. ‘I’m in uncharted territory. I don’t even know whether I’m doing the right thing—admitting to you that CJ exists.’
‘How can you question that? You should have told me five years ago.’
‘You didn’t want him.’
‘No, but now he exists…’
She felt a tiny flare of panic. ‘But now he exists, what?’
‘He’s my son.’
‘No more than if you were a sperm donor.’
‘You know it was far, far more than that.’
‘Yes.’ She nodded and only she knew that her hands were clenching on her lap. Her fingernails were digging into her palms and they hurt. ‘Of course I know that.’
Silence. Then. ‘You’re planning on staying for how long?’
‘Until tomorrow.’
‘You need to stay longer.’
‘Cal, let’s not…’
‘Let’s not what?’
‘There’s no obligation on your part to care for him.’
‘He looks like me.’ It was a flat, inflexionless statement of fact but there was pain behind it. She could hear it.
‘That’s still no reason for you to be involved.’
‘Dammit, Gina, he’s my son.’
She thought about that while a mile—maybe two—disappeared under their wheels.
‘Yes, Cal, he is,’ she said at last. ‘But you need to think of the whole picture. CJ’s happy thinking Paul is his daddy. Are you sure you want to change that?’ She hesitated. ‘And I don’t want to upset what’s between you and Emily.’
‘There’s nothing between me and Emily.’
She sighed. ‘Of course there’s not.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘There’s nothing between you and anyone.’
‘You and I—’
‘Were lovers,’ she said flatly. ‘But we weren’t committed.’
‘Because you ran.’
‘I had no choice and you know it. Don’t play the abandoned lover on me, Cal. You know you don’t need me emotionally. You never have and you never will. And CJ…’
‘What about CJ?’ He was practically glowering.
‘If you acknowledge him now, then you need to do commitment. There’s no way you can say proudly you’re his daddy and then not see him again.’
‘You think that’s what I want?’
‘I don’t know what you want. Do you?’
No answer.
Cal needed to concentrate now. They were approaching a rocky outcrop and the road was no longer clear. The country was growing rougher.
Kids were drag racing here? Gina thought, flinching inside at what lay ahead.
‘Little fools,’ Cal muttered, and she knew that his thoughts had veered back to what lay ahead as well.
‘Locals, do you think?’
‘Nothing surer,’ he said grimly. ‘There is a settlement just inland from here. Many of the local indigenous people are tribal—they live as they’ve lived for thousands of years. But the ones in the settlements…’
He broke off and concentrated on another corner. But then he started again.
‘They’re so disadvantaged,’ he said savagely, and all at once his hands were white on the steering-wheel. His voice was passionate. ‘Loss of their culture has left them in no man’s land. There’s nothing for them to look forward to, nothing for them to hold to. And they’re self-destructing because of it.’
‘I know,’ she whispered.
‘Yeah,’ he said roughly. ‘I remember that you do. When you were in Townsville you had such plans. You seemed to care so much. But off you went, back home to be a cardiologist.’
‘That’s not fair.’
But he wasn’t listening. ‘You know, your breakfast group disintegrated as soon as you left. The medics were stretched as far as they could go already. There was no funding and no enthusiasm for taking it forward.’
‘You’re blaming me that it ended?’
‘You never should have started it.’
‘Maybe I shouldn’t have,’ she said through gritted teeth.
It had been a small enough thing that she’d done. She’d taken a group of teenage girls—some pregnant, all in danger of being pregnant—and she’d invited them for breakfast. They’d met in a local café down by the river twice a week. Boys had been excluded. They’d swum, they’d eaten the huge breakfast Gina had managed to scrounge from local businesses—a breakfast of things the kids hardly saw for the rest of the week, such as milk and meat and fresh fruit. Then they’d played with cosmetics and beauty products, also provided by the businesses Gina had badgered. She’d worked really hard to keep their interest, inviting guests such as hairstylists, models, cosmeticians—anyone the girls would have thought cool.
She’d also sneaked in the odd gynaecologist and dietician and welfare support person, all selected for their cool factor as well as for the advice they’d been able to give.
The girls had thought it was wonderful—an exclusive club for twelve-to sixteen-year-olds. It had been working brilliantly, Gina thought. Too brilliantly. Only Gina knew what a pang it had cost her to walk away.
But she hadn’t been alone in her enthusiasm. ‘You had a boys’ group,’ she said softly. ‘Did you walk away, too?’
‘I moved up here.’
‘You mean you did walk away.’ She bit her lip. ‘Cal, I had an excuse. I was going home to care for Paul. What about you?’
‘That’s none of your business.’
‘No,’ she whispered. She stared out into the darkness, thinking of what she and Cal had started. What they could have achieved if they’d stayed together.
Maybe Cal was right. Don’t get involved.
‘These kids in the crash,’she said tentatively СКАЧАТЬ