There was an excitement in her voice and the lively anticipation in her face amused Gil. Seeing his smile, she laughed.
‘I have not been to the coast for years. When we were children Ran and I used to come here with Papa. The greatest treat was to call upon one of the local families, where we would dine on shrimp before we returned home.’
He waved her on. ‘Lead the way then, Miss Meltham. I am anxious to see it for myself.’
They set off again at a brisk trot, but Deborah’s mood began to dip as she contrasted those happy carefree memories with her brother’s life now. Even to be out enjoying herself today seemed wrong, when Ran was so unhappy. And last night she had come very close to despair.
When Randolph had joined her after dinner he had gone straight to the side table and poured himself a brandy from the decanter.
‘What?’ he demanded, looking up and catching her eye. ‘Why do you look like that?’
‘Have you not drunk enough? Doctor Reedley said—’
‘Damn the doctor and damn you!’ The outburst seemed to sober him. He passed a hand over his eyes and said more quietly, ‘I beg your pardon, Deb, I know you are trying to look after me.’
‘You are all I have left, Ran.’
He frowned at her, then took the brandy in one gulp and refilled his glass. He sat down, cradling the glass between two hands and staring moodily into the amber depths.
‘You should leave me,’ he said abruptly. ‘Go and make a life for yourself somewhere far away.’
She smiled lovingly at him. ‘And just where would I go? What would I live on? An income of fifty pounds a year will scarce support me.’
‘I could make you an allowance.’
Her smile slipped a little, ‘How will you do that, when the estate is already mortgaged to the hilt?’
She pressed her lips together to avoid saying anything more. For all his faults Ran loved her. She knew that. It was the knowledge of her family’s love that had helped her survive those dark days when she had given her heart to a man, only to have it trampled and broken. She had sworn then she would devote her life to her family, but with Mama and Papa both dead, there was only Randolph. He might be weak, and flawed, but he was the only man she was prepared to trust and to love. She crossed the room and dropped to her knees beside him.
‘I promised Mama I would look after you,’ she whispered.
A lock of fair hair had fallen over his brow and she reached up to brush it back. He did not look up.
‘I am beyond redemption, Debs.’
The hopelessness in his tone tore at her heart, but if she showed him sympathy it would only increase his self-pity.
‘No, no,’ she said bracingly. ‘You will come about, in time.’
‘Time!’ He laughed bitterly. ‘And meanwhile I must remain here, mouldering away in this dreary, forsaken little town.’
‘We discussed it with Dr Reedley, do you not remember, Ran? We agreed it would be best for you to live here quietly.’
‘No, you and Reedley agreed it, not I! You want to keep me here, a prisoner. Can we not live in the Liverpool house? At least at Duke Street I was close to all my friends!’
It was those friends who are responsible for your present state!
Deb closed her lips tightly to prevent the words escaping. With an oath Ran pushed himself out of his chair.
‘I am sick of it, do you hear me? Sick of this place, where everyone knows our business, where they all look down their noses at me.’
‘That is not true, Ran.’
‘Oh, isn’t it? Playing cards for penny points, Sir Geoffrey Gomersham wanting to show me the prize bull he has added to his estate—as if I cared about such things!’
‘Well, you should,’ she said sharply, her patience breaking. ‘This estate is your responsibility now and needs you to take an interest.’
‘Hah, what odd notions you have, Sister! Let the farmers take an interest in the land. As long as they pay their rent I do not care what goes on here!’
She had watched him lounge away, staggering a little as he left the room. No, she thought sadly. Ran cared nothing for Kirkster or its people. Their people. He saw it only as a purse to dip into whenever he wanted money. That purse was nearly empty now, but an even greater worry to Deborah was Ran’s health. Doctor Reedley had been blunt.
‘If Lord Kirkster continues with his mode of life he will not live the year out. Keep him here, quiet and sober, and he has a chance.’
But how was she to do that? She could not physically restrain him and sometimes she thought her brother was hell-bent upon self-destruction.
* * *
‘Deborah, what is it, has something upset you?’
Gil’s voice broke into her despondent thoughts and she gave a little start.
‘I was thinking about my brother.’
‘I see.’
She shook her head. ‘No, how could you?’
‘You could tell me.’
She closed her eyes, suddenly exhausted by carrying the burden of it on her own. She wanted to share it, at least a little of it, and Gil’s tone was so calm, so kind, it invited confidences.
She said, ‘Ran was just eighteen when Papa died. He was really too young to take responsibility for his inheritance, but his guardian was a distant uncle, who saw no profit in his putting himself out for his nephew. Wild friends and wilder living soon swallowed up the funds from our modest estate. I did not know how low Randolph had sunk until I visited him unexpectedly in Duke Street and he confessed the whole. That was when I persuaded him to come and live with me at Fallbridge and close up the Liverpool house. It is an attempt to retrench. I know full well that Ran is doing it only for my sake. But that is not the worst of it.’
She saw Gil recoil and raise one hand as if to silence her, but the next moment that hand was reaching across and covering hers in a brief, comforting grip. ‘I beg your pardon,’ he said quietly. ‘I did not mean to stop you. Do go on, my dear.’
She shook her head, realising how close she had come to unburdening herself fully, but these were not his problems. And Randolph would not wish her to tell anyone that through his own actions he had destroyed his health so comprehensively.
‘I should not have said so much. It is unforgivable to disclose my family’s problems to you or anyone else.’
Gil’s heart contracted when he heard the distress in her voice. What had she been about to tell him? That Kirkster had seduced an innocent schoolgirl СКАЧАТЬ