Too Scared to Tell. Cathy Glass

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      ‘How many rolls?’

      ‘One,’ he said.

      ‘What would you like in it?’

I showed him what we had and he chose ham and a slice of cheese as a filling, and a drink of orange juice. By the time he sat down at the table to eat, Adrian and Lucy were leaving to get ready for work. I took my coffee and sat with Oskar as he ate. It wasn’t long before the smell of ham brought Sammy in, nose twitching. I gave him a stroke and then kept an eye on him, making sure he didn’t jump up and steal some ham, as he tried to do sometimes.

      ‘Do you like the cat?’ Oskar asked me as he ate.

      ‘Yes.’ I smiled. ‘He’s like one of the family. Do you have a pet?’

      ‘At my house …’ he began, and stopped.

      ‘Yes, love?’

      But he continued eating, clearly having decided not to say any more on that topic. Then he asked, ‘Can we go to school now?’

      ‘When you’ve finished your breakfast. There’s no rush.’

      Paula appeared and said hi to us both before getting herself some breakfast. She sat next to me and we talked a little about her college as Oskar finished his roll and then drank the juice.

      ‘Can we go to school now?’ he asked again the moment he’d finished.

      ‘Yes, but there’s plenty of time. We won’t be late.’ Given that he’d often been late for school in the past, I guessed it was worrying him.

      ‘Have a good day,’ Paula said as Oskar and I left the table.

      ‘And you, love,’ I replied.

      I took Oskar upstairs to wash his face and hands and brush his teeth, and then downstairs again we put on our jackets and shoes. He appeared to be very self-sufficient and didn’t need much help from me.

‘Are we going to school now?’ he asked as we got into the car.

      ‘Yes, but don’t worry, you won’t be late.’

      He asked me again as I drove and I said, ‘We’re going to school, but it’s a different route to the one you’re used to, as I live in a different part of town.’

      ‘I like school,’ he said.

      ‘Good, I’m pleased.’

      ‘I like school,’ he said again a minute later. ‘I wish I could stay there.’

      I glanced at him in the rear-view mirror. He was looking out of his side window, frowning, deep in thought as he often seemed to be.

      ‘Why do you prefer school to home?’ I asked gently. Many children like school, but preferring it to home was unusual and also worrying. I’d had children before disclose abuse while I’d been driving. I think it helps, not being able to see the person’s face when saying something painful, similar to writing it down or confiding in a diary.

      Oskar hadn’t replied, but he was still frowning and continued to gaze out of his side window.

      ‘Why is school better than your home?’ I asked again lightly, keeping my eyes on the road ahead. ‘Can you think of a reason?’

      ‘My teacher is nice,’ he offered.

      ‘Yes. She is nice,’ I agreed. Although that alone wouldn’t normally be enough for a child to prefer school to home.

      ‘Are the people in your house nice?’ I asked.

      He didn’t reply, but as I looked again in the rear-view mirror I saw him imperceptibly shake his head and his frown deepen.

‘Oskar, love, is there anything about your home life that is worrying you and you can tell me? I know you were able to tell Miss Jordan some things yesterday and that was very brave of you. Is there anything else you want to say?’ He didn’t reply. ‘If you do think of anything, you know you can tell me or Miss Jordan. We are both here to help you.’

      But he changed the subject. ‘There’s a cat like Sammy,’ he said, pointing through the window.

      ‘Yes, he is,’ I agreed.

      I parked outside Oskar’s school and he couldn’t get out of the car fast enough, his face losing some of its angst. As soon as we entered the playground, Miss Jordan appeared. I think she must have been looking out for us. She came straight over.

      ‘My teacher!’ Oskar cried, delighted.

      ‘How are you, Oskar?’ she asked emotionally. I know teachers aren’t supposed to encourage physical contact with their pupils, but she allowed him a hug.

      ‘He’s doing fine,’ I told her. ‘He had a good night’s sleep and is eating well.’

      ‘That’s a relief. I had a sleepless night worrying about him.’ I knew how she felt! ‘I’m sure he’s looking better already, less tired,’ she said. I had thought so too – the dark rings under his eyes were fading. ‘Can you come into reception?’ she asked me. ‘The secretary needs you to fill in a form with your contact details. There wasn’t time yesterday.’

      ‘Yes. I also need to buy Oskar another school uniform,’ I said.

      ‘You might not have to. Oskar’s uncle, Mr Nowak, has just brought in a big bag of Oskar’s belongings.’

      ‘Really? That was quick.’ I was surprised, but pleased Oskar was going to be reunited with some of his possessions.

We followed Miss Jordan into reception where she introduced me to the school secretary, then she waited, talking to Oskar, while I filled in the necessary form. I asked the secretary if Oskar’s school dinners had been paid for. When a child comes into care this becomes the carer’s responsibility and often the bill hasn’t been settled, so I pay it straight away. The secretary checked on her computer and said Oskar’s school meals had been paid for until half-term, so nothing was outstanding.

      Miss Jordan then went into the office and brought out a large laundry-style bag that Mr Nowak had dropped off. ‘Will you be able to manage it?’ she asked, setting the bag on the floor beside me.

      ‘Yes, I should think so,’ I said, testing it. ‘I’ve got my car outside.’ It was bulky rather than very heavy.

      Oskar was looking at the bag. ‘I’ll take this home and put your things in your bedroom,’ I said to him.

      He didn’t reply.

      ‘Oskar’s PE kit and book bag are in the classroom,’ Miss Jordan said. ‘I didn’t bother you with them yesterday.’ I nodded. ‘We like the PE kit to be taken home and washed once a week, and the book bag goes home with the child every afternoon so they can read a little.’ This was usual for a primary school.

      ‘Where should I wait for Oskar at the end of school?’ I asked.

      ‘In СКАЧАТЬ