Baby It's Cold Outside. Kerry Barrett

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      ‘Mrs Wilkie,’ I muttered. She was nice as neighbours went, but now I cursed her hospitality.

      ‘We got the train, and then a cab,’ Tansy explained. ‘But I didn’t realise how long it would take. Scotland’s bigger than I thought.’

      I looked at Jamie, but he wasn’t listening to Tansy. Actually, he barely looked at her. Instead he stared at the little boy, who was curled up on the sofa, fast asleep, his dark curls spread out on the cushion.

      ‘The little boy,’ he said, in an odd voice. ‘Your little boy. How old is he?’

      I took his hand, knowing where he was going.

      Tansy looked at Jamie.

      ‘He’s five,’ she said. She closed her eyes as if she was bracing herself for what Jamie would say next.

      ‘And is he,’ Jamie started. His voice trembled. ‘Is he…’

      Tansy nodded.

      ‘He’s your son,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.’

      Jamie sat down, quickly, on a footstool. He was so pale, I was worried he was going to pass out.

      ‘We’re going up to bed,’ Harry said. I looked at her in surprise – I’d almost forgotten she was there. Louise gave Jamie’s arm a squeeze as she went by and shot me a sympathetic smile.

      ‘I’m going to put the kettle on,’ Mum said. She went out of the room, followed by Suky and Douglas.

      I felt sick. Jamie hadn’t said a word. Tansy was staring at him, holding her wine glass but not drinking.

      ‘Just so we’re all sure,’ I said, my voice a bit louder than it needed to be. ‘Just so we all know exactly what’s going on here. You have turned up at my mum’s house, one week before my wedding, to tell my fiancé that he has a son? Is that it? Are there any more secrets you want to reveal, or are you going to wait until the reception?’

      Tansy put her wine glass down and stood up. She was wearing a grey jumper dress and boots and she was taller than me. She took a step towards Jamie, then stopped.

      ‘Jamie,’ she said. ‘Honey.’

      I flinched at the endearment.

      ‘Jamie,’ she said again. ‘I know this is difficult. If you can just let me explain.’

      He looked her straight in the eye.

      ‘Oh you’re going to explain,’ he said. I’d never heard him quite so angry. Well, maybe once, but I didn’t like thinking about that time. ‘Talk.’

      Tansy sat down again while Jamie leaned against the fireplace like a disapproving Victorian father. I sat down on the sofa opposite Tansy.

      ‘I don’t know where to start,’ she said, picking up her wine again.

      ‘Well how about,’ Jamie said, ‘you start at the beginning and you carry on until the part where you arrive on my doorstep with a kid?’

      His voice was very calm, but I could tell he was very close to exploding. Tansy obviously knew it too. She took a breath.

      ‘Things were pretty bad between us at the end, remember?’ she said. Jamie nodded, grim-faced.

      ‘You were talking about coming back to the UK, and I thought there was more to do in Africa…’ She looked into her almost-full wine glass, then back up at Jamie. ‘I said some horrible things to you.’

      ‘I can help people here, too,’ Jamie said.

      Tansy nodded.

      ‘I know that now,’ she said. ‘I was a bit worthy back then.’

      The ghost of a smile crossed Jamie’s lips.

      ‘You mean you were wrong,’ he said.

      Tansy gave him a look that was verging on disdainful.

      ‘The day before you left,’ she said. ‘Remember how awful it was?’

      ‘Kids died all the time,’ Jamie said, turning to me. His eyes were distant as he remembered. ‘You never got used to it, but we lived with it. We got on with helping the ones we could help. But that day was rough. There was a lot of malaria about and it seemed all the kids nearby were suffering. We had a queue outside the centre, we were letting in as many patients as we could but we had kids sharing beds. It was heartbreaking…’

      Tansy shifted on the sofa and stroked her little boy’s hair. Her eyes were full of tears.

      ‘That day, so many died,’ Jamie went on. ‘So many. And all I could hear was the women crying, wailing, for their lost children.’ He shook his head. ‘But the kids never cried. They just lay there, so weak, looking up at us. Trusting us to make them better. And we couldn’t.’ He swallowed. I was close to tears too but I didn’t want to interrupt his story.

      ‘I was upset,’ Tansy said. ‘Jamie and I hadn’t been intimate for weeks, months maybe. But that night, I just wanted to be close to someone. To feel…’

      ‘Yeah, okay,’ I said. I really didn’t need to hear the details of MY Jamie’s make-up sex with this woman. ‘I get the idea.’

      Tansy turned her attention to Jamie.

      ‘And then, when I woke up, you were packing,’ she said. ‘And we fought again. And then you left.’

      Jamie shrugged.

      ‘It was the right thing to do,’ he said. ‘If I’d stayed we’d have been in a never-ending cycle of making up and breaking up.’

      ‘You’re right,’ Tansy said. ‘You’re right. And then I got sick. Really sick. I had malaria too. First they took me to hospital in Mombasa – then, when I was strong enough, I flew home.’ She paused. ‘I don’t remember much about it.’

      Jamie didn’t speak. Tansy twirled her wine glass in her hand. I willed her to drink some more so I could legitimately top up her glass – and mine – but she didn’t.

      ‘When I’d been home a few days the doctor told me I was pregnant,’ she said. ‘I was shocked at first, but it was knowing that I had a reason to recover that got me through.’

      I thought about saying something, then Jamie gave me a warning glance and I thought better of it.

      ‘I was a mess, Jamie,’ Tansy said. ‘I was weak and depressed, and I didn’t know what to do. By the time I’d got it all clear in my head, Parker was born. Then there was baby stuff, and work…’

      ‘Work?’ Jamie prompted.

      ‘At the hospital in Boston,’ she said. ‘And one day a week at a mobile clinic working with pregnant women in the suburbs.’

      ‘You’re helping people at home,’ Jamie said.

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