Single Dads Collection. Lynne Marshall

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СКАЧАТЬ to wink at Lily in the back seat, ‘if we make it a party, it’ll be a chance for Lily and I to dress up.’

      Lily brightened. ‘Can I wear my pink shoes?’

      ‘You can,’ said Alice. ‘And I’ll wear my shoes with the bows. What do you think?’ she asked, ignoring Will’s snort.

      ‘I like them.’

      ‘I’m so glad we’ve got the footwear sorted out,’ said Will sarcastically as they turned into their road. ‘Now there’s nothing else to worry about!’

      Although, as it turned out, there was.

      An email from the agency in London was waiting for him when he went into the office the next day. Will sat at his desk and stared at the screen. They had found an excellent candidate, the email informed him. An experienced nanny, mature and sensible, Helen would be able to fly out to St Bonaventure as soon as required. Would he please read the attached CV and their comments on Helen’s interview and let them know as soon as possible if he wished to offer her the post.

      Will lifted his eyes from the screen. Through the glass wall of his office he could see Alice on the phone. She had taken responsibility for the refreshments, and her face was animated as she talked, one hand holding the phone to her ear, the other gesticulating as if the person on the other end could see her.

      When she had gone, he wouldn’t be able to look at that phone without imagining her as she was now. He wouldn’t be able to sit on the verandah in the evening without feeling her beside him, talking, stretching, waving her arms around, laughing, arguing, her face vivid in the darkness. He wouldn’t be able to lie in bed without remembering her kisses, her softness and her warmth, the silken fire of her.

      When she had gone, there would be an aching, empty void wherever she had been.

      ‘I need to talk to you,’ he said to her that night after they had put Lily to bed.

      ‘That sounds serious,’ said Alice lightly. ‘Had we better sit down?’

      So they sat in their accustomed places on the verandah, and Will tried to marshal the churning thoughts that had been occupying him all day. He hadn’t been able to talk to her at the office, and he didn’t want to say anything in front of Lily. He’d thought he’d decided what he was going to say, but now that he was here his careful arguments seemed to have vanished.

      ‘What is it?’ asked Alice after a while.

      ‘I had an email today from the agency in London. They’ve found a nanny who sounds very suitable and she can come out next week if I want.’

      Alice sat very still. Funny, she had known this was going to happen—it was what she had insisted should happen—but, now that the moment was here, she was completely unprepared. Everything had worked out perfectly. A nanny was available. Lily was going to school soon, and there would be someone to look after her when Will wasn’t there. She could go home.

      It was just what she wanted.

      So why did her heart feel as if it had turned to a stone in her chest?

      ‘I see,’ she said, and from somewhere produced a smile. ‘Well, that’s good news. What’s her name?’

      ‘Helen.’

      Helen would soon be sitting here with him. Helen would meet Lily from school and kiss her knees when she fell down. Helen would be waiting for him when he got home in the evening.

      Is she pretty? Alice wanted to ask. Is she young? Will you fall in love with her?

      ‘When’s she coming?’ she asked instead.

      ‘I haven’t replied yet,’ said Will. ‘I wanted to talk to you first.’ He hesitated. ‘I wanted to ask if you would stay.’

       CHAPTER NINE

      ‘STAY?’ Alice echoed blankly.

      ‘Yes, stay. Lily loves you, she’ll miss you. And I’ll miss you too,’ Will admitted honestly. ‘I’m not asking you to stay for ever, Alice. I know how you feel about commitment, but the last couple of weeks have been good, haven’t they?’

      ‘Yes,’ she said, unable to deny it.

      ‘Then why not carry on as we are?’ he said, uncomfortably aware of the undercurrent of urgency, even desperation, in his voice. He cleared his throat and tried to sound more normal. ‘You told me yourself that your engagement had fallen through and that you didn’t have a job at the moment. What have you got to go home to?’

      ‘My home,’ said Alice a little defensively. ‘My life.’

      ‘You could have a home and a life here.’

      ‘For how long?’ she asked. ‘I can’t pretend I haven’t enjoyed the last few weeks, Will. It’s been a special time, but special times don’t last.’

      ‘They don’t if you don’t give them a chance,’ said Will.

      She bit her lip. The thought of saying goodbye to him and Lily tore at her, but he was asking her to give up her whole life, and for what?

      ‘How can they last?’ she said. ‘Lily will be going to school soon, and what would I do then? You’ve got an absorbing job, Sara looks after the house. There’s no place for me here, Will. How long would it be before I get bored, and everything that’s made this such a wonderful time disappears?’

      ‘You could find something to do,’ said Will. ‘Look at how you’ve taken over with the open day. Someone with your organisational skills will always find a job.’

      ‘I might find some temporary or voluntary work, but that’s not what I want. I’ve got a career, and the longer I stay away from it the more difficult it will be to go back to it. I’ve worked hard to get to this stage,’ she told him. ‘I can’t just chuck it all in now on the basis of a few happy weeks.’

      ‘At least you admit you have been happy,’ said Will with an unmistakable thread of bitterness. ‘Are you going to be happy in London? No, don’t answer that,’ he said as Alice hesitated. ‘You’ve always put your career before your happiness, haven’t you?’

      ‘At least I can rely on my career to give me satisfaction and security,’ she retorted. ‘You can’t rely on being happy.’

      ‘But if you don’t take the risk you’ll never know how happy you could be.’

      Alice sighed and pushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. ‘We’ve been through all this before, Will,’ she reminded him. ‘You’ve got your career, I’ve got mine, and they don’t fit together. We still want different things from life.’

      ‘So you won’t stay?’ he asked heavily. ‘Not even for a while?’

      She swallowed. ‘No.’ And then, when he said nothing, ‘Surely you can see that the longer I stay, the harder it’s going to be to say goodbye? It’s going to come to goodbye sometime, and I think it СКАЧАТЬ