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      ‘In passing?’ The cynicism in his brother’s voice tore at him. ‘A moment here or there? You didn’t even say goodbye.’

      Sandro glanced down. No more excuses. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said quietly. ‘I should have. I should have done it all differently.’

      ‘So why did you leave, out of curiosity?’ Leo asked after a moment. ‘Did it all just get a bit much for you?’

      ‘I suppose you could say that. I felt— I honestly felt as if I’d lose my soul if I stayed another minute. All the lies, Leo, all the pretending. I couldn’t stand it.’

      ‘Neither could I.’

      ‘I know.’ Sandro dragged in a breath. ‘And I’m sorry if it felt as if I were dumping you in it. But when Father disinherited me— Well, I had no choice then. I had no place here.’

      Leo’s expression tightened. ‘He only disinherited you because you told him you were leaving.’

      ‘I was bluffing,’ Sandro confessed flatly. He felt that familiar ache in his chest. ‘I was trying to make him admit— Oh, God, I don’t even know what. That he needed me. Loved me.’ He blinked hard and set his jaw. ‘Stupid, I know.’

      He couldn’t look at Leo, didn’t want to see the pity or scorn on his brother’s face. ‘Not stupid,’ Leo said after a moment. ‘Naive, maybe, in believing there was anything good in him. He was the most selfish man I ever knew.’

      ‘And I can’t believe I didn’t see that until I was eighteen years old. You saw through him from the first, didn’t you? And I insisted on believing he was a good man. That he loved me.’

      Leo shrugged. ‘I was always more cynical than you.’

      ‘I am sorry,’ Sandro said again, and he felt his regret and remorse with every fibre of his being. He hoped his brother did too. ‘I should have reached out to you. Explained. And when I came back I should have asked if you still wanted to be king—’

      ‘It’s not a game of pass the parcel, Sandro. Father chose you to be king. He never really wanted me.’

      Sandro shook his head. ‘That’s not true. It was me he didn’t want.’

      Leo let out a hard bark of laughter. ‘Oh? How do you reckon that?’

      ‘He told me. When I threatened to leave. He said he didn’t care, I should go right ahead, because he had another son who would do just as well.’

      Leo stared at him for a long moment. ‘He never acted as if he thought I would,’ he finally said. ‘He was always telling me how I was second choice, second best, and he only put up with me at all because you were out of the picture.’

      Sandro shook his head slowly. ‘What a bastard.’

      ‘I know.’

      They sat in silence for a moment, but it lacked the tension and hostility of a few moments before. It felt more like grief.

      ‘Even when I came back,’ Sandro finally said, the words painful to admit even though he knew Leo needed to hear them, ‘he said he’d still rather have you as his heir. It was only because of the media fallout with Alyse that he summoned me.’

      ‘He was just looking for an excuse to get you back.’

      ‘I don’t know.’ Sandro sat back in his chair, weary and heartsick at the thought of how their father had manipulated them for so long. Hurt them with his casual cruelty. ‘It’s all so pointless. Why did he want us both to feel like a second choice? What good would it do?’

      ‘Because he was a weak man and he wanted us to be weak. Strength scared him. If one of us was actually a decent king, his own legacy would look even worse.’

      ‘Maybe so.’ They were both silent for a moment, and then, a new heaviness inside him, Sandro spoke again. ‘And you would be a good king, Leo, no matter what our father thought.’

      Leo just shrugged. ‘I would have done my duty, just as you will.’

      ‘I wish I’d known—’

      ‘Do you, really?’ There was no anger in Leo’s voice, just a certain shrewdness. ‘Because you never asked.’

      ‘I know.’ His own weakness shamed him. He hadn’t asked because he hadn’t really wanted to know, no matter what he said now. Hadn’t wanted to consider that not only did he not deserve his title, but his brother did. ‘I’ve been ashamed of myself, Leo. For running away all those years ago. For not being strong enough to stay. What kind of king acts like that?’

      Leo was silent for a long moment. ‘Sometimes it’s stronger to go.’

      ‘It didn’t feel like strength to me.’

      ‘You did what you needed to do, Sandro. There’s no point raking yourself over the coals now. The past is finished.’

      ‘It’s not finished,’ Sandro said quietly. ‘Not yet.’

      Leo frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

      He met his brother’s gaze squarely. ‘You should be king.’

      Leo narrowed his eyes. ‘Sandro—’

      ‘I shouldn’t have come back,’ he continued steadily, as if Leo hadn’t even spoken. ‘If I hadn’t, you’d be king now. All those plans, all those proposals—you’d have put them into place.’

      Leo just shrugged again, but Sandro saw a certain tautness to his brother’s mouth, a hardness in his eyes. He was right; his brother still wanted to be king. Still should be king. ‘Tell me, Leo, that there isn’t at least a part of you that wants what you deserve. What you’d been preparing for, for half of your life. It’s only natural—’

      ‘Fine. Yes.’ Leo bit off the words and spat them out. ‘I’ll admit it. A part. It’s hard to let go of certain expectations of what you think your life is going to look like. I thought I’d be king, and I wanted to be a damn good one after Father. Then in the matter of a moment it was snatched away from me. I won’t pretend that didn’t sting a little, Sandro.’

      ‘More than a little.’

      ‘Fine. Yes. What does it matter now?’

      ‘It matters now,’ Sandro said quietly, ‘because I should abdicate. Let you take the throne as planned.’

      Leo’s eyebrows shot up. ‘Don’t be ridiculous—’

      ‘I’ve only been king for six months. A blip on the radar. The people here don’t even know me, except as the brother who ran away.’ His smile twisted. ‘The prodigal son. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. I suppose I was too blinded by my own misery. But it makes sense, Leo. You know it does.’

      ‘I don’t know anything of the sort.’ Leo’s jaw bunched. ‘Stop talking nonsense, Sandro.’

      ‘It isn’t nonsense—’

      ‘Do СКАЧАТЬ