Modern Romance August Books 1-4. Кейт Хьюит

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СКАЧАТЬ wondered why she was telling him how he felt. Did she really think he was so inadequate that he couldn’t work out his own feelings for himself? Annoyance slashed through him and he wanted to express it but he was horrendously aware of the experience she had undergone and that it was his duty not to make the situation worse.

      ‘Our marriage was all about the baby and everything you have ever shared with me related to the baby and the baby’s future needs. Without our baby...’ Grace framed unsteadily, tears glinting in her over-bright eyes ‘...we don’t have a marriage. We don’t even have a relationship. We can get a divorce now.’

      ‘Are you insane?’ Leo heard himself snap back at her, all self-discipline vanquished by her use of that bombshell word. Divorce? How was he supposed to listen to that in polite and understanding silence?

      ‘I’m looking at a guy who doesn’t even wear a wedding ring!’ Grace shot at him equally out of the blue and Leo looked down at his bare hand in bewilderment, wondering what wedding rings had to do with anything and whether simply leaving the room would be wiser than remaining.

      ‘You never bothered to ask but I would’ve liked to get married in a church. But then you never really wanted to be properly married to me, so obviously you didn’t bother to ask my preferences. You didn’t choose me,’ Grace condemned heatedly. ‘You married me because I was pregnant, so why would we stay together now?’ she demanded emotively.

      Leo lifted stunned dark golden eyes from the offending hand that lacked a wedding ring and thought how sneaky women could be. She had never mentioned his omission or the church thing. She had never by so much as a hint let him know how she felt about him not wearing a wedding ring and now he was being hung out to dry for a sin he hadn’t known he had committed. How fair was that?

      ‘I can buy a wedding ring,’ Leo pointed out gruffly.

      ‘That’s not the point!’ Grace exclaimed in seething frustration because he was not giving her the reaction she had expected: he was not looking guiltily relieved.

      ‘Then why did you mention it? And could we have this conversation at some other time when you’re not emotionally overwrought and we’re both feeling calmer?’ Leo pressed grittily. ‘Because right now is not working for me.’

      Grace lifted her chin. ‘I thought it was better to say it and get it out in the open. I don’t want you faking what you don’t feel. You felt things for the baby, not for me.’

      ‘That is untrue,’ Leo grated, losing patience. ‘You’re my wife and I made a serious commitment to you.’

      ‘But I don’t want your cold sense of commitment...I want love!’ Grace flung back at him helplessly.

      ‘I warned you that I couldn’t put that on the table,’ Leo breathed harshly.

      ‘Oh, you could if you wanted to,’ Grace fielded with unmistakeable bitterness. ‘But you don’t want to. And do you know why? It’s not because you had an unhappy childhood, it’s because you’re an emotional coward.’

      His nostrils flared, his eyes kindling like flames. ‘Let’s not descend to that level.’

      ‘But it’s true. You don’t get involved because you’re scared of getting hurt. Nobody wants to get hurt, Leo, but most of us still try to make a relationship that goes further than practicality and convenient sex. You’re too busy protecting yourself to even give it a go.’ Exhausted by telling him what was wrong with their marriage, Grace fell back against the pillows, drained by emotion. ‘Go back to the castle.’

      ‘To start planning our divorce?’ Leo challenged darkly.

      ‘It’s inevitable now,’ she whispered numbly, her heart heavy as lead inside her tight chest. ‘There’s nothing left to keep us together.’

      ‘If you really want me to leave, I’ll leave and come back first thing in the morning,’ he bit out grimly, his darkly handsome features bleak with constraint.

      ‘There’s no point you coming back for the second scan.’ Grace knew she would cry then because, no matter how hard she was striving to be realistic, a little spark of hope still flourished inside her. She would be shattered when she received the confirmation that, yes, she had miscarried and lost their baby and she didn’t want Leo to witness that emotional breakdown and start feeling sorry for her again. ‘I could handle that better alone. I’ll be able to leave the hospital straight after it.’

      ‘To do what? Fly back to London?’ Leo demanded bitterly. ‘You’re in no fit state for that. At the very least you need to spend a couple of weeks recuperating. If it makes you happier, I’ll leave and you can have the castle all to yourself. At this moment I feel that getting fully back to work would be a welcome distraction.’

      ‘I didn’t want it to be like this, Leo,’ Grace muttered wretchedly. ‘I know you’re upset as well.’

      ‘I’m not upset.’ Leo swung round and left the room, walked down the corridor and settled in the waiting room. He wasn’t just upset, he was furious. She was his wife and she was shutting him out, dismissing him as a husband as if he were of no account.

      Did he really deserve a wife who had such a low opinion of him? Did she think he had been faking it with her for the whole of the past month? Faking the passion, the laughter, the enjoyment? Without warning he badly wanted a drink and he wanted to punch something hard. He leapt upright again and paced. Grace was stubborn and rigid in her views. That wedding-ring jibe? How could she be so petty?

      Unfortunately, her prejudice against her father for the way she had believed he had treated her late mother had ensured that Grace had not had a very high opinion of men even to begin with. And how much had Leo’s own behaviour since their first meeting contributed to her continuing distrust? The casual one-night stand? The engagement he had neglected to mention? The blackmail he had used to persuade her to marry him? His conduct had been less than stellar.

      But Leo had always had a can-do approach to problems. Grace wanted him to love her? He could lie and tell her he loved her. Was he willing to do anything to keep her? Leo winced, shocked by the concept. What had she done to his brain? His brain clearly wasn’t working properly. Shock and sorrow had temporarily deranged his wits because for the first time since childhood he felt helpless and almost panicky.

      It felt wrong not being with Grace although maybe she genuinely needed time alone to deal with what had happened. He couldn’t help wishing she had turned to him, leant on him. He spoke to the nurse in charge, asking her to contact him if Grace’s condition changed, and then he breathed in deep and fought his reluctance to leave the hospital. Perhaps if Grace slept a while, she would be more normal in the morning, a little less worked up and fatalistic, although it was hard to see how a confirmation of the miscarriage would do anything to improve her outlook.

      Leo helped himself to a whiskey in his limousine. He would get stinking drunk and stop agonising over a situation he couldn’t fix, he decided despondently. He checked his phone to see if Grace had texted him; she had not. He embarked on a second whiskey while wondering if a wedding ring could really mean that much to a woman and he thought about texting Grace to ask to have that mystery explained. But there was a yawning hole stretching ever wider somewhere inside his chest. He thought about the baby, the baby that wasn’t going to be, and his eyes burned and prickled, deep regret engulfing him.

      He lifted his phone again, needing to talk to Grace, wanting to share his thoughts with a woman СКАЧАТЬ