Six Sexy Doctors Part 2. Joanna Neil

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      ‘And so you did the honourable thing?’ Meagan said softly.

      ‘I had no choice, She said if I wouldn’t marry her, she would terminate the pregnancy.’ Cameron’s voice held the echo of the anguish he had felt.

      ‘She wanted to marry you despite not really wanting your child?’ Meagan said. How could any woman think like that? If Rachel had loved Cameron enough to want to marry him, surely she would have wanted his baby?

      ‘I don’t think Rachel ever truly loved me,’ Cameron went on, answering Meagan’s unspoken question. ‘It was the idea of being Lady Grimsay she loved.’ He laughed but there was little humour in the sound. ‘I think she assumed when we got married we would live in London and spend all our time socialising.’

      ‘But you married her nevertheless? Knowing she didn’t love you? Knowing that she was the kind of woman who would end a pregnancy because she didn’t get her own way?’

      ‘I told you I had no option. I couldn’t take the risk that she’d carry out her threat. I wanted my child.’

      ‘Why didn’t you tell me at least?’

      ‘There was no point. I could have come to you and told you. I couldn’t have done it over the phone, but I knew if I saw you I might not be able to go through with the marriage.’

      ‘So you married a woman you didn’t love. Someone who was more suited to the role of being Lady Grimsay?’ Meagan couldn’t help keep the bitterness from her voice.

      ‘I was fond of her. I thought it was enough to make the marriage work. I thought that once we were a family, it would be different.’

      ‘Then what happened?’ Meagan said into the silence.

      ‘Rachel wanted us to live in London. So we moved there. I completed my specialist training and started looking for a consultant post. But then she started getting modelling jobs. Eventually she was travelling all over the world, and I was looking after Ian with the help of a string of nannies. It was hopeless. My son was hardly seeing either of his parents. I missed being here but more importantly I was missing seeing my son grow up. Then Rachel met someone else. I could hardly blame her. I was never at home and when I was I was too tired to go out to parties with her. And I thought that we should be spending any spare time at home—together—as a family.’

      Gently Cameron disengaged himself from Meagan and started pulling on his jeans. Mutely Meagan started getting dressed too. She shivered and it wasn’t just from the gathering coolness in the air. Cameron stood apart from her as if he was already beginning to regret making love to her.

      ‘The final straw came before her affair. I told her I wanted us all to move back here. My mother had died and my father was getting frailer. He needed my help. Rachel was furious. She wasn’t prepared to give up her city lifestyle to live here. Then I found about the affair.’ His mouth twisted. ‘He was very rich, much richer than an impoverished Scottish lord whose main income came from his salary as a GP. We agreed to divorce and that I would move back here with Ian. It made sense. He’ll be Lord Grimsay one day, with all the responsibilities that entails. We agreed that Rachel would come and see him whenever she could. But in the meantime he’d have stability in a community that knows and loves him.’

      He moved towards Meagan. ‘Rachel’s lover never did marry her, and she discovered that there were elements of being Lady Grimsay that she missed. She wanted us to give it another go. So, you see, It’s all a bit of a mess. But there is one thing I’ll never regret—and that’s my son. He’s the most important thing in my life.’

      How lucky Rachel was and she seemed to have no idea. Meagan would have given anything to have had a child and had she been given the chance, she would never have allowed anything or anybody to take that child away from her. The pain she felt at losing her chance of a baby was still intense. Would it ever fade? she wondered.

      Cameron must have seen something in her expression. ‘What about you?’ he asked. ‘Did you and your husband not want children—or were you not ready yet?’ Meagan looked up at the sky and watched the clouds for a moment.

      ‘I fell pregnant,’ she said ‘but at eight weeks I had to have emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy in one of my Fallopian tubes.’ Cameron stepped closer, drawing her into his arms.

      ‘I was devastated—we both were. And what was worse was they discovered my other tube was also damaged. So I am unlikely ever to have children.’ She felt her voice break as she remembered how she had felt when they had told her the news.

      ‘Charlie always wanted a big family. Although he said it didn’t matter, I knew it did. And then I…’ She broke off and took a breath before continuing. ‘I threw myself into my work. I guess from then on we just drifted apart. We spent hardly any time together. We were like strangers.’

      She stopped for a moment letting the memories wash over her. She remembered coming into their empty flat, leaving before Charlie was up, how their sex life had dwindled away to nothing. They had hardly spoken. Oh, he had tried at first, but she had been too wrapped up in her own pain to notice his.

      ‘And then,’ she went on in a rush, wanting to tell him everything, ‘one day I got a phone call. Charlie had been driving to a conference and his car had swerved to miss a car on the wrong side of the road. He was killed instantly. I never got the chance to say goodbye, that I was sorry.’ She felt her eyes fill with tears and her throat tightened. ‘He wasn’t alone in the car. He was with a colleague—a nurse—who was going to the same conference. She escaped with a few minor injuries. She came to see me after the funeral, told me they had been in love and that he hadn’t known how to tell me. It was the deceit of his affair that almost destroyed me. Why couldn’t he have told me the truth? I would have let him go. I knew I didn’t love him and I would have wanted him to be happy. I felt so guilty. It wasn’t fair. Just because I couldn’t have children, I shouldn’t have made both our lives a misery. I should have encouraged him to leave.’

      Cameron pulled Meagan back down on the sand and she buried her head in his shoulder.

      ‘After the funeral I ran away. I wanted to be where no one knew me. Oh, I loved my time with Médecins Sans Frontières but I’m not proud of the reason I took the job.’

      ‘And now?’ Cameron prompted gently. ‘How do you feel now?’

      Meagan closed her eyes as she thought for a moment. How did she honestly feel now? she wondered. She had spent the last few years feeling torn by Charlie’s affair, and the happiness he had missed out on. Now with sudden clarity she realised she had been burying her grief—for her lost child, for the babies she would never have, for the failure of a marriage that had begun with so much love and promise—behind a wall of anger and resentment. Putting all the blame on Charlie, when she was just as much to blame for the breakdown of their marriage. It had been easier for her to keep the anger simmering rather than acknowledging the pain and grief she feared would overwhelm her.

      ‘Charlie thought it would break my heart if I found out he was with another woman. But he was wrong. I would have been glad for him. I realise that now.’ She turned to Cameron. ‘Isn’t that so sad? How we think that by not being honest with people we’re protecting them when all we’re doing is hurting them and ourselves more.’ She sat up and hugged her knees, suddenly feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Charlie had been denied a happy ending, and for that she’d always feel partially responsible, but that didn’t mean she should deny herself one too. ‘I feel СКАЧАТЬ