Название: Single Dads Collection
Автор: Lynne Marshall
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Короткие любовные романы
Серия: Mills & Boon e-Book Collections
isbn: 9780008900625
isbn:
She broke off, not knowing how to say it, but she didn’t need to. Dan was beside her, holding her, offering her a tissue and giving her a gentle hug. ‘I understand. I would feel the same. And I guess he did, too.’
‘It was sort of goodbye,’ she said unevenly. ‘And maybe—perhaps there was a part of me that hoped it might bring him back to me. Bring him to his senses. Make him realise all the things here waiting for him at home.’
‘Maybe this tour will. Maybe it’s just what he needs—to go from this to that.’
She shook her head. ‘It’ll just remind him of what it’s like to be free, to have nothing more significant to think of than picking up his passport on the way out of the door.’
She looked down at Kizzy. ‘Dan, I can’t adopt her. I have to let her go. If I don’t, I’ll never be able to let go of Harry and move on.’
She was sleeping now, her little rosebud lips still white with milk, and carefully, so as not to wake her, Emily lifted her against her shoulder and walked with her until she brought up her wind, then carried her upstairs and changed her and put her down.
Then she went into Freddie’s room and stared down at him, her baby, flat out on his back, arms and legs outstretched, sprawled the full length of his cot. He was outgrowing it, she realised. He’d need a bed soon. Maybe Beth’s. She was getting big for her little bed, but it would be perfect for Freddie.
And then who would have the cot?
No! She mustn’t let herself think about it. It was madness. Anyway, he probably wouldn’t want her to have Kizzy, because it would mean he would never be able to let her go, either. He’d always be thinking about her, and if he ever came back, he’d want to see her, and they’d never be able to move on, any of them.
And she wasn’t foolish enough to imagine that one short hour in his arms would make any difference to him, no matter how wonderful it was. For her, at least.
For him, it had probably been simply a matter of propinquity. She’d been there, he’d felt a need to hold someone close.
Freddie stirred, his eyes flickered open and he smiled. ‘Mummy,’ he said, holding out his arms, and she lifted him from his cot and cradled him tight and inhaled the warm baby smell of him.
She’d been happy before Harry had come back into her life—happy with Beth and Freddie and holding the fort for her parents, happy working for Nick and Georgie and doing other contracts locally.
Worried about money, yes, but happy, for all that. Contented. At peace.
Not so now. Now she was in turmoil, and she couldn’t imagine it feeling any better for a long, long while.
If ever.
Georgie’s baby was gorgeous.
Georgie was in the family room, ensconced on the sofa with the baby in her arms, and Harry and Dickon were playing with Maya on the floor.
‘Oh, she’s beautiful,’ Emily breathed, her eyes filling as she set Kizzy’s carrier down and hugged Georgie gently.
‘She’s really pretty,’ Beth sighed, standing up on tiptoe and leaning over to get a better look.
‘You think? I reckon she’s got her father’s nose.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with her father’s nose,’ Nick said, following them into the room with a grin he couldn’t hide and an indulgent look about his eyes.
Emily reckoned if he could have crowed, he’d be doing it, and she laughed at him softly. ‘I don’t need to ask how the proud father’s feeling this morning.’
He chuckled and sat down on the end of the sofa, scooping up Freddie and holding him so he could have a look. ‘How about I take this lot out into the garden for a few minutes, give you two time to chat?’
Georgie smiled gratefully at him, and Nick ushered the children out through the French doors and into the garden, still within sight but out of earshot. Emily turned to her and took her friend’s hand. ‘So how are you? Really?’
‘Really? Sore, a little bit battered and absolutely ecstatic. It’s just wonderful. So different. Last year when we suddenly ended up with Harry and Dickon and Maya as a newborn baby, it was such a sad time. It shouldn’t have been, Lucie dying was all wrong, and it was a time of massive adjustment for all of us. But this—this is just how it ought to be, another baby coming into the family, and oddly it doesn’t feel all that different. I love the other three so much I can’t imagine I’ll love this one any more, but there is a difference. Carrying her, giving birth to her—it just makes it so much easier to love her. You know, I grew to love Maya, just as you’ve grown to love Kizzy, but I loved baby Lucie before she was born. Does that make sense?’
‘Absolutely.’ Emily nodded, thinking of Kizzy and how quickly she’d fallen under her spell, despite her best attempts to stay detached.
‘I don’t suppose there’s any progress with you and Harry, is there? I’d so love to see you two settled. You belong together—you always have.’
‘I don’t think so.’ She gave a strangled little laugh. ‘Actually, I’ve got something to tell you. You know Harry’s gone? He’s in Indonesia, reporting on an earthquake.’
‘Really? Oh, Emily, I didn’t know! I’m so sorry—I haven’t noticed anything but the baby since I went into labour.’
‘No, well, I wouldn’t expect you to. But anyway, just before he went, he told me…’ She broke off, took a breath and went on, ‘He said he was thinking of putting Kizzy up for adoption.’
Georgie’s expression was horrified. ‘Oh, Em, no! Oh, poor little thing! How can he?’
She shrugged. ‘Says he can’t be a full-time father and carry on with his job. And I don’t know what to do. Dan says I should adopt her myself, but—I’ll never be free of him if I do that. And it’s so much worse this time.’
She closed her eyes, letting her head fall forward so her hair shielded her face, but Georgie just reached out an arm and drew her down, holding her while she cried.
‘I miss him,’ she sobbed. ‘It’s so silly. But I’ve been really stupid and let myself fall for him all over again, and now he’s on the other side of the world and I just have this really bad feeling—’
‘Hush. You’ve had that really bad feeling every time you’ve seen him reporting from some hellhole or other. You need to get him out of your system—sleep with him. Maybe it’ll reveal some truly awful habits.’
Emily straightened up and sniffed, rummaging for a tissue. ‘Nice theory. Unfortunately he doesn’t seem to have any truly awful habits, so it didn’t work.’
Georgie’s jaw dropped. ‘Oh, my, you’ve done it. After all this time.’
She nodded. ‘Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, but I just couldn’t let him go without knowing—just in case. And now…’
‘Oh, Em. I’m so sorry.’
She СКАЧАТЬ