The Greek Bachelors Collection. Rebecca Winters

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СКАЧАТЬ “That’s the point.”

      She laughed, but he only scowled as he chewed and swallowed.

      “I need to talk to Adara about curtailing the worst of my travel. Whether you marry me or not, I have to be available to Zephyr, but I’ll always have to do some globe-trotting. I don’t particularly care for Paris as a base, but it’s closer to India than New York. Could you stand it?”

      “Could you?” she challenged, taking in the tight grip he had on his fork with a tilt of her equilibrium into caution. “I’m actually quite flexible. I’ve started over in new places several times. You live in your helicopter. You’re used to doing what you like. Having a wife and child would turn your life upside down, Theo.”

      “I’m aware,” he stated flatly, setting down his utensils to stroke restless hands up and down his thighs. “And I won’t claim that I’d be easy to live with, especially in the beginning, but I keep coming back to what I can offer you in terms of security and protection. Marriage is the simplest way to accomplish that.”

      She ought to be flattered, she supposed. There was a type of caring in his bland statement, even if it was the kind one usually showed to, say, an expensive boat or maybe a herd of cattle. On some level he valued her, she deduced. That was nice, but it wasn’t enough to sustain a marriage.

      Their conversation drifted to what kind of placement she could have with Makricosta’s, as his wife or not, and they didn’t talk about marriage again until they’d returned to the suite.

      First they had to release the matronly Madame Begnoche and Theo had to negotiate a peace treaty with Bina. She was very sad to learn that Theo wanted Zephyr living with him rather than coming to South America with her and Quentin.

      “Pyaari beti,” Jaya reminded gently, “You know I was going to stay in France and not come with you and your papa.”

      “I know, but, but...” Her voice threatened to crack into sobs.

      Theo extracted a business card and wrote on it before he handed it to Bina. “This is my personal mobile. Call anytime you are missing Zephyr. We probably won’t be able to come to you that day, but we’ll try to visit within the week. Or, if your father agrees, I’ll bring you to visit him. We’ll work it out, I promise.”

      “Thank you,” she said in a heavy but mollified voice, blinking her damp doe eyes.

      When she held up her arms, Theo didn’t get it. Jaya had to touch his shoulder and nod. “She wants to hug you.”

      “Oh, um.” Clearing his throat, he went down on one knee so Bina could squeeze his neck with her spindly arms. He patted her back awkwardly and deflated with a heavy exhale after she left to meet Oscar and the limo, Theo’s treat.

      “Thank you,” Jaya said to him. “But you can’t keep offering to fly me and my family around the world.”

      “Why not?”

      Because I haven’t agreed to marry you, she almost said, but she suspected it didn’t matter. He’d do it regardless. “You’re a soft touch when it comes to kids, aren’t you?”

      “I don’t know what that means, but having Nic disappear on us was a trauma I don’t want to drop on my own son.”

      Oh, right. She swallowed, watching him run a fingertip along his eyebrow. She wondered if he was looking for another argument to persuade her to marry him.

      “Theo.” She sat heavily in the middle of the sofa.

      His head came up, expression patient.

      Her heart grew achy and she had to look at her fingernails. “I don’t want to string you along wondering what you have to do to convince me to marry you. I’m not hesitating because I’m afraid of going to bed with you.”

      She bit her lips, keeping her head down while stealing a quick peek upward, noting that she had his attention, one thousand percent. He was virility personified, all his masculine features sharpened, his wide shoulders tense and defined beneath his crisp white shirt.

      “Actually, I am a little nervous about that. I’ve had a baby since the last time and it’s not like I’ve had a lot of practice...” She swallowed.

      “We’ll be amazing, Jaya. Just like last time.” His voice reverberated deep in his chest.

      If she hadn’t been sitting, she would have fallen, he made her so weak. She grasped for the words she needed to say. “I’m not afraid you’d be violent or disrespectful, either. I know I could trust you about most things.”

      “But not all things.” Tone cracked with a jag of disbelief, he recoiled in hurt.

      She swallowed, knowing this would be difficult.

      “You didn’t call me back,” she said in a small voice. “I know you said you wouldn’t, but...” She tried to shrug off how foolish she felt, how bare this fantasy of hers left her. “I thought I was different. I thought you liked me.”

      His face transformed in slow degrees, falling from intense focus on her to inward comprehension, into lost hope and finally, self-hatred.

      “I don’t expect you to love me,” she rushed to say, even though it tore open something inside her. “But I always wanted to marry for love.” Such a girlish dream, so romantic and silly. That’s the message she’d always received, but she still wanted it. “I need something between us that’s not just practicality and hormones. Those things aren’t a real bond. They’re not something you fight for. But if you had any feelings for me at all...”

      He did his thing where he froze. Not shrinking. He didn’t cringe, but he braced himself. Like he refused to show how vulnerable he felt, while at the same time expected great pain. “I don’t understand why you’d want me to.”

      Careful, she urged herself. He wasn’t being arrogant or callous. He probably, genuinely didn’t understand. She heard the barest inflection on me in his statement and knew this was more about his low opinion of himself than lack of regard for her.

      Licking her lips, choosing her words with care, she said, “Everyone wants to be liked. Don’t you?”

      He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter to me either way.” Because he’d been reviled by someone who was supposed to love him. The abraded edges of her heart frayed and stung.

      “What about your sister? Surely it matters to you that she loves you?”

      His shoulder jerked, almost like he was deflecting a blow. “I’m sure she values my loyalty. I take satisfaction in knowing she can count on me.”

      He only took what pride he gave himself, would never ask for a smidgen more even from a woman he’d take a bullet to protect. How utterly abandoned he must have felt to mold himself into someone so inaccessible.

      “Well, I want to be liked,” Jaya said with one hand cupped in the palm of the other, trying to project calm control when emotion tore at her throat. “I’d like whatever attraction you feel toward me to be for more than whatever parts of me fit into lingerie. Because I think you’re a very good-looking man, but when I say I’m attracted to you, I mean that I like you, Theo.” Love, a voice inside her contradicted, but it was СКАЧАТЬ