Love, and Other Things to Live For. Louise Leverett

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СКАЧАТЬ told me how much he valued and appreciated me, now that he’d got to know me better and how he had come to rely on my opinion. And then he tried to kiss me.’

      ‘What did you do?’ I asked.

      ‘I didn’t pull away.’

      ‘Amber, he’s married!’ I cried.

      ‘I know! But I was scared, he’s my boss and now I’m stuck in it. And I don’t know what to do.’

      At that point her phone pinged.

      ‘You’ve got to keep him sweet,’ Sean advised. ‘Don’t piss him off. You don’t know what he might do…’

      ‘But don’t have sex with him either!’ I shouted.

      ‘It’s a tricky one,’ Sean said as he leaned over to look at the phone. ‘He’s typing…’

      ‘What about my business proposal? I’ve worked for weeks on it and it’s really good. I don’t want to lose the opportunity.’

      ‘Babes, I don’t think he cares about your business proposal,’ Sean said, drily. ‘He’s still typing.’

      ‘Can we just change the subject?’ she said, pulling her phone off the table.

      After dinner, I stood in the kitchen by myself, clearing away the forks that we’d used to eat from the cartons.

      ‘The upside of eating takeaway…’ Amber said as she walked back into the kitchen. ‘No washing up!’

      Marlowe had left early to relieve the babysitter and Sean needed to be up early for a gym session. We were alone: just the two of us.

      ‘You can’t have an affair with your boss, Amber. He’s married. What about his wife? Did you even think about her?’

      ‘Hold your horses,’ she said, defensively. ‘I don’t know that I am.’

      ‘What if you piss him off? If he rewards you with a promotion, how does he punish you? It’s your job. Seriously, take it from me, life without an actual career, at our age, well, it’s not ideal…’

      ‘I think you’re overreacting.’

      ‘I’m not,’ I said. ‘I know how hard you’ve worked to get here.’

      I switched off the lights throughout the flat and went to bed, leaving Amber still texting at the kitchen table.

      ‘Amber,’ I said quietly. ‘Trust me, it’s not worth the heartache.’

      I’d passed the piece of paper that was sellotaped in the window numerous times and wondered what loser would want to work in an off-road Italian restaurant. As it turned out, that loser was now me. After the equivalent of a car boot sale for the heart, I felt unshakeable and remembered the advert in the window, sandwiched between a children’s clothes shop and a pharmacist.

      I found myself in front of a small stone building that had been transported from the Italian coast. Terracotta pots hung from the windows and a small layer of condensation gave the windows a slightly blurred feel. I made my way through the door and could immediately smell homemade soup and strong coffee. Through the customers that were gathered around the counter, I saw a large man with a tidy, jet-black beard and, assuming he was the manager, made my way over.

      ‘I saw the advert in the window and was wondering if I could apply for the position?’

      ‘Which position? Chef or waitress?’ he replied.

      ‘Waitress,’ I said quickly, slightly thrown at the prospect of being hired as a chef.

      ‘Maria, can you bring in the large case of tiramisu?’ he called towards the back of the room.

      I noticed his dismissive attitude and tried to hold his attention. ‘I can bring in a CV if you’d like,’ I continued. ‘I live just around the corner…’

      ‘Not necessary,’ he cut me off. ‘Can you come back at midday to help with the lunchtime rush?’

      ‘Of course,’ I said.

      ‘Ask for Guido.’

      ‘Who’s Guido?’

      ‘Me,’ he said.

      I left hastily before he had time to reconsider and returned two hours later, after a quick sandwich and dressed in a white blouse and black trousers. I’d tied my hair into a high ponytail and put on some lipstick so that I felt a little perkier.

      ‘Hi, Jess,’ Maria, the woman I’d heard on my earlier visit, shouted from the back of the restaurant. ‘I’m Guido’s wife.’ She led me through the door reserved for staff. ‘Next time,’ she said, ‘you must enter from the side door on the left. The main door is for customers only. I don’t mind but Guido doesn’t like it.’ She held out her small delicate hand for me to hold. ‘Follow me, the steps are steep.’

      ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know,’ I said, as I looked back at the daylight disappearing as we descended the stairs.

      ‘Toilets are through there and you have your own locker in the side room in the basement. I’ll give you two minutes to freshen up and then see you out on the floor, okay?’ Her accent was thick and Italian.

      I dutifully hung my beige trench coat in my locker, changed into my black leather loafers and washed my hands in the basin. A yellow neon light bulb shone down giving my skin a jaundiced tone. It would be a steady income. And for that I was grateful.

      The following morning, my trial shift had proved successful and I was now a fully-fledged member of the team. I stood on the pavement on the dawn of my first full shift at Guido’s and pulled out my phone from my bag. There was another missed call from Harry. Another call unanswered, but this time I decided to handle things differently. I pressed redial and listened for the ringing tone. After what seemed like an eternity of doubts that perhaps he’d seen sense and found somebody new, he answered.

      ‘Harry,’ I said. ‘It’s Jess. How are you?’

      ‘Jess, I’m fine thanks. Nice to hear from you.’ His voice sounded surprised, as expected.

      ‘I saw that I had a missed call from you and so, I just thought I’d call to say… well, hello… and things…’

      ‘It’s good to hear from you, Jess. Yeah, I did ring. Quite a few times, actually.’

      ‘I know,’ I said. ‘I’m sorry…’

      After a brief pause, he continued. ‘So, why ring now?’

      ‘Well, I was thinking we could meet up again,’ I said, wincing.

      ‘Sure. I mean, I’ve never met a girl who cost me a week’s salary just to eat noodles. Maybe we could go to the Ritz for tea this time?’

      I laughed out loud. ‘Thanks for making a joke,’ I said, smiling. ‘Is that a yes then?’

      ‘Yes,’ СКАЧАТЬ