Smoke And Ashes. Danica Winters

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      “Baseball practice ran long.” He didn’t turn around. “When I made it to the Millers’, the party was over.”

      “You mind looking at me? I’m trying to talk to you.”

      His son shifted a few degrees in his seat. “What? I’m talking to you.”

      Kevin had never been much of a disciplinarian—that had always been more Allison’s job. God, he wished she was here.

      Once again he was reminded how badly he wanted a woman in their lives, someone he could share the ups and downs with, someone he could hold in his arms at night—someone like Heather.

      “Is Heather going to come to my game?” Colter asked, as if he could somehow sense what was on Kevin’s mind.

      “I don’t know. If you’d made it to the party, you could’ve asked her yourself. Where were you?”

      “God, don’t you get tired of asking the same questions? I told you... Baseball practice ran late. When I got to the party it was shut down. I didn’t stick around.”

      “You don’t expect me to believe that baseball practice lasted that long, do you?” Kevin leaned against Colter’s door frame, half in and half out of the bedroom, just far enough in to let him know that he had his full attention, but far enough out that it wasn’t a confrontation.

      Then again, everything with Colter these days was a confrontation.

      “Were you with a girl?”

      Colter tapped at his keyboard. “No.”

      He was getting nowhere. “I would appreciate it if you would do as I ask. It’s important that I can count on you, or else this free-for-all is going to come to a screeching halt. No more baseball. No more girls. No more friends.”

      His son spun around and cursed.

      He twitched at the sound of his son’s language. That was a new one.

      “If you want to talk and act like a big man, that’s fine, bud. But you need to know you’re causing problems. I’m trying to do my best here. I’m sorry I can’t be everywhere, but you aren’t making this any easier. I need to trust you, okay?”

      Colter’s expression remained blank. He would make one hell of a poker player.

      “Fine.”

      “Will you let me know when baseball practice runs late again? Please?”

      “Fine.”

      “I love you, kid, but this attitude needs to come to an end.” Kevin pushed off the door frame. “Get to bed. You have school in the morning.”

      Colter turned back around in his chair to face his computer. “Got it.”

      Kevin closed the door and walked into the living room.

      Every day since Allison had died, some more of Colter seemed to fade. No matter how hard Kevin had tried, no matter how many parenting books he had read, he had failed at helping his son—just like he’d failed to save Allison. He couldn’t help but feel as though he was on the brink of losing someone else he loved.

      There was a knock at the door and he went to answer it, wondering who was calling on him now.

      Heather stood on the top step. Her hair was disheveled, her eyes were red as if she’d been crying, her deep V-neck shirt was wet and soiled.

      “What happened?” He motioned for her to come inside.

      “I’m sorry. I didn’t know where to go. Brittany wasn’t answering.”

      “Come on in.” He stepped aside. He would have asked her what was wrong, but after what he had seen at the barbecue there was no point.

      She stumbled to the couch and sat with her feet curled beneath her. “Thank you.” She dabbed at her eyes. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

      “No. I just put the kids to bed.” He pointed at her shirt. “You want something clean to wear?”

      She looked down and her mouth dropped open. “Oh, my God... Those damn margaritas.”

      “Be right back.” He went to his bedroom and came back with a shirt. “Here, you can have this.” He handed it to her and turned his back as she slipped off her V-neck. In the mirror by the door, he caught a glimpse of her naked breasts. He stiffened as he looked away. No matter how much he wanted to look at her, to take those puckered pink nipples into his mouth and make them his, she belonged to someone else.

      “I’m done,” she said. “Thanks for the shirt.”

      He turned but didn’t know where to go, so he just stood there. “You’re welcome.”

      Normally around women he was cool and collected. Yet with Heather, it was different. She was different. And no matter how badly he tried to break into work mode, treating her as though she was just another victim, he couldn’t. He didn’t feel right taking her by the hand and telling her it would all be okay. If he touched her, he might not be able to let her go.

      “You want something to drink?” He moved toward the kitchen.

      She stared into space. “David wants a divorce. He has the papers ready. I don’t know what to do.”

      “What?” Kevin stopped and turned to her.

      “Don’t make me say it again. It doesn’t feel real. None of this feels real.”

      “I get it.” He felt like a moron, but he couldn’t think of the right thing to say.

      In a way, he’d been in her shoes when he had found out about Allison’s death. A part of him had died in that moment. No matter how many times people said “I’m sorry,” nothing could staunch the pain.

      “I never thought this day would come. I mean...we’ve been unhappy. I thought maybe, but...I thought we’d make it through this. I should have seen this coming.”

      “When you love someone, sometimes you don’t see what’s staring back at you.”

      “What do you mean?”

      He thought back to David hitting on Brittany at the barbecue. If Heather hadn’t seen it, he was the last person who should tell her.

      “Nothing. I just mean—”

      “You think he doesn’t love me?”

      “I didn’t say that,” he said, mentally trying to backpedal.

      “It’s okay. I know he doesn’t. It’s been a long time since...well, since I think he felt something other than contempt toward me. A divorce seems like the only answer.”

      “Is that what you want—a divorce?” The question came from a place inside him where he begged that she would say yes.

      She didn’t answer. СКАЧАТЬ