The Wedding Party And Holiday Escapes Ultimate Collection. Кейт Хьюит

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СКАЧАТЬ let out a shudder, and he shook his head. ‘Why, Liana? You agreed to this marriage, as I did. Why can’t we find this pleasurable at least?’

      ‘Because...’ Because she wasn’t strong enough. She’d open herself up to him just a little and a tidal wave of emotion would rush through her. She wouldn’t be able to hold it back and it would devastate her. She knew it instinctively, knew that giving in just a little to Sandro would crack her right open, shatter her into pieces. She’d never come together again.

      How could she explain all of that?

      And yet even so, she knew she had to stop fighting him, stop this futile resistance, because what purpose did it really serve? She was married to this man. She had known they would consummate this marriage. She just hadn’t expected to feel so much.

      ‘Liana,’ Sandro said, and he sounded so tired. Weary of this, of her.

      ‘I’m sorry,’ she said quietly. ‘I’ll...I’ll try better.’

      ‘Try better?’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘You don’t need to prove yourself to me, Liana.’

      Didn’t she? Hadn’t she been proving herself to her parents, to everyone, for so long she didn’t know how to do anything else? How to just be?

      She dragged in a deep breath. ‘Let’s...start over.’ She forced herself to meet his narrowed gaze, even to smile although she felt her lips tremble, and the tears she’d kept at bay for so long threatened once more to spill.

      When had she become so emotionally fragile? Why did this man call up such feelings in her? She wanted to be strong again. She wanted to be safe.

      She wanted to get this awful, exposing encounter over with.

      ‘Start over,’ Sandro repeated. ‘I’m wondering just how far we need to go back.’

      ‘Not that far.’ She made her smile brighter, more determined. She could do this. They’d get over this, and life would be safe again. ‘You’re right. I...I do want you.’ The words were like rocks in her mouth; she nearly choked on them. Willing her hands to be steady, she undid the sash of her robe, shrugged it off, and stood before him naked.

      Sandro’s gaze widened, and Liana felt herself flush, a rosy stain covering her whole body that could not be hidden. And she longed to hide it, hide her whole self, mind and body and heart, yet she forced herself to stand there, chin tilted proudly, back straight. Proud and yet accepting.

      Sandro shook his head, and her heart swooped inside her. ‘This isn’t starting over,’ he said quietly. ‘This is you just gritting your teeth a bit more and putting a game face on.’

      ‘No—’ she said, and with desperation driving her, a desperate need to get this all finished with so she could hide once more, she crossed to him and, pressing her naked body against his, she kissed him.

      * * *

      Sandro felt the softness of her breasts brush his bare chest, her lips hard and demanding on his, a supplication his libido responded to with instant acceptance. Instinctively his arms came up and he pulled her closer, fitted her against the throb of his arousal and claimed the kiss as his own.

      She tasted so sweet, and her body was so soft and pliant against his. Too pliant. He inwardly cursed.

      He didn’t want this. Liana might be submitting to him, but it was an awful, insulting submission. He wanted her want, needed her not just to acknowledge her desire of him, but to embrace it, him, even if just physically. Emotionally they might be poles apart, but couldn’t they at least have this?

      Almost roughly, his own hands shaking, he pushed her away from him and shook his head.

      ‘No. Not like this.’

      Her eyes widened. ‘Why not?’

      He stared at her for a moment, wondering just what was going on behind that beautiful, blank face. Except she wasn’t quite so blank right now. Her eyes were filled with panic, and her breath came in uneven, frantic gasps.

      This wasn’t the understandable shy reticence of a virgin, or even the haughty acceptance of the ice queen he’d thought she was. This was, he realised with a sudden jolt of shock, pure fear.

      ‘Liana...’ He put his hands on her shoulders and felt a shudder rack her body. ‘Did you have a bad experience?’ he asked quietly. ‘With a man? Is that why you’re afraid of me? Of physical intimacy?’

      She whirled away, snatched up her robe, and pushed her arms into the billowing sleeves. ‘I’m not afraid.’

      ‘You’re certainly giving a good impression, then.’ He folded his arms, a cold certainty settling inside him. Something had happened to her. It all made sense: her extreme devotion to her charity work, her lack of relationships, her fear of natural desire. ‘Were you...abused? Raped?’

      She whirled back round to face him, a look of shocked disbelief on her face. ‘No!’

      ‘Most women wouldn’t fight a natural, healthy desire for a man, Liana. A man who has admitted he wants you. Why do you?’

      ‘Because...’ She licked her lips. ‘Because I wasn’t expecting it,’ she finally said and he raised his eyebrows.

      ‘You weren’t expecting us to find the physical side of things pleasant? Why not?’

      She shrugged. ‘Nothing about this marriage or our meeting suggested we would.’

      ‘The kiss we shared six weeks ago didn’t clue you in?’ he asked, a gentle hint of humour entering his voice, surprising even him.

      She blushed. He liked it when she blushed, liked how it lit up her face and her eyes, her whole self. It gave him hope. ‘Before that, I mean,’ she muttered.

      ‘All right, fine. You weren’t expecting it. But now it’s here between us, and you’re still fighting it. Why?’

      She hesitated, her gaze lowered, before she lifted her face and pinned him with a clear, violet stare. ‘Because I agreed to this marriage because it was convenient, and I didn’t want anything else. I didn’t want love or even affection. I didn’t want to get to know you beyond a...a friendly kind of agreement. I thought that’s how you would think of this marriage too, and so far nothing—’ her breath hitched, her face now fiery ‘—nothing has been like I expected!’

      He didn’t know whether to laugh or groan. ‘But you’re still not telling me why you don’t want those things,’ Sandro finally said quietly. ‘Why you don’t want love or affection.’ And while her admission didn’t surprise him, he suspected the reason for it was different from what he’d thought. She wasn’t cold. She was hiding.

      She stared at him mutinously, and then her lower lip trembled. It made him, suddenly and fiercely, want to take her in his arms and kiss that wobbling lip. Kiss the tears that shimmered in her eyes, tears he knew instinctively she wouldn’t let fall. Then the moment passed and her expression became remote once more. ‘I just don’t.’

      ‘Still not an answer, Liana.’

      ‘Well, it’s the only one I have to give you.’

      ‘So СКАЧАТЬ